JOKES

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She put on her robe and went downstairs.  He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.  He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear?  Why are you down here at this time of night?" She asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16? he asked.
"Yes, I do", she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Eighter you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do", she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... ...I would have gotten out today."


This is very unusual for me.  As you may or may not know, I'm not very active in the stock market, for better or worse.  I'm not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice.  But yesterday, I heard from a friend who is a drug rep for Glaxo/Welcome Pharmaceuticals he told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm.  This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company.  The drug is called "Ginkgo Viagra", and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.
Good Luck!!!