GET THE SCOOP ON SHOVELING SNOW

                               Heart attacks, strain on the back, muscle spasms, and additional conditions can all be side effects of shoveling snow.  A required task in many regions of the country each winter, shoveling snow could turn into a medical emergency.
                               Typical winter conditions, such as temperatures below 20 F, a few inches of snow and the physical activity of shoveling, can cause death rates from heart attacks to triple among men 35 to 49 years old, say medical experts.  While shoveling may seem like child's play, it's really the equivalent of playing an active game of tennis or doing speed walking.  That's a big demand on the body, primarily for individuals who are not accustomed to such physical exertion.
                               Also, people underestimate just how many pounds of snow are being moved.  On average, a shovel loaded with snow can weigh approximately 15 pounds.  Repeatedly removingsnow over the course of even a few minutes can add up to thousands of pounds.
                               Shoveling snow safely requires a few precautions.

• If you are prone to heart trouble, ask your doctor if it is safe to shovel snow.  If  not, hire a professional or a neighborhood kid to do the shoveling.
• Don't smoke or drink caffeine before starting to shovel.  These substances can constrict blood vessels and compound problems of blood flow to and from the heart.
• Stretch your back, legs and arms before shoveling to reduce the chance for strain or more serious injury.  Warm up muscles by walking or marching in place.  Swing your arms and rotate your neck as well.
• Choose a small-bladeed shovel.  This will prevent you from overloading the shovel with snow.
• Always bend with the knees and lift with your legs.  Step in the direction you'll be throwing the snow so you're not pivoting at your back and waist, potentially causing injury.
• Do a lot of pushing of snow and a little lifting whenever possible.
• Shovel in sections, especially when there is a heavy accumulation of snow.
• Dres in layers so you can remove them to feel comfortable.  You don't want to sweat and risk hypothermia.  Also, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated.
• Pay attention to what your body is telling you.   If you feel pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, or any other adverse symptoms, stop shoveling and get rest or medical attention.

REMOVING SNOW AND ICE SAFELY

                    Snow and ice can be beautiful, but can also be treacherous and hazardous.  That is why municipalities budget thousands of dollars every year for plowing and salting the roadways.  Individual homeowners also maintain their properties through shoveling and salting -- but at what cost to the environment?
                   It's estimated that more than 20 million tons of sodium chloride are dumped on roadways across the country every year in an attempt to keep roads safe.  Drivers know what salt can do to the apperance and performance of their vehicles. As it turns out, snow-melting products can have environmental implications as well.
                  Concerns about salt and chemical snow-melting products involve runoff that can contaminate nearby water supplies.  Minnesota researchers discovered in early 2010 that, in the urban Twin Cities area, 70 percent of the salt applied to roads stayed within the region's watershed.  Sodium chloride alone can affect the pH of water, changing the environment in which marine life lives, potentially causing certain speciesto die off and creating dead zones.  It can also affect the sodium content of wel water, which can be dangerous to individuals on sodium-restrictive diets.
                   In terms of vegetation alongside roadways, splashing from salty puddles can cause plants and trees to wither and soil to erode.  Plus, salt accumulation at the edge of roads can be enticing to animals who will go there to feed.  This can increase the risk of accidents with motorists.
                  There are alternatives to salt for roadway cleaning, but chemicals can be just as harmful or more so.  Furthermore, municipalities are often reticent to change snow removal operations because it could require investing in new and costly equipment.
                  One of the greener methods of snow and ice removal is simply some elbow grease.  Using a shovel or ice chipper reduces the need for salt application.  If salt must be used, individuals should use it sparingly.
                  Other alternatives will not melt snow but can increase traction.  Consider applying sand or birdseed to improve footing on icy surfaces.  Special boots with improved treads can also provide traction.
                  Homeowners who are considering replacing a driveway this season may want to spend a little more money on one with snow-melting capabilities.  Electric wires beneath the concrete will heat the surface and radiate the warmth upward.
                  There's no ideal way to protect the planet from snow-removal products, and the argument will remain about what is more important: public safety or environmental safety?  However, reducing reliance on salts and other chemical de-icers can do a part in protecting water supplies, animals and vegetation.

"RETARDED" GRANDPARENTS

Written by a third grader,  on what his grandparents do.

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.  They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona.  Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.  They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags, because they don't know who they are anymore.  They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.  There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.  At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.  He watches all day so nobody can escape.  Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.  Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.  And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds.  Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.  The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.  My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and, says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.  When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.  Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

                                PRICELESS

POLICE CHIEF : MAN TRIED TO SELL FAKE GOLD

Police say a Boston man picked the wrong mark when he tried to sell him fake gold jewelry at a grocery store.
The man approached William Pace on Sunday and offered to sell him a bracelet and chain marked as 14 karat gold for $100. Two problems Pace is the police chief in Randolph, Mass., and he owns a jewelry store.
Pace, who was out of uniform, tells The Patriot Ledger he could tell the gold was fake by its look and feel.
The suspect, identified by police as Johnnie Butts, will be issued a summons to appear in court on a charge of attempt to commit larceny by false pretense.
Police are trying to determine if Butts sold any fake jewelry to others before approaching Pace.
__

Smugglers with "medieval catapult" nabbed at border

 In a brazen attempt reminiscent of a medieval siege, Mexican smugglers tried to use a hefty catapult to hurl drugs north over the U.S. Border, authorities said..
The Mexican military seized 45 pounds of marijuana, a sports utility vehicle and a metal-framed catapult just south of the Arizona border near the small town of Naco last Friday, following a tip-off from the U.S. Border Patrol.
Surveillance video taken by National Guard troops deployed to support the Border Patrol caught a group of men apparently attempting to pull down a metal beam and load or test the catapult, which was powered by powerful elastic and mounted on a trailer close to the metal border fence.
"It looks like a medieval catapult that was used back in the day," Tucson sector Border Patrol spokesman David Jimarez told Reuters.
Arizona straddles a furiously trafficked corridor for human and drug smugglers from Mexico.
The U.S. Border Patrol seize hundreds of tons of marijuana and other drugs each year, smuggled over or under the line using a variety of means, including trucks, clandestine tunnels, horseback and even micro-light aircraft -- although the catapult was new, Jimarez said.
"I have not seen anything like that in my time before as a Border Patrol agent ... although we are trained to handle any kind of a threat that comes over that border," he added.

Body of TV quizmaster snatched from grave

 The body of Mike Bongiorno, who was Italy's top quiz show host for more than 50 years and a close friend of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, was stolen from his grave, officials said on Tuesday.
Bongiorno, who died in Sept 2009 at the age of 85, was buried in Arona near Milan. A pensioner who regularly visits the cemetery alerted police that the grave had been violated and emptied. Italian media said no ransom had been demanded so far.
Bongiorno, a fixture in Italian television since its first broadcast in the 1950s, helped Berlusconi launch commercial television in the 1970s.
It is not the first time that the body of a famous personality has been snatched in Italy.
In 2001, in a cemetery near the one where Bongiorno was buried, the corpse of an investment banker Enrico Cuccia was stolen and a ransom demanded. The thieves were identified and arrested.

Girl with girl cheating OK, half of boyfriends say

 Half of men would forgive their female partner's infidelity, as long as it was with another woman, according to a new study on cheating. Women, however, were less likely to forgive and forget if their boyfriend had been with another man, the University of Texas at Austin study showed.
Researchers asked 718 college students to imagine being in a long-term relationship and what their reactions would be to several different cheating scenarios.
They found that overall, 50 percent of men would likely continue a relationship with a woman who had a dalliance with another woman, while 22 percent said they could forgive betrayal with another man.
For women, the results were reversed. If their boyfriend cheated with another woman, 28 percent said they'd keep him around, but only 21 percent said they would if he cheated with another man.
Published this month in the journal "Personality and Individual Differences," the study concluded the participant's reactions were based on basic jealousy instincts.
"A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues -- those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women," said Jaime Confer, the study's lead author and a PhD candidate in evolutionary psychology.
Men, they said, felt more threatened by a rival male because of paternity uncertainty, whereas they saw a female partner's homosexual affair as "an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously, satisfying men's greater desire for more partners."
Mark Cloud, one of the study co-authors, stressed in an interview that the homosexual infidelity scenario they asked participants to imagine was very rare in reality.
So, the researchers asked participants about their real experiences with cheating. There again, men showed less tolerance of cheating than women.
"Men were significantly more likely than women to have ended their actual relationships following a partner's affair," according to the study.

Hitler's last bodyguard gives up on fan mail

 More than 65 years after World War Two, Adolf Hitler's last surviving bodyguard says that he can no longer respond to the continuous deluge of fan mail he receives from around the world, because of his advanced age.
Rochus Misch is 93 and uses a walking frame to move around his apartment. He told the Berliner Kurier tabloid that, with most of the letters he receives asking for autographs, it was "no longer possible" to reply because of his age.
"They (letters) come from Korea, from Knoxville, Tennessee, from Finland and Iceland -- and not one has a bad word to say," said Misch, who is believed to be the last man alive to have seen Hitler and other top-ranking Nazis in the flesh.
In the past Misch used to send fans autographed copies of wartime photos of himself in a neatly pressed SS uniform. Now the incoming fan mail, including letters and packages, piles up in his flat in south Berlin's leafy Rudow neighborhood.
Misch also served as Hitler's telephone operator and courier. His memoirs, "The Last Witness," were published in 2008 in Germany and are in the works to become a feature film.

Social networking leads to sex faster?

 Nearly four out of five women and three of five men say they believe texting, Facebook and other social networking tools cause new couples to jump into bed faster, a survey released on Monday showed.
But only 38 percent of women say they have actually slept with a date any sooner because of digital intimacy, according to the 1,200 women and men who participated in the third annual sex survey by Shape and Men's Fitness magazines.
Smart phones and laptops are the new toys that lead to the bedroom, it said, with nearly 80 percent of women and 58 percent of men saying social media tools leads to sex faster.
Texting is the No. 1 way lovers stay in touch, the survey found, with men texting 39 percent more often than phoning and women 150 percent more.
Even before the magic begins, 70 percent of women and 63 percent of men use Google and other online tools to screen potential dates.
Sixty-five percent of those polled said they had been asked out by text and 49 percent through a Facebook message.
Once the relationship clicks, 72 percent of women report scouring a current partner's ex-girlfriends' Facebook pages.
Even in the heat of passion, some people just can't get enough of their digital devices, the survey found. When a call or text comes in during sex, 5 percent of respondents said they glance to see who is calling and 1 percent say they stop to answer the phone.
And when the spark is extinguished, digital dumping is the new way to break up, with 43 percent of women and 27 percent of men reporting getting a text along the lines of "It's not you, it's me."
For the heartbroken, the Internet keeps hope alive, with 81 percent of all respondents saying they won't de-friend an ex on Facebook and 75 percent admitting to constantly checking a former sweetheart's page.

Woman survives fall from 23rd floor

 An Argentine woman survived after jumping from the 23rd floor of a downtown Buenos Aires hotel on Monday, landing on a taxi moments after the driver dashed to safety, the state news agency reported.
The 33-year-old woman was in the intensive care ward of a Buenos Aires hospital after the suicide attempt, the Telam agency said.
Taxi driver Miguel Cajal said he got out of his parked taxi and ran for safety when he saw a policeman looking up at the woman, who was on an upper floor of the Panamericano hotel.
"If I hadn't got out, I'd be dead," Cajal, 39, told local television, which showed pictures of his mangled vehicle, its windshield and roof crushed by the impact of the woman's fall.

Burglars snort man's ashes, thought it was cocaine

Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday.
The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
"The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.
Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.
Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.

OUR LATEST WORKOUT ROUTINE :

           SYNCHRONIZED  SHOVELING

                        On Thursday I was out with the neighbors engaging in the latest workout program to sweep the Philadelphia region.  It's called digging out, and everybody's doing it.
                        To understand the significance of this, you have to understand that Philadelphia is not a workout town.  We go to the gym sporadically.  We jog only occasionally. We do calisthenics reluctantly, but we still manage to look good.
                        Oh, sure, some obscure magazine once decided we were America's fattest city, and perhaps it was justified.  We are, after all, kinda fat.  Maybe it's the cheesesteaks and hoagies, or the soft pretzels and tastykakes. Maybe it's the constant sitting.  I don't know.  But I do know that Philadelphia has proved over the years that fat is the new skinny.  Rotund is the new buff.  And digging out of snowstorms is LA Fitness, Philly style.
                        At first I didn't believe it.  I thought that maybe I was imagining things.  But on Thursday, when I joined my neighbors in digging out for the umpteenth time this winter, I realized something.  When we're digging, we're in this thing together.  And most of all, we're getting in shape.  Just like all those spray-tanned people at the gym.
                        Unlike the LA Fitness crowd, our workouts are pure grit.  We aren't shallow enough to let fancy Nautilus machines twist our bodies into soft pretzels.  We don't do stair climersunless we're on actual stairs.  We don't dress up in million-dollar workout gear when dollar-store chic will do.
                        Real Philadelphians work out the old-fashioned way.  We throw on our dirty sweats, lace up our paint-stained boots and use worn-out shovels to dig our way into shape.  It helps that snow plows routinely push 100 pounds of extra snow in front of each house, thus trapping our cars in icy graves that force us to dig them out using nothing but old shovels and elbow grease.
                        Counting back to the snowstorm that led to the rescheduling of the Eagles-Vikings game, I think I've shoveled through about 1,000 pounds of snow in the last month or so.  My arms are rock-hard.  My legs are solid steel.  My chest looks like a barrel.  My secret?  I spend two hours lifting hundreds of pounds of snow while wearing a Rocky Balboa hoodie and a wool hat that would look ridiculous were it not for the subfreezing temperatures.  Then I go into my house and eat the closest thing to a cheesesteak I can find.
                       My muscles are thankful for the snow routine, but my joints are not amused.  Like many men in their 40s, my brain is writing checks that my cartilage can't cash.  Fortunately, I have my neighbors to egg me on, and while we talk sports and politics and neighborhood scuttlebutt, we are also forcing ourfellow men to dig at least as long as the other guy.  In Philadelphia snow-shoveling circles, this is what's known as spotting.
                      Of course it's not the same kind of spotting that people do in the gym.  Those phonies just stand there half-holding the bar and pretending they'll save the guy on the bench if he can'tlift that 300 pounds again.  In the snow-shoveling workout, spotting is real, and it consists of watching to see if the other guy gets tired before you do.  If he does, you spot him and give him the stare.  It's not quite the, "Why can't you do 80 inverted situps? stare from LA Fitness.  It's a phily stare --- one that says, "Man up, dude.  I'm 10 years older than youand my shoulders are on fire.   The least you can do is pretend you're not hurting, too."
                      That's how we do it here in Philly, where shoveling is a sacred bond.  Inour world men with shovels have got each other's backs.  We'd better, because our backs are gonna get us pretty soon.

A GIRL NAMED WINTERS SICK OF WINTER

by Kimberly Winters

                            My world is looking awfully white at the moment.
                            Snow days, late starts, unshoveled sidewalks and icy porches have become par for the course.  I'm up to my earmuffs in snow, and I just can't wait until spring melts away all these little annoyances.
                            Since that is still months away, however, I've decided to compile a little list of all the reasons that a girl named Winters can't stand this chilly season.

1. The cold   -  Obvious ?  Yes, but nevertheless intrusive and intensely frustrating.  Every outing involves a drawn-out process of preparing to facethe freezing temperatures. Slowly, I bundle on layers and layers of cloth, until I resemble a heap of clothing with blue eyes.  My time outside is fleeting, sitting around sounds ever more inviting, and all I want to do is eat and sleep.  In fact, for my recent lack of articles, I will happily blame cold-induced lethargy.
2. Chapped skin   -  Petty and miniscule as this gripe may seem, it is a very bothersome trait of the winter.  At this very moment, my lips are dry and irritated, and my knuckles are beginning to resemble a dragon's scales.  I am constantly plagued by these minr but persistent ailments.  While they are cured, or at least delayed, fairly easily, that does not appease me.  Mainly because I'm feeling rather lazy at the moment and don't care to fetch ChapStick.
3. Sickness   -  While I am fairly healthy, and rarely become sick, I am still plagued by all the little bugs and epidemics that occur at this time of year.  Everyone is sniffling and sneezing.  Many students are absent due to the various illnesses, and feverish teachers miserably teach lethargic students.  I myself am among the infected masses far too often for my tastes.
4. Short days    -  The fleeting daylight is nearly as frustrating as the cold weather.  After all, even if I manage to gather up the energy and motivation to brave the elements, I'm certainly not going to go out in the dark.  In the summer, I walk on a daily basis.  In the winter, it seems as if  I'm barely home from school before the sun has set and it's far too late for anything outdoors.  During the middle of winter, it feels as if the day is over by 5 o'clock.
5. Snow   -  My final complaint may seem rather hypocritical.  After all, this has given me free time and a welcome break from this hectic midterms month.  Still, that's pretty much the extent of the snow's gifts.  All these snow days are just being tacked on to my school year, slowly pushing back my summer vacation.  Not to mention the snow's irritating ability to limit travel, the reason for snow days in the first place.  After all, snow on a weekend can completely destroy that day's plans.  Most upsetting, many frail, lazy or just plain unthinking people refuse to shovel their sidewalks. This leaves me to make my way home through the white mounds on already-narrow streets.  I am all too often slipping and sliding my way through my neighborhoods and have becomeincreasingly paranoid over icy sidewalks.  There is, no doubt, another article in this.  However, I have neither the time, nor the inclinationto write it.  I blame the cold.

F. Y. I.

Quotable
by David Zucker, American film director, producer and screenwriter
"Quit now, you'll never make it.  If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there."

State  Stats
More turkeys are raised in California than in any other state in the United States.

Muscular  Build
The caterpillar has more than 2,000 muscles.

Still  on the Books
In Flordia, it is considered an offense to shower naked.

Table Tidbits
Female asparagus stalks are plumper than male stalks.

So Named
The ball on top of a flagpole is called a "Truck".

Braving the cold for taste of commando life

Over a thousand South Korean civilians braved sub-zero temperatures around the country to take part in boot camps run by a special commando unit, hoping to get into shape and improve their self-discipline.
The boot camps, which run for three days and have been held since 2003, are aimed at "educating" civilians about national security in a country that shares a heavily-armed border with North Korea, which in November shelled a South Korean island near their shared sea border, killing several civilians.
About 250 people, including some high school students, took part in the boot camp at Bucheon, just west of Seoul, one of six run around the country.
Instead of staying warm at home during their winter break, participants wearing camouflage dragged parachutes, underwent training in a tear-gas filled hut and took part in "flying fox" exercises from a wooden tower.
The cold was unforgiving, with temperatures hitting -10 C (14.00F) in Seoul and surrounding areas.
"It was very difficult from the beginning, my muscles ached and it hurt a lot," said 18-year-old Kim Myung-jin.
"But I trusted my trainers under the intense situations and sympathized with much of the soldiers' hard work."
South Korea has a mandatory conscription policy for men, who have to complete 24 months of military service between graduating from high school and turning 30.
The boot camps have been running since 2003 and 18,000 people have taken part. The oldest was a 49-year-old housewife, army officials said.
"The special commando's camp, which is an educational ground for national security for civilians, is a good motivation to feel the importance of the country," said Lieutenant Colonel Kim Jong-tak.
"After the training, we expect them to live life with hope and challenge themselves, rather than feeling abandoned and frustrated, while thinking about the camp slogan: 'Make the impossible possible.'"
Some participants said the training had in fact changed their outlook on life.
"Once I get out of here, I will be good to my mother. I will be good to my mother and father and willingly help them," said 15-year-old Woo Seung-yeon.

Huge parking fines inspired parking watch app

 Massive parking fines inspired one Australian man to create an iPhone app that lets users warn each other when parking officers are spotted lurking near their cars.
"The idea was pretty much born out of frustration," said Joseph Darling of "ParkPatrol," the app developed by his Sydney-based firm to help users avoid tickets that cost what he said was at least $82 Australian ($81) a shot -- and often more.
"I could show you a list of maybe 20 to 30 parking tickets that I had last year, in my town, just by being a normal driver. I must have spent thousands of dollars."
The final straw came when he was ticketed in his own neighborhood despite a parking permit that he pays hundreds of dollars for each year.
The app lets users "sign in" and report sightings of parking officers with a single push of a button. Cartoon faces wearing a police cap then appear plotted on a map of the area, along with a notice thanking them.
The app will also alert users if a parking officer is spotted in their area and how close. Notification options for 500 meters (1,640 ft), 200 meters and 100 meters are available.
The free app is available in English, German, Spanish, Portuguese and French. Roughly 80 percent of users are in Australia, but it is also used in England, Spain, France and Germany, Darling said.
"With an active community, it's pretty accurate. We reckon around 90 percent," he added.
Future versions, currently being finished, will include an alert function for when parking time has expired. The company is also finalizing an Android version.
Next on the drawing board? A similar app that allows women to report sightings of handsome men.

"Rubbish hotel" booked up for tourism fair

 Celebrating a tourism fair staged this week to promote Spain's biggest industry is a new hotel in central Madrid whose maker freely admits is rubbish.
German sculptor H.A. Shult used 12 tonnes of recycled junk to build the hotel in central Madrid's Callao Square and draw attention to the amount of flotsam spoiling Europe's beaches.
"We must know and we must understand that the oceans are the biggest garbage dumps of the world," Schult told Reuters.
His Corona Extra Save the Beach Hotel opened its doors on January 19 and operators say its five double rooms have been fully booked for the four days in which it will be taking guests.
"The world is a hotel and so as a parable, I show the world as a hotel, and this world we only have rented and we have to realize that we in this time fill up the whole world with garbage," Shult said outside the hotel.
Schult has been getting support from some pretty famous patrons, including Danish model Helena Christensen -- who has spent a night in the hotel -- French explorer Alexandra Cousteau and jewelry designer Jade Jagger.

In parliament, the ties have it

A left-wing member of German parliament disciplined for refusing to wear a neck-tie defended himself on Friday by saying most of his constituents don't wear ties either.
Andrej Hunko, an MP for the Left party, and Greens party MP Sven-Christian Kindler were relieved of their duties as recording secretaries after they ignored demands by parliament leaders to wear neckties while sitting on the president's dais.
"I'm a freely elected representative and don't represent the Bundestag," Hunko, who wears a blazer, told German radio. "It's an expression of hierarchy. I don't want to isolate myself from my voters. Most of them don't wear a neck-tie either."
MPs are not required to wear ties in parliament but they are obligated to wear them when they sit on the president's dais in front of parliament -- and can be seen on television.
The controversy came to a head on Thursday after another Left Party MP assigned to replace Hunko, Alexander Suessmair, strode to his post as a recording secretary without a tie.
Suessmair was quickly removed from the position next to parliament president Norbert Lammert. He was replaced by another Left party colleague Agnes Alpers. She wore a blazer and a red tie around her neck.
The sartorial debate started in December when secretaries' chairman Jens Koeppen of Chancellor Angela Merkel's conservative Christian Democrats sent a letter to deputies requiring men to wear a tie and jacket.

Dracula goes dry as new drink rules bite

Guests at the Istanbul premiere of a new vampire film were among the first victims of new curbs on alcohol that have raised secularist fears Islamic strictures may be encroaching on everyday life.
The rules, announced earlier this month by the tobacco and alcohol watchdog, tighten up license requirements for serving alcohol, impose restrictions on alcohol marketing and limits sales to designated areas in stores.
But the move has revived secularist accusations that Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan's government is interfering in people's lifestyles and imposing Islamic values.
The Ankara Bar Association -- part of a judiciary that has become a last bastion of Turkey's secularist old guard -- said it had lodged a challenge to the new regulations in the country's top administrative court.
"The aim of these regulations is not the public good, but to impose a new lifestyle on society," the Ankara Bar said in a court petition, obtained by Reuters.
The restrictions appeared to take hold at a comedy horror film loosely based around the Dracula story, "Sacred Demijohn Dracoola," which held its premiere on Wednesday evening.
The film's producer Senol Cengiz told Reuters the cinema had asked them not to serve alcohol for fear that they would be fined, and saw such measures further polarizing Turkish society.
"The government has promised more freedom and democracy but their actions have been signaling a contrary attitude," Cengiz said.
"It would be okay if we could believe these measures are really taken to protect kids, but it seems these are efforts to restrict lifestyles," he said.
"DRINK TILL THEY BURST"
Secularist opponents of the government have long accused it of seeking to undermine Turkey's secular principles and impose conservative values through a hidden Islamist agenda.
Such accusations draw an angry response from Erdogan, who denies any infringements on people's freedoms since his AK Party first came to power in 2002.
He retorted that "people drink as much as they want. They drink till they burst."
Liberal on economic issues and conservative on social policy matters, the AK is depicted by some members as a Muslim version of Europe's Christian Democrat parties.
Government officials have denied that the regulations are designed to limit freedoms but that they are to discourage irresponsible consumption.
State Minister Faruk Celik said the changes were aimed at harmonizing Turkey's regulatory framework with those of the European Union and protect the youth, and shouldn't be regarded as legislation driven by the ruling AK Party.
"Our goal is not to limit anyone's freedom," Celik told journalists late last week. "Our main purpose is to remedy the present situation, which has not been bound by any rules."
He said that with an election looming, opponents were trying to stigmatize the AK by raising fears of an Islamist agenda that doesn't exist.
The restrictions will also bring an end to sponsorship of sports teams by drinks companies. Among those affected will be the leading basketball team Efes Pilsen, sponsored by the drinks company Anadolu Efes.
There are concerns in the sector that the new rules will hit sales in Turkey, where alcohol consumption is well below levels elsewhere in Europe.
According to the most recent data from the OECD, per capita annual alcohol consumption in Turkey is 1.4 liters, compared with levels of around 10 liters in western Europe.

FUNERAL HOMES FIND NEW LIFE BY HOSTING OTHER EVENTS

Paulita and Tony Flores took their wedding vows in December in an elegant rotunda with marble floors amid glimmering chandeliers and a bubbling fountain.
It didn't bother them that a room down the hall showcased caskets and urns. Or that the building was surrounded by a large cemetery with 100,000 gravestones on 60 acres. Or that on other days, the facility hosts something a lot more somber funerals.
The Flores' wedding at the Community Life Center at Washington Park East Cemetery here illustrates a growing trend.
Across the USA, funeral homes are building and marketing such centers as not just a place to mourn the dead but as sites for events celebrating the living, including weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, holiday parties and proms.
IN MICHIGAN: Couple marries at funeral home
The lure? It is often less expensive; there is greater availability; and the settings inside and outside can be nothing short of wedding-picture perfect.
Flanner & Buchanan Funeral Centers opened the $10 million Community Life Center in 2001, but it had a slow start. As recently as 2009, it hosted just 10 weddings. Then Carla Fletcher took over as special events coordinator in March. The center now holds a dozen events each month and has nearly every Friday, Saturday and Sunday booked this year, including 99 weddings, as well as bookings that stretch into 2012, she says.
"The place wasn't being utilized because people had tunnel vision," says Fletcher, who also often plays the part of wedding planner for the couples. "They thought since it was a funeral home, they (couldn't) sell it. But I don't see a funeral home; I see an events center."
The idea of getting married in a funeral home wasn't much of a hurdle to overcome, says Paulita Flores, 21.
"At first, when I pulled up and saw it was a funeral home, it did concern me," she admitted. "But when we walked in and saw everything, it was overwhelming. I fell in love and thought it was the perfect place. It was breathtaking, so it (the funeral home aspect) didn't cross my mind again."
That is precisely what funeral homes searching to expand their business base amid increased competition are hoping for.
"Over the past five to six years, more and more funeral homes are offering the use of their facilities to the greater community, whether it's hosting a full-blown wedding reception or offering meeting space to an organized community group," says Emilee High of the Wisconsin-based National Funeral Directors Association.
In a 2010 association survey, almost 10% of the 627 funeral home owners who responded said they owned or offered a community or family center in addition to traditional funeral facilities.
A decade ago, when James Olson bought a funeral home in Sheboygan, Wis., he wanted to make his facility more available to the community. This year, he says, he plans to host his first wedding reception.
Olson, who is also a spokesman for the National Funeral Directors Association, says he has noticed more couples tying the knot in funeral homes, but not only because of changes in his industry.
"A lot of (traditional wedding facilities) are shutting down because of the economy, while we (funeral homes) aren't going anywhere," he says. "In our community, two banquet halls closed because of the economy."
Although people may think it morbid to start a marriage in a place surrounded by sadness, it would be no different than doing it at a church where both caskets and newlyweds occupy the aisles throughout the year, says Sue Totterdale, national chairwoman of the National Association of Wedding Professionals. "A banquet hall is a banquet hall, and a chapel is a chapel," she says. "If you can get past the driveway and the cemetery, it's going to be beautiful."
Still, the idea of exchanging vows at a funeral home or cemetery isn't for everyone.
Paulita Flores had originally planned on getting married in the Community Life Center's outdoor courtyard in September, which has a clear view of the cemetery, but was glad she moved the event indoors.
"I was worried that people who would come would be creeped out," she says. "I was worried that when taking pictures, it (the cemetery) would be in the background."
But if the proximity to gravestones is a drawback for some people, it can be a selling point for others says Keith Norwalk, president of Indianapolis' Crown Hill Funeral Home and Cemetery. "We had one situation where a young woman wanted to be married near her grandmother's grave," he says. "It was meaningful to the family."

R E A L I T Y

                            Good music is still out there.......if you know where to look.  We offer eight ways for adventurous young music fans (or out-of-touch old people) to discover new acts.
                             In a world where mainstream radio just doesn't quite cut it, what's a poor music lover to do?
                            Artists such as Ke$ha, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber seem to be absolutely everywhere these days, parading their lack of talent at top volume while accruing an astonishing number of fans.
                            The only explanation I've been able to come up with for this phenomena is that perhaps the mindless masses of those fans just don't know what else is out there.
                             I promise you, there is hope for our generation's music ... just not in the iTunes top 10.
                            As someone who can spend hours just surfing the oceans of good, undiscovered music out there, I've compiled a list of some of my favorite (and mostly free) ways to find new music in the hopes that maybe I can save just one person from the clutches of the mainstream craze.
                            So whether you're an old veteran when it comes to finding music or new to the scene, check some of these out.  You won't be disappointed.

• Pandora  -  Although already pretty widely known, Pandora Internet Radio is a fantastic way to discover music similar to what you already like.  Basically, you type in the name of a band or song you like, and then Pandora goes ahead and makes an entire station based on that band or song.  And if you want to try something different, you could always go to its pre-made genre stations.  (I recommend the indie stations -- they're all pretty good!)  Available online at http://www.pandora.com/  or as an app for the iPhone, Pandora is a steady favorite of mine for finding new music.
• iTunes   -  I know what you're thinking.  You'rewondering how you're ever going to discover anything new and cool on iTunes, where mainstream music would seem to reign supreme.  But there still are ways you can use iTunes to your advantage.   For instance, everyone knows the iTunes top 10.  It's on the mainpage of the site.  But when you go to the top 10's for specific genres, you can find music that you've never heard of before. I always find it fun to look into the top music in genres I don't really listen to and see what's out there.  Another thing iTunes offers that I find really cool are its essentials playlists. Going through some of those, you can find a lot of cool music in a multitude of genres.  That's actually how I started to get into techno... but that's not reallythe point.  The point is that iTunes can still be useful in the quest to discover new music.  Don't count it out just because it's overused.  (Yes, buying the songs on iTunes costs money, but sampling the songs is free. So if you find music you like, you can always hope you get an iTunes gift card as a present!)

NOT SO FAST ON CHANGING YOUR ZODIAC SIGN

                               After years of believing that I was a true Scorpio, I was utterly shocked and dismayed to find out that I was actually a Libra.
                               Investigating futher, I found out the cause of this sudden change in star sign.
                               Apparently, the gravitational pull of the moon on the Earth caused the world to change position in terms of its axis a few thousands years ago, thus changing how we perceive the stars.
                               After looking up my "new" sign's personality trait, I made a vow to find out if this news was correct or not.
                               Of course, after looking up an article on CNN, I found that the news was false.  According to this article, many people who live in America follow "Tropical Zodiac."  Tropical Zodiac focuses on the constellations' positions as they were before today.  "Sidereal Zodiac" is based on the position of the constellations today.
                               The zodiac has changed, yes, but only Sidereal --- the one that you probably haven't been following.
                               So there's no need to fret that you've gone from one personality to the complete oppisite in a matter of minutes.  Don't go researching your new zodiac, and stop checking if you and your crush are still compatible.
                              Not that you should be using the stars to figure THAT one out......  

A NEW YEARS' RESOLUTION:

                   DRINK  THE  WORLD!

Make 2011 the year you truly discover wine; leave your favorite wine variety in the wine rack and replace it with some new experiences.  Explore some of the truly great wines of the world before you go back to that wine rack.  Open your mind, your palate and break out into a new world; which in most cases will be the "old world," as in Europe.

For all the wine lovers out there who have not explored Europe may I suggest this "to do" list:
Northern Italy is a stop all wine lovers must make.  Let's review three regions:  Piedmont, Tuscany and Veneto.  The first, Piedmont, is where Barolo and Barbaresco are made from the Nebbiolo grape.  These big, robust wines mature after years of aging into complex, yet delicate wines with layers of flavors.  Wines produced from Angelo Gaja, Bruno Giacosa, and Giacomo Borgogno (I had his 1947 vintage a few years back - an experience of a lifetime) are wines to seek out.

Pinot Noir lovers must give Barara a try, another enjoyable wine from the region. Those wines produced from the towns of Alba and Asti are definitely on the "to do" list.  Another "must try" is Gavi, a white wine made from the Cortese grape.  This wine is bone dry with crisp acidity, layered with flint and minerals.

The next region, Tuscany, offers many more varieties than its famed Chianti.  Take time to experience other wines from the Sangiovese grape: Brunello di Montalcino, Vino Nobile di Montepulciano, and Rosso di Montepulciano.

Brunello is a full-bodied and earthy wine - mushrooms on the nose, and red berries on the palate, are classic characteristics, along with a deep, rich texture.  It is vinified to be conducive to long periods of bottle aging.  Look for these producers: II Poggione, Banfi and Biondi Santi.  Brunello will hold its own with any great wine.

Rosso di Montepulciano is the little brother of Brunello.  This wine is an easier-drinking, fresher and fruitier version of Vino Nobile, yet shorter-lived.  Its medium body and aromas of violets are traits that mirror its bigger brother.  Vino Nobile is very well rounded on the palate with strong fruit supported by satiny tannins.  An extremely lush wine, it has a pleasant, long lasting finish.

A white wine from the region is Vernaccia di San Gimignano, made from the Trebbiano grape.  This wine is powerful and full-bodied, with a rich, heady bouquet and a crisp clean taste that lingers long on the palate.  It's golden-hued and both warms and inspires.  There are three kinds of Vernaccia.  One is Tradizionale, made with extended maceration of the skins to draw the most from the grapes.  Fiore, from free-run must, is the reverse of Tradizionale.  It's a delicate wine that is much lighter on the palate, and subtly flavored.  Finally, Carato, which is barrel-fermented; the wood tannins from the barrels give the wine a more international character, with hints of vanilla on the nose, and added body and complexity on the palate.

Lastly is the Veneto region where Valpolicella provides a tasting experience that will delight the senses.  The town is situated north of Verona and west of Venice.  This little community delivers three juicy red wines: Amarone, Ripasso della Valpolicella and Recioto dellaValpolicella.  Amarone is a very ripe, raisiny, full-bodied wine with very little acid.  Alcohol content easily surpasses 15%.  The wine is rarely released until five years after the vintage; quality producers are Masi, Boscaini, and Alighieri.

Ripasso della Valpolicella is made by allowing Valpolicella wine to soak over the leftover grape skins and seeds from the production of Amarone.  This extended maceration helps boost the alchol level and tannin of the wine while also contributing to its complexity, flavor and color.  Recioto della Valpolicella is made from grapes on the shoulders of the grape bunches.  The ripest of the bunch, this wine has a richness that is packed full of flavor.  The wine is medium-bodied with a beautiful, crushed velvet texture and a palate brimming with vivid, seductive black fruit and chocolate.

A wonderful white from the region is Recioto di Soave Superiore from the little town of Soave.  The wine is yellow-gold in color with a compex aroma reminiscent of acacia honey with a floweru scent and a well-balanced, full-bodied and velvety bouquet.  It is best served with Pandoro from Verona and all sorts of biscuits and dry pastries.  It is also very good served with ripe cheese.

A TRUE LOVE STORY

 >  This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
 >  When she went before the judge in Florida asked her,
      "What did you steal?"
 >  She replied, 'A can of peaches.'
 >  The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of
      peaches.
 >  And she replied that she was hungry.
 >  The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the
      can.
 >  She replied, "6".
 >  The judge said, 'Then I will give you 6 days in jail.'
 >  Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment,
     the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he
     could say something.
 >  The judge said, 'What is it?'
 >  The husband said, "She stole a can of peas too."

F. Y. I.

Musical  Males
Only full-grown male crickets can chirp.

Famous  Firsts
In 1878, Wanamaker's of Philadelphia was the first U.S. department store to install electric lighting.

Quotable
by  reese witherspoon, actress
"Many people worry so much about managing their careers, but rarely spend half that much energy managing their lives.  I want to make my life, not just my job, the best it can be."

No  Kidding!
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were not permitted to dance together in public, according to their movie contracts.

Did You Know?
A cat's jaw can't move sideways.

IS RIDING A HORSE WHILE DRUNK LEGAL IN MONTANA ?

A Montana Department of Transportation public safety video that features a horse picking up a rider at a bar is intended as a metaphor to encourage drinkers to get a ride home.
But it is being taken literally by some in a state well known for its horse culture.
Helena Police Chief Troy McGee says he's received many calls from residents wanting to know if riding a horse while under the influence is legal. McGee tells the Independent Record newspaper that it is.
Montana law carefully defines a vehicle, and excludes those running under animal power.
The popular 30-second video titled Sober Friend shows a savvy horse carefully obeying traffic laws on a nighttime journey through town before stopping in front of a bar to pick up a rider.

Monk caught with nun's skeleton at airport

 A Cypriot monk caught at a Greek airport with the skeletal remains of a nun in his baggage on the weekend told authorities he was taking the relics of a saint back to his monastery.
The 56-year-old Cypriot was detained at Athens airport on Sunday after security staff discovered a skull wrapped in cloth and skeletal remains in a sheet inside his baggage.
"They maintained it was a woman who was a saint," a Greek police official who declined to be named told Reuters on Tuesday, adding that the monk told authorities he was transferring her remains to a monastery in Cyprus.
The remains were those of a nun who died four years ago. She was not a saint in the Greek or Cypriot Orthodox Churches, but had once been a nun at a Cypriot convent, police said.
Revering the skeletal remains of saints is common in the Greek Orthodox tradition. A sect within the church may have venerated the nun even though she was not an official saint.
In many churches, venerated relics are put on display for the faithful to touch or kiss and a box for collecting donations from the faithful placed nearby.
"It appears to be the work of charlatans with a financial interest that is what I suspect," Cyprus's Archbishop Chrysostomos told journalists on Tuesday when asked about the monk's tale.
The monk was freed after being charged with theft and desecrating the dead, a misdemeanor in Greece. He was also suspended from his monastic duties for three months for going away without leave, Cypriot police said.

Office affair? Declare it in writing, says UK boss

 A local authority in Britain was accused by union bosses on Tuesday of planning an "Orwellian dictat" by compelling staff to write to their manager to reveal any office romance they had with a co-worker.
The proposal is contained in a draft policy on relationships at work produced by human resources officials at Fenland District Council, which covers a rural area in central England north of Cambridge.
"Any employee who embarks on a close personal relationship with a colleague working in the same team must declare the relationship to his/her manager in writing," the document said, adding the details would go on the employees' personal files.
Furthermore, the policy warns that "intimate behavior during work time is not acceptable."
"This applies during all working time (not flexed off time), both on and off Council sites," the document added. "Any breach of this could be regarded as a disciplinary offence ... leading to disciplinary action."
The Trades Union Congress, Britain's union umbrella body, condemned the proposal, saying workers should not have to disclose details about their private lives outside office time, which their bosses probably did not want to know about either.
"It's quite common for relationships to start in the office, but having to declare your feelings via the HR department is hardly the most romantic way to make a move," said Sarah Veale, TUC Head of Employment Rights.
"Whilst it's important for employers to tackle inappropriate behavior at work, laying down Orwellian dictats about people's personal lives will simply generate resentment among staff."
The draft policy is due to be discussed by councilors later this month.

Three in 10 Americans commit financial infidelity?

 Three in 10 Americans commit "financial infidelity" by lying to their spouses about money, sometimes suffering consequences such as separation or divorce, according to a new survey.
The Harris Interactive online poll of 2,019 adults released on Thursday showed 31 percent of American couples who have combined finances were not truthful about issues such as hiding cash or a bank account or about debt or earnings.
"Financial infidelity may be the new normal," said Forbes.com, which commissioned the survey with the National Endowment for Financial Education.
One-third of respondents also say they have been deceived, and both sexes lie to their partners about money in equal numbers.
"These indiscretions cause significant damage to the relationship," said Ted Beck, chief executive of the National Endowment for Financial Education.
Sixteen percent of couples affected by financial infidelity said the deception led to a divorce and 11 percent said it caused a separation. Sixty-seven percent said it led to an argument and for 42 percent it lessened trust in the relationship.
The most common lie, at 58 percent, was hiding cash. Fifty-four percent of respondents admitted hiding a minor purchase, 30 percent hid a bill, 16 percent did not disclose a major purchase and 15 percent hid a bank account.
Eleven percent lied about debt and an equal number were untruthful about earnings, the survey showed.

Police use Facebook for car crash witnesses

 Internet-savvy police in Paris have started using social networks such as Facebook to appeal for witnesses to traffic accidents in a move some residents say smacks of Big Brother-style spying tactics.
Since January 1, Internet users connecting to the Paris police force's Twitter or Facebook page have been invited to provide information to help solve hit-and-run cases that have occurred in the notoriously crash-prone city and its suburbs.
A link directs users to the city police's main website, where they can find details of incidents, including dates, times and circumstances and a map of the location.
"These appeals for witnesses are an important element in solving crimes. Someone could easily have seen something and only remember it later," Xavier Castaing, head of communications for the Paris police, told Reuters.
Paris police are not the only force to turn to social media to try and crack difficult crimes. Detectives in Britain recently launched a Facebook campaign appealing for help catching the killer of landscape architect Joanna Yeates.
Castaing did not say whether online witness statements were already helping hit-and-run cases, and some members of the public complained on news websites that the initiative will encourage people to snitch on others.
"People will just use it to report their neighbors, to get back at them or harass them," was one irate comment posted on news website Le Post.
"It's really dangerous, we're getting into a system that can rapidly spiral out of control. The walls have ears," said another comment on the website of L'Express.
Castaing brushed off the idea the initiative could be regarded as spying.
"This kind of accident could happen to any of us, and for ideas of road safety to progress we need people to face up to their responsibilities," he said.
He said it was too early to say whether the initiative would be a success, but he hoped users connecting to the police Twitter or Facebook sites would spread the word.
For the time being, the Paris police Facebook page has some 700 "friends," or cyber acquaintances, more than the average web user, but still a limited network for crime-solving.

FLYING DRUNK PROVES FATAL FOR BIRD FLOCK

There was nothing mysterious about the death of a flock of birds in Romania last week -- they were simply drunk, veterinarians said.
Residents of the Black Sea city of Constanta alerted authorities on Saturday after they found dozens of dead starlings, fearing they may have been infected with bird flu, which triggered mass deaths in avian populations in 2004-2006.
"Tests on five birds showed gizzards full of grape marc which caused their death," Romeu Lazar, head of the city's veterinary authority told Reuters, referring to a pulpy residue which is a by-product of winemaking.
"This also applies to two dead crows we tested," Lazar said. Birds are not used to alcohol but harsh winter and snow had prevented birds from finding food. Had they been able to eat some seeds, this would have diluted the poison."
The grape marc was presumed to have come from a winery, but the veterinary chief said he did not know where.
There have been a series of unexplained mass bird deaths in several countries across the globe in the last few weeks, including in the United States and Sweden.
Hundreds of dead birds were discovered in Louisiana this month and 5,000 in Arkansas at New Year. Swedish authorities have also been investigating the deaths of 100 jackdaws found in a street in Falkoping. Experts say storms, hail, lightning or collisions with airplanes or power lines are among the possible causes of bird deaths.

HUMOR

Valentine's Daze
One morning I found a beautiful long-stemmed rose lying by the kitchen sink.  Even though the flower was plastic, I was thinking how, after all the years we had been married, my husband could still make such a wonderful romantic gesture.  Then I noticed a love note lying next to it, "Dear Susie," it read.  "Don't touch the rose, I'm using the stem to unclog the drain."

Mirror Image
My company sent me to Louisville, Kentucky, for training and put me up in a nice hotel downtown.  I got up in the middle of the night and did not turn on the light or put on my glasses, I ran into this huge man.  He hollered.  I hollered.  I was standing in front of a large mirror!

Sherlock Sleuth
Dr. Waston: "Amazing, Holmes.  How were you ever able to deduce that Dr. Scalpel killed the old-maid schoolteacher by blocking her elementary canal?" 
Sherlock Holmes: "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

Secret to a Long Marriage
St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto has weekly husband's marriage seminars.  At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to share insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.  Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, "I've tried to treat her nice, spent money on her, but best of all, I took her to Italy for our 25th anniversary!"  "Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!" the priest responded.  "What are you planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?"  Giuseppe proudly replied, "I'm going to go pick her up."

Following Orders
A policeman stopped a man driving down the street.  When he looked in the backseat, he saw 10 penguins.  "Sir, you need to take those birds to the zoo," the cop directed.  "Yes sir," said the driver.  The next day, the cop stopped the same car and found the same penguins in the backseat.  "I told you to take the penguins to the zoo," the cop said.  "I did sir," the driver replied.  "They liked it so much that today I am taking them to the movies."

Tug of War
I noticed more and more gray hairs, so I thought I would pull them out before they became too plentiful.  While standing in front of the mirror doing just that, my husband came by and asked what I was doing.  "I am pulling the gray hairs out so my hair wll be all one color," I said.  A moment later, he replied, "Don't you think it would go faster if you pulled out the brown ones?"

And So It Goes...
Life begins at 40, and so do fallen arches, arthritis, bad eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person three or four times.

A VALENTINE'S DAY POEM TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

My darling, whenever I look in your eyes.
You transport me to some magic place,
For the width of those lovely and wonderful eyes
Is three-tenths of the width of your face.

When I gaze on the wondrous features I love,
You can't know how much rapture I'm in,
When I realize that one-fifth the height of that face
Is exactly the lenght of your chin.

Those eyes, so hypnotic, they're like a narcotic,
A window to infinite space.
With a Clout like a highball, your visible eyeball
Is one-fourteenth the height of your face.

And your nose, I suppose, may be shaped like a rose.
With what else could I ever compare ya?
When my tape measure shows your cute little nose
Is but five percent of your facial area.

You make my life complete with your kisses so sweet.
You excite me, my love, like the devil.
With your mouth I'm content, for it's fifty percent
Of the width of your face, at mouth level.

I do believe you are a nine,
Won't you be my valentine?

NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF

                         PERSISTENCE

• Talent will not;  nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
• Genius will not;  unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
• Education will not;  the world is full of educated derelicts.
• Persistence and Determination alone are omnipotent.  The slogan "Press On," has solved and always will solve the problemsof the human race.

F. Y. I.

Quotable
by  Jonathan Swift, Irish poet, cleric and satrist (1667-1745)
"Vision is the art of seeing the invisible".

Film  Files
Jodie Foster had to undergo psychiatric evaluation by the California Labor Board before filming the role of Iris, the teen prostitute in the 1976 film "Taxi Driver", to see whether , as a minor, she was capable of handling the controversial role.

Family Ties
The chicken is the closest living relative of Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Name Change
Kiwis were once known as Chinese gooseberries.

Did You Know ?
One hundred percent recyclable, old newspapers are great for washing windows.

Still on the Books
In Nebraska, it is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

THIS MONTH IN HISTORY

                    DECEMBER

• Dec. 1 :  Sherlock Holmes appeared for the first time in print in "A Study in Scarlet." (1887)
• Dec. 2 :  Barney B. Clark receives the world's first artificial heart transplant.  (1982)
• Dec. 7 :  Martin Van Buren becomes the eight President of the United States, and the first             president to be born in this country.
• Dec. 7 :  Thomas Edison exhibited the phonograph in 1877.
• Dec. 13 : The Clip-on tie is created. (1928)
• Dec. 15 : Sioux Chief Sitting Bull was killed by Indian police. (1890)
• Dec. 15 : "Gone With the Wind" premiered in Atlanta, Georgia. (1939)
• Dec. 16 : Boston residents protesting British taxation threw tea overboard on a British ship.  The Boston Tea Party was the begining of the American fight for independence.
• Dec. 17 : The Wright Brothers made their first airplane flight at Kitty Hawk, N.C.  (1903)
• Dec. 19 : Charles Dickens published "A Christmas Carol".  (1843)
• Dec. 21 : "Snow White" premiered at theaters.  (1937)
• Dec. 24 : Franz Joseph Gruber composed "Silent Night".  (1818)
• Dec. 26 : James Mason invents the coffee percolator.  (1865)
• Dec. 27 : Radio City Music Hall in New York City opens.  (1932)
• Dec. 28 : William F. Semple patented chewing gum.  (1869)
• Dec. 30 : Edwin Hubble announces the existence of other galactic systems. (1924)  Yes, the Hubble telescope was later named after him.

WHAT ABOUT NEW YEAR'S ?

• On New Year's Eve,  the old year ends with people mixing drinks,  and the new year begins with drinks mixing people.
• The best thing to give up in a New Year's resolution is to give up giving up.
• Many a man who celebrates the arrival of the new year should celebrate instead the survival of the old.
• New Year's resolutions should be taken with a grain of salt -- and two aspirins.
• One swallow doesn't make a summer,  but it often breaks a New Year's resolution!

HOROSCOPE FANS WANT TO KEEP THEIR SIGNS

Sofia Whitcombe began her day with the startling realization that she might not be exactly who she thought she was.
"My whole life, I thought I was a Capricorn," the 25-year-old publicist said. "Now I'm a Sagittarius? I don't feel like a Sagittarius!" It felt, she said, like a rug had been pulled from under her feet.
"Will my personality change?" she mused. "Capricorns are diligent and regimented, and super-hard-working like me. Sagittarians are more laid back. This is all a little off-putting."
Countless people reacted on social networks Friday to the "news" that the stars have shifted alignment, astrologically speaking. No matter that the astronomy instructor who started it all in a weekend newspaper interview said it was an old story very old; 2,000 years old, actually and that astrologists were insisting it wouldn't change a thing. The story had traveled around the blogosphere like, well, a shooting star.
Some people seemed angry. "I believe it's a zodiac scam," said Jose Arce, a 38-year-old from Fort Lee, N.J., who runs a body shop. "I've known myself to be a Sagittarius, I believe, since I was born. So to come up now with some new sign? It's unacceptable!"
But others weren't so ready to curse the stars. Kathy Torpey always felt like she was "a Scorpio trapped in a Sagittarian body" emotional and creative, she said, more than competitive and intellectual like Sagittarians.
So on Friday, even though she pays little heed to horoscopes, Torpey said she was thrilled to discover that she may have always been a Scorpio, after all.
"You have no idea what relief and joy I felt after hearing the wonderful news of the zodiac changes," wrote the 43-year-old mother of two from Willow Grove, Pa., in an e-mail, tongue-in-cheek to be sure. "Up until now, I felt like my whole life has been a lie!"
Astrologers across the country reported a wave of calls, e-mails or website hits from concerned clients. "People are more attached and loyal to their signs than they thought," said Eric Francis, editor of PlanetWaves.net, who said he had had 25,000 hits on his site since midnight. "It's interesting how many people are panicking their sign is wrong."
Astounded by all the kerfuffle was the man who started it, astronomy instructor Parke Kunkle.
In an interview Sunday in the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, Kunkle had explained that the Earth's wobbly orbit means it's no longer aligned to the stars in the same way as when the signs of the zodiac were first conceived, about 5,000 years ago. That means, Kunkle said, that when astrologers say the sun is in Pisces, it's really in Aquarius, and so on.
"Astronomers have known about this since about 130 B.C.," Kunkle told The Associated Press Friday in his office at the Minneapolis Community and Technical College, his phone ringing constantly, as it had since the article came out. (One person had even demanded: "Give me my sign back.")
"This is not new news. Almost every astronomy class talks about it."
New news or old, most people had never heard it before. And one of the more fascinating elements of the story was talk of a new sign altogether.
By the reckoning of Kunkle and other astronomers, astrologers are not only a month off in their zodiac signs, but they are neglecting a 13th constellation, Ophiuchus (Ooh-FEE-yew-kus) the Serpent Bearer, for those born from Nov. 30 to Dec. 17.
According to myth, Ophiuchus became a healer when he killed a snake and another appeared with an herb in his mouth that revived the dead one, said Amy Sayle, an astronomy educator at the Moorehead Planetarium at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.
Mary-Iris Taylor, a writer in St. Louis, had seen the story of Kunkle's zodiac on TV, but on Friday, she read a link a friend had posted on Facebook and realized she was an Ophiuchus.
And what, she wondered, did that mean?
"I'd just like to know what I'm supposed to be like now," she said. "As a Sagittarius, I was supposed to be the life of the party at least, that's what I wanted it to mean," she laughed. "Now what?"
According to many astrologists, she shouldn't worry.
Linda Zlotnick, an astrologer for 32 years in St. Paul, said she and fellow astrologers have long known of the issue raised by Kunkle, but that the most commonly used zodiac tropical isn't affected by it. Zlotnick said the sidereal zodiac, which isn't as widely used, IS based on the constellations.
Other astrologers expressed resentment that the brouhaha had been launched by an astronomer.
While astronomy is a science, astrology is not recognized as having any scientific basis. "This is an attempt to show ignorance on the part of astrologers," said Jim Sher, who runs an astrological institute in Los Angeles.
"We do know about this," he said of the planetary wobble. Added Craig Martin, another Los Angeles astrologer: "It's unlikely the astrology community is going to accept what an astronomer is trying to put on them."
A spokeswoman for the American Federation of Astrologers, Shelley Ackerman, said she'd been swamped with e-mails from worried clients. She advises them not to overreact.
"This doesn't change your chart at all. I'm not about to use it," she said. "Every few years a story like this comes out and scares the living daylights out of everyone, but it'll go away as quickly as it came."
That should make one demographic pretty happy people who have zodiac tattoos.
Sam Bielinski, who owns Atomic Tattoos in Milwaukee, estimated that one in five customers asks for a zodiac tattoo, making the art among the most popular requests.
"I think most people are going to brush it off," he said of the new zodiac.
In that camp, for now, is Heather McGowan, a student from Winnipeg, who's had a red Aries symbol in a black maple leaf tattooed between her shoulders since she was 19.
"Go figure seven years later there's a possibility that I am no longer an Aries," quipped McGowan, 26, though she said she remains unconvinced and hasn't considered getting rid of the tattoo.
One astrology follower said that in her native India the reaction may be stronger because astrology holds more importance there. Shirrin Kumana said her Indian friends, chatting on Facebook, had mixed emotions.
There was skepticism and perhaps a little entrepreneurial practicality at a spiritual bookstore on Philadelphia's South Street, Garland of Letters. Owner Candace Smith said she thought all the discussion over astrological signs would probably be good for business.
"Isn't it bizarre?" said Smith, who doesn't give out her sign. "I can't wait to talk to my astrologer. He must be going crazy."

CHANGE IN EARTH'S ROTATION MAY MEAN NEW ZODIAC SIGN FOR YOU, OPHIUCHUS

                    For those of you who read a horoscope every day, you may want to recheck what your Zodiac sign is.
                   According to astronomers with the Minnesota Planetarium Society, the moon's gravitational pull on the Earth has caused the alignment of the stars to be pushed by about a month.
                   Because of this, the Zodiac a birthdate may have been corresponded to before, may have changed.
                   So how does this affect your Zodiac sign ?  Here is where they should now fall, according to the society:
             New  Zodiac                                     Former  Zodiac
Capricorn:Jan. 20  -- Feb. 16            Capricorn:Dec. 22 --  Jan.19
Aquarius:  Feb. 16 -- March 11         Aquarius:  Jan.20  --  Feb. 19
Pisces:     March 11 -- April 18         Pisces :     Feb. 20 -- March 20
Aries:        April 18  -- May 13          Aries :     March 21-- April 19
Taurus :    May 13  -- June 21            Taurus :   April 20 --May 20
Gemini:     June 21  --  July 20           Gemini :   May 21 -- June 20
Cancer:     July 20  --  Aug. 10           Cancer :   June 21 -- July 22
Leo :         Aug. 10  -- Sept. 16           Leo :       July 23 -- Aug. 22
Virgo:       Sept. 16  -- Oct. 30            Virgo :    Aug. 23 -- Sept. 22
Libra:       Oct. 30  -- Nov. 23             Libra :    Sept. 23 -- Oct. 23
Scorpio:    Nov. 23 - 29                      Scorpio :  Oct. 23 -- Nov. 22
Ophiuchus:  Nov. 29 -- Dec. 17      * Ophiuchus is tecnically the 13th
Sagittarius: Dec.17 -- Jan.20          but was cut so there would be
                                                        12 equal divisions of the sky.
                                                      Sagittarius : Nov. 23--Dec. 21
 
                For those born between Nov. 29 to Dec. 17, note that your Zodiac sign is Ophiuchus.
               Ophiuchus, or the snake holder, was ejected from the charts when the Zodiac was codified at the 12 we know of  today, to align it more accurately with the calendar, according to Parke Kunkle, a board member of the society, told the Minnesota Star Tribune.
                But with the realignment of the stars, those who would have been Sagittarius and Capricorns, could now be a Ophiuchus.  According to the Skywatcher's Pronunciation Guide website, Ophiuchus is pronounced : Off -ee-Yoo-kuss. 

CREDIT PROTECTION: BOUNCER'S CARDS STOP KNIFE BLOWS

 A wallet stuffed with 20 plastic cards and a stroke of luck saved a pub doorman in western Germany from serious injury during a knife attack.
A customer ejected from the pub in the city of Witten on Sunday stabbed its 31-year-old doorman four times in the chest with a knife, police said. But a fat wallet in the bouncer's breast pocket stopped the blade from piercing his body.
"The wallet and cards acted as a protective vest and prevented a more serious incident," chief inspector Volker Schuette told Reuters without naming the bouncer or attacker.
"Everyone at the police station checked their wallets and no one had 20 plastic cards," he said, adding that the doorman's wallet had a plethora of cards for video rental stores along with credit and bank cards.
Schuette said that a wallet with fewer cards in it would not have been enough protection against the attack and that lady luck had also been smiling on the doorman that day.
"He said that he usually doesn't carry his wallet with him when he works."

TRAPPED BURGLARS CALL POLICE FOR HELP

 Two would-be thieves called in their own crime to police in Germany after they could not escape from a broken-down elevator over the weekend, police said in a statement.
"This sounds really dumb," one of the thieves told police in Cologne over the elevator's emergency phone, "But I'm afraid that we wanted to break in and the elevator has gotten stuck."
When police arrived they found the two thieves aged 31 and 37 stuck in the elevator of an office building.
The thieves allegedly broke into the building and were attempting to reach a higher floor when the elevator became stuck, the police said.
They decided to phone for help when one thief injured his hand attempting to pry open the door.
Firemen eventually freed the men and they were arrested.

FOX SHOOTS MAN

 A wounded fox shot its would be killer in Belarus by pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun as the pair scuffled after the man tried to finish the animal off with the butt of the rifle, media said Thursday.
The unnamed hunter, who had approached the fox after wounding it from a distance, was in hospital with a leg wound, while the fox made its escape, media said, citing prosecutors from the Grodno region.
"The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw," one prosecutor was quoted as saying.
Fox-hunting is popular in the picturesque farming region of northwestern Belarus which borders Poland.

U.S. BABY GIRL BORN AT 1:11 A.M. ON 1/11/2011

It's one for the record books. A lot of ones, that is.
A Minnesota woman gave birth at exactly 1:11 a.m. on Tuesday Jan. 11, 2011.
That's 1-11-2011.
Amy Zeller and Codjo Mensah welcomed their daughter, Flora Mensah, at United Hospital in St. Paul.
Zeller told KARE-TV that they were watching the clock and the baby was born at exactly the right moment.
The baby and mother are doing well.

IDAHO WOMAN HAS 1/11/11 BABY AT 11:11 A.M.

Tyler Ashton Marx's lucky number is going to be one, or 11, or maybe both.
The son of Jared and Leslie Marx was born at 11:11 a.m. on Jan. 11, 2011, at St. Luke's Meridian Medical Center in Meridian, Idaho.
Jared Marx is serving in Iraq and watched his son's birth over the Internet.
Leslie Marx tells KTVB-TV that Tyler was born just as the clock switched to 11:11 a.m.
But Tyler Marx isn't the only one in the family with a memorable birthday. His older sister was born on Sept. 9, 2009 9/9/09.
A Minnesota couple's daughter was born Tuesday with one less one. Amy Zeller and Codjo Mensah welcomed Flora Mensah to the world at 1:11 a.m.

Homeless man finds success with "golden voice"

 He's not quite Susan Boyle.
But one of America's first viral videos of 2011 has propelled a homeless man, who was filmed begging for money with a baritone-rich radio voice, to national attention and job offers.
Ted Williams, a 53 year-old former radio announcer who became homeless after battling drugs and alcohol, attracted millions of YouTube hits after The Columbus Dispatch newspaper posted a video on Monday of Williams begging on the side of a road in Columbus, Ohio, using his radio emcee imitations.(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou_XuEEGQA8&feature=related)
By Thursday, Williams appeared on morning news programs including "The Today Show" to talk about new voice-over job offers with the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team and foodmaker Kraft and his stunning instant rise from begging on the streets.
"I feel like Susan Boyle," Williams, 53, said in The Columbus Dispatch, "Or Justin Bieber."
Boyle, of course, is the British woman whose strong voice was discovered on a TV talent show, and Canadian Bieber has become one of North America's biggest pop stars after getting his start by posting his own videos on YouTube.
On Thursday, Williams told 'Today' he was astounded by the attention. "Outrageous, it's just phenomenal. There is no way in the world that I could ever have imagined ... all of this," he said.
He recounted his days working as a radio DJ in the 1980s before battling drugs and alcohol, drinking as much as a full bottle of liquor a day. By 1993, he found himself in homeless shelters and even served time in prison.
Later on Thursday, he tearfully reunited with his elderly mother in New York in front of several news crews, which was delayed because of wrangling between television networks, according to the Dispatch.
He told 'Today' he became known among drivers in Columbus who would drive by just to hear his golden voice and upbeat greeting while advertising his "God-given gift of voice" when panhandling.
But now, with job offers pouring in, he said he hoped five years on he could become a radio program director and support his daughters and sons in Columbus.
The lesson on treating the homeless, he said, was simple: "Don't judge a book by its cover, everybody has their own little story."

Could the days of the British "pint" be numbered?

British pubgoers could soon ditch their traditional pint in favor of a "schooner," a smaller measure of beer used in Australia, under government changes announced on Tuesday.
At the moment, pubs and restaurants are limited to selling alcoholic drinks in certain measures, but the government wants to introduce a new range in response to changing trade practices and consumer tastes.
Instead of choosing between halves or pints, drinkers would also have the option of a schooner, the equivalent of two-thirds of a pint. Wine glasses would also see a change.
"We have listened to consumers and businesses. They have called for fixed quantities to be kept but with greater flexibility. That is what this change will deliver," Science minister David Willetts said in a statement.
"We are freeing businesses so they can innovate and create new products to meet the demands of their customers."
Under the proposed change, a glass of wine could be sold in measures under 75ml, much lower than the current limit of 125ml.
The Daily Mail newspaper said the new pint rule, which also applies to cider and lager, represents one of the most radical changes since the pint was introduced by an Act of Parliament in 1698.

WILLPOWER FADING ? TRY CLENCHING YOUR MUSCLES

Clenching your muscles may help boost your willpower to achieve certain goals or resist temptations such as unhealthy desserts, a new study suggests.
The study included volunteers who were faced with a number of self-control challenges, such as submerging their hands in an ice bucket, consuming a healthy but foul-tasting vinegar drink, deciding whether to view disturbing information about Haiti earthquake victims and donate money, or making food choices.
"Participants who were instructed to tighten their muscles, regardless of which muscles they tightened hand, finger, calf or biceps while trying to exert self-control demonstrated greater ability to withstand the pain, consume the unpleasant medicine, attend to the immediately disturbing but essential information, or overcome tempting foods," wrote Iris W. Hung, of the National University of Singapore, and Aparna A. Labroo, of the University of Chicago.
However, muscle clenching only helped when the choice matched the participants' goals (such as a healthy lifestyle) and only helped at the moment when they faced the self-control dilemma, the study authors found.
The study findings were released online in advance of publication in an upcoming print issue of the Journal of Consumer Research.
"The mind and the body are so closely tied together (that) merely clenching muscles can also activate willpower," the researchers concluded. "Thus simply engaging in these bodily actions, which often result from an exertion of willpower, can serve as a non-conscious source to recruit willpower, facilitate self-control, and improve consumer well being."

ILLINOIS COUPLE HAVE 1 TWIN IN 2010, OTHER IN 2011

A Machesney Park couple welcomed a daughter in the last minutes of 2010 and a twin son in the first minutes of 2011.
The Rockford Register Star reports that Brandon Lewis and Ashley Fansler had baby girl Madisen Carin Lewis at 11:59 p.m. Friday at Rockford Memorial Hospital. Baby son Aiden Everette Lewis was born a minute later, at 12 a.m. on Saturday, New Year's Day.
The newspaper reports Fansler wasn't due until the end of January but doctors scheduled a cesarean section for Friday evening to avoid complications.
Father Brandon Lewis says one of the doctors was counting the minutes down before the births. Lewis says it was "definitely the best" New Year's countdown he's had.

F. Y. I.

On Average
The average person in America eats 33 pounds of bananas a year.

Quotable
by Jimi Hendrix, American guitarist and singer-songwriter (!942-1970)
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will finally know peace."

Word Wonders
The techinical term for goose bumps or goose flesh is horripilation.

Live Wire
The Pentagon building in Arlington,Va., has nearly 68,000 miles of telephone lines.

Flying Feline
The average cat can jump five times as high as its tail is long.

Still on the Books
In Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

HISTORY ABOUT TASTYKAKE BAKING COMPANY

• 1914:  Company is founded in Philadelphia by Pittsburg baker Phillip J. Baur and Boston egg salesman Herbert Morris.  Sales for that year: $300,000.   
• The first Tastykake wagon was horse-drawn, and the last horse retired in 1941.
• An electric truck, used in the 1920s ans 1930s.
• 1930:  Company occupies five buildings and has sales of $6 million.
• 1930s:  The individual lunchbox-size TastyPie is introduced.
• 1951:  Baur dies, and Paul Kaiser joins the company, later becoming its president.
• 1957:  A $2.5 million automated packaging line is completed.
• 1959:  Nelson G. Harris joins the company, later leaving , then rejoining the company in 1981 as   CEO
• 1960:  Morris dies.
• 1961:  Tasty has its initial public offering of stock.
• 1964:  Sales reach $40 million.
• 1979:  The company posts its first annual loss, $2.26 per share.
• 2002:  Charles P. Pizzi becomes president and CEO.
• 2009:  Tasty leaves its longtime headquarters on Hunting Park Avenue and moves to the Navy Yard in South Philadelphia.
• 2009:  The company posts a loss of $3.4 million.

TOP TEXTING RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011

                        New Year's resolutions come in all forms.  Some may involve money or grades, while others affect different aspects of behavior, such as being more positive or becoming more helpful.
                        Recently, a new type of resolution has taken center stage: texting resolutions.
                        For 2011, many teens would like to change the way they text.  The social messaging app textPlus recently surveyed 775 teens ages 13 through 17 to find out what resolutions involving texting they'd be willing to make.
                        According to the survey, "32 percent said they'd attempt to use correct spelling in their messages," "45 percent said they would respond faster to text messages in 2011" and "26 percent said they wanted to text more than call in the New Year."
                        These staticsfascinate me in so many ways.  Teens need to make resolutionsinvolving texting?  These resolutions didn't even exist three years ago.  Our country is becoming so technologically dependent that we now have to limit the amount of texting we do.
                         I agree with the first resolution because it is a shame that we reserve proper grammar for a school setting instead of practicing it outside of the classroom, as well.  Vocabulary and grammer skills are vital in so many ways and it's upsetting we don't use them more often.
                         Responding faster also makes sense, because a fast response time shows a friend or family member how much you care.
                         However, I still can't fathom why some teens would rather text than call.
                         Texting is fun, but I have found it is much easier to communicate through a call than a text.  It is so comforting to hear a voice on the other end instead of typing away, hoping the receiver gets to the text message in time.
                         Other resolutions mentioned in the survey were "text less during movies," "text more in class," "get faster at texting" and "hide texts from parents."
                          The last resolution worries me the most.  Why would anyone feel the need to hide a text message from a parent when parents are usually the ones who pay for the text messages?  I would never hide anything from my parents, because I know that if it is something bad, they will find out eventually.  I would hope that teensfeel safe enough to talk to a parent about an uncomfortable situation without the need to hide anything or feel embarrassed.
                          "Text more in class" also worries me.  How is that even a resolution?  Teachers work hard to put assignments together and give students the resources they need to learn.  If you are busy texting during class and not paying attention, you could miss something very important.  Texting during class is by far the biggest insult you can give to a teacher.
                          "Text less during movies" is understandable, because if you aren't allowed to make phone calls during movies, why would you be allowed to send a text message?  I would like to adopt this as a resolution, since I often find myself texting away when a movie is playing.
                          "Get faster at texting" is something we all could work on.  The faster you are at texting, the more time you have to accomplish other tasks like chores, or watching that must-see last episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker" on your DVR.