Tuesday, June 30, 2015

What NOT To Say To The Police. This Is Gold.

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate.  So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, 
carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.  I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.  They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe!  They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.  But to my surprise, cars started slowing down looking at my lifelike men.  And of course, traffic started backing up.  Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy.  It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.  He got out of his car and started walking towards me.  I could tell he was not a happy camper!
 
"What's going on here?'
 
'My car has a flat tire,' I said calmly.
 
'Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'
 
I couldn't believe that he didn't know.  So I told him,
 
'Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!'

She Was TIRED Of Being Belittled By Her Husband. So She Got Her Revenge By Doing THIS… So Clever!


You Won't Believe What She Caught This Ice Cream Man Doing! I'm Speechless!

Sunday, June 28, 2015

God's Voice Mail

                                  Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives.  Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?  Imagine calling and hearing the following :

                                Thank you for calling heaven.
                                 For English press 1
                                 For Spanish press 2
                                 For all other languages press 3

                                 Please select one of the following options :
                                 Press 1 for request
                                 Press 2 for thanksgiving
                                 Press 3 for complaints
                                 Press 4 for all others
                                 I am sorry, all or Angles and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now.
                                 However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.  Please sat on the line.

                                 If you would like to speak to :
                                 God, press 1
                                 Jesus, press 2
                                 Holy Spirit, press 3
                                 To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5 and then enter His Social Security number followed by the pound sign.
                                 (If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.)
                                 For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN  followed by the numbers 316.
                                 For answers to nagging questions about dinisaurs or life on other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for the specifics.
                                 Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today.  Please hang up and call again tomorrow.

                                 The office is now closed for the weekend to observe our religious holiday.
                                 If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your Pastor.
                                 Thank you and have a heavenly day!



                            

Future archaeologist asks : What's a pay phone?

                                 The Future ------- I can only imagine the excitement and confusion when archaeologists found things like the Rosetta Stone or Stonehenge.  These things are amazing to look at, and you try to figure out why these ancient civilizations built them, what their purpose was and how they were constructed.
                                 Much like the explorers and scholars who found these objects, this young archaeologist came across something strange, unique and intimidatingly beautiful : a pay phone.
                                 The boy's face is a mixture of wonderment, fear and disappointment that humanity ever used this contraption.
                                 The boy is clearly a sharp chap and asked, "Is this one of those old-fashioned phones?" 
                                 Yes, son, it most certainly is.  We used to use them to call our moms to pick us up from the old picture house after taking in a show.  We'd often search our pockets fruitlessly for a quarter, and when we came up empty-handed we cautiously dialed 1-800-Collect and hoped dad wouldn't be too upset.
                                 Am I the only one feeling old here?
                                 Reguardless, it's pretty funny to watch this young man try to figure what this dated and bulky contraption ever added to society.  If you only knew, young man; if you only knew.   

Milwaukee man pronounced dead, then moves and breathes - authorities

 
First responders preparing to take the body of a Milwaukee man pronounced dead to the morgue got a jolt when the man suddenly began moving and noticeably breathing, authorities said on Friday.
 

Giant kangaroo moves into Brisbane suburb in Australia

 
Residents of a Brisbane suburb in Australia say they are getting used to a new neighbor - a giant kangaroo who recently moved into the area.

Animals beat the heat in India

 
India's Sayaji Baug zoo in western Gujarat state is helping animals cool off from soaring heat.

German grandmother gives birth to quadruplets at age 65

 
A 65-year-old German grandmother gave birth to quadruplets at a Berlin hospital this week, with the three boys and a girl born prematurely at 26 weeks being in good health and having a good chance of survival, German TV network RTL reported on Saturday.
 

Hong Kong says Hello to a Hello Kitty-themed restaurant

 
First Chinese cuisine Hello Kitty-themed restaurant opens in Hong Kong with fans queuing to sample a meal.

Animals in the news around the globe

 
From a curious eight-week-old hippopotamus making a splash to the tiniest penguins in the world -- animals in the news around the world.
 

Townsend lets cat out of the bag, why hotels are best

 
American player Taylor Townsend, when deciding whether to stay in a cramped Parisian hotel or rent a private apartment during Roland Garros, opted for the former.
 

Baby hippopotamus swims with mother in San Diego Zoo

 
An eight-week old hippopotamus ventures into the deep waters of San Diego Zoo's pool with the guidance of her mother, attracting the attention of curious visitors.
 

Bones found in California belong to Swedish girl missing 30 years

 
Bones found in the Northern California foothills have been identified as belonging to a Swedish exchange student who went missing more than 33 years ago, prompting police investigators to reopen the case, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Three cruise liners mark 175th anniversary of Cunard line

 
Cunard's Three Queens, the biggest ships ever to sail in formation on the River Mersey in northern England, celebrate the 175th anniversary of the shipping line.

Danish radio station defends killing baby rabbit live on air

 
A Danish radio station is defending a show during which the host killed a baby rabbit by hitting it with a bicycle pump, live on the air, saying it was intended to show the hypocrisy of animal lovers.
 

Christie's Latin American sale expected to surpass $22 million

 
Christie's auction house in New York previews its spring sale of Latin American art, featuring works by well known artists including Varo, Tamayo and Botero.
 

Hillary Clinton launches the Everyday Pantsuit Tee

 
U.S. presidential candidate Hillary Clinton pokes fun at herself with the latest item for sale on her website, the Everyday Pantsuit Tee.

Washington gumbo lover leaves $2,000 tip on $93 restaurant bill

 
A Washington man shocked the staff of a neighborhood restaurant earlier this week by leaving a $2,000 for a meal of beer and gumbo he shared with a friend, the proprietor said Wednesday.
 

Branded golf balls were a mistake, Ireland's former bank regulator says

 
Ireland's financial regulator, whose "timid" supervision was criticized for not halting the country's banking crash, produced branded golf balls to promote itself before the office was overhauled, a parliamentary inquiry heard on Thursday.
 

Atlanta NFL team waives player after alleged dog killing

 
The Atlanta Falcons released Prince Shembo on Friday after the football player was charged with aggravated animal cruelty in the killing of his girlfriend's dog, the team said.

On a Paris bridge, the end of a love too heavy to bear

 
Workmen remove padlocks from the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris, afraid the sheer weight of the romantic tokens was putting the 19th century structure at risk. Roselle Chen reports.
 

It takes more than a kick on the shin to win this championship

 
Competitors grapple and kick each other's legs until one contestant falls over in the Shin Kicking Championships. Roselle Chen reports.
 

Pennsylvania woman goes on trial on fortune-telling charges

 
A Pennsylvania woman went on trial on Monday for the rarely prosecuted offense of fortune-telling, accused of persuading a client she could lift a cloud of "spells and curses" in exchange for payments that likely reached thousands of dollars.
 

Turkey's Erdogan challenges opposition to find his golden toilet seat

 
Irritated by accusations of lavishness, Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan has vowed to resign if the leader of the main opposition can find a single golden toilet seat in his vast new palace.
 

Florida woman's online order asks for pizza, police help

 
Employees at a Pizza Hut in Florida were praised on Wednesday for helping rescue a customer who wrote a message in her online pizza order that she was being held hostage and needed someone to call 911, authorities said.
 

Soccer player McCarthy loses more than hair in barbershop robbery

 
Former South Africa striker Benni McCarthy became a target for more than autograph hunters when he was robbed at gunpoint in a Johannesburg barbershop.
 

Furry four-legged intruder makes surprise visit to Australian hospital

 
Security camera footage of a koala wandering unhindered through the emergency ward of an Australian hospital has gone viral, with tens of thousands watching the curious critter on the Internet.

'Serial stowaway' was arrested at Chicago airport last month

 
A woman notorious for sneaking onto commercial airline flights was arrested at Chicago O'Hare International Airport late last month after she was found in a restricted area without a ticket, police said on Tuesday.
 

Austrian baker causes stir with 'tasteless' 9/11 cake

 
A Vienna baker has stirred up anger by making a cake depicting Austria's main political parties as New York's twin towers coming under attack from opposition party aircraft.
 

Argentine court weighs whether orangutan deemed 'non-human person' can be moved to sanctuary

 
A court in Argentina is set to decide if Sandra, a 29-year-old orangutan legally recognised as a "non-human person," should be released from the Buenos Aires zoo to live the rest of her life in freedom. Sharon Reich reports.
 

Could another English king be buried under a car park?

 
Just three years after the extraordinary discovery of King Richard III under a car park, researchers think another medieval English monarch might be found buried beneath a parking lot and are hoping to find him.
 

She's a grand ol' flag

                                 June 14 is an important date in American history.  Really, can any "Seinfeld" aficionado worth his salt ever forget that on that date in 1987, Kramer and Newman were spat upon, not by Keith Hernandez, as originally thought, but by Mets reliever/jokester Roger McDowell from behind the bushes on the gravelly road after a Mets-Phillies game at Shea, ruining their day?
                                 June 14 is important for many other reasons.  On that date, sandpaper was invented in 1834, the U.S. Army was established in 1775, and "The Gong Show" premiered in 1976.
                                 Of course, June 14 is best known, not for the abrasiveness of 12-grit sandpaper or the zaniness of a TV program featuring comical, no-talent acts, but for Flag Day, when Americans commemorate the adoption of Ol' Glory as our national symbol.
                                 Everyone knows the flag has 50 stars and is red, white and blue.  But what do you know about the flag beyond what most second-graders do? 
                                Lets find out, as we salute this cherished symbol of freedom :

1. When was the first flag approved by the Continental Congress?
a) 1775
b) 1776
c)  1777
d) 1812
2.  What did the first U.S. flag have?
a) Thirteen stars and 13 stripes
b) Thirteen stripes and "Don't Tread on Me"
c) British Union Jack and 13 stripes
d) Mustard stains from George Washington's hot dog
3. Who designed the first flag with stars and stripes?
a) Francis Hopkinson
b) Betsy Ross
c) Martha Washington
d) Christian Dior
4. What is the blue part of the flag called?
a) Field
b) Canton
c) Union
d) All of these
5. Who made the flag that inspired Francis Scott Key to write the "Star-Spangled Banner"?
a) Betsy Ross
b) Mary Pickersgill
c) Martha Washington
d) Sears Roebuck
6. How many stripes on the flag are red?
a) Six
b) Seven
c) Eight
d) Nine
7. How many rows of stars are on the flag?
a) 7
b) 8
c) 9
d) 10
8. What does flying the flag upside-down represent?
a) Distress
b) You're not an American citizen
c) Disapproval of governmental policies
d) You need to see an ophthalmologist
9. Which is the only state to formally observe Flag Day?
a) Pennsylvania
b) New Jersey
c) Maryland
d) Massachusetts
10. What does a vexillologist do with flags?
a) Makes them
b) Repairs them
c) Studies them
d) All of these
11. Which president proclaimed June 14 as Flag Day?
a) Woodrow Wilson
b) Calvin Coolidge
c) Harry S. Truman
d) William Howard Taft
12. Betsy Ross was the widow of which Revolutionist?
a) Francis Scott Key
b) John Ross
c) John Hancock
d) John Lennon
13. When the flag is hung vertically, where should the canton be?
a) Upper left
b) Upper right
c) Lower left
d) Lower right
14. Why do flag patches worn on a uniform's right sleeve often show the canton in the right corner?
a) To balance the flag on the left sleeve that shows the canton in the left corner
b) So when the person wearing it looks down, the blue field appears on the left side
c) To give the canton the highest, or front, position of honor
d) When the flag is a patch, it makes no difference
15. How should a wornout flag be disposed?
a) Bury it
b) Burn it
c) Drop it into the sea
d) All of these
16. When a flag passes during a parade, you should:
a) Salute
b) Bow
c) Put hand over heart
d) Applaud




----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers :  1. c  ; 2. c  ; 3. a  ; 4. d  ; 5. b  ; 6. b  ; 7. c  ; 8. a  ; 9. a  ; 10. c  ; 11. a  ; 12. b  ; 13. a  ; 14. c  ;  15. b  ; 16. c

Did You Know............

1. The largest ocean on earth is the Pacific Ocean. 
     It covers approximately 30% of the Earth's surface.

2. Bluefin Tuna are among the fastest marine fish.
    An Adult may weigh 1500 lbs. and swim up to 55 MPH!!

3. Penguins "fly" underwater at up to 25 MPH.

4. Horseshoe Crabs have existed in essentially the same form for the past 135 million years!

5. Sharks bite roughly 70 people each year WORLDWIDE.
    New Smyrna Beach in Florida is the shark attack capital of the world.

She Soaks A Cotton Ball In Vodka, But Where She Applies It Will Surprise You - Trendzified

Man Throws A Wild Neighborhood Party, But His Explanation To The Mailman Is Priceless

One Monday morning Shane the postman was riding through the neighborhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.
 
As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
 
His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirt bottles for the recycling bin.
 
'Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the postman commented.
 
David, in obvious pain, replied, 'Actually we had it Saturday night.  This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 o'clock Sunday morning.  We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.  We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'
 
The Postman thought for a moment and said, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'
 
Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.  Then the women try to guess who it is.....'

The postman laughed and said, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' David responded, 'Your name came up 7 times.'

Woman Asks Man About The Dog Food He Is Buying. She Could Never Have Prepared Herself For His Response... - Trendzified

She Was Diagnosed With Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder But Her Explanation Of It Is Priceless - Trendzified

This Army Lieutenant Had Been Writing Letters To An Unknown Woman And When It Came Time To Meet Her In Person? He Couldn't Have Expected This... - Trendzified

Man Gets The Shock Of His Life When He Met Her For The First Time. But His Response Is Perfect.

Man Gets The Shock Of His Life When He Met Her For The First Time. But His Response Is Perfect. http://www.tickld.com/x/man-gets-the-shock-of-his-life-when-he-met-her-forthe-first-time?utm_source

A Man Goes Into Panic When He Gets Pulled Over, But The Cop's Response Is Beyond Hilarious - Trendzified

She's Just Reading A Book On Her Boat When An Officer Tries To Ticket Her. Her Response Is Brilliant. - Trendzified

Dad Thinks His Young Daughter Is Doing The 'Sweetest Thing' Until Mom Points Out The Hilarious Truth - Trendzified

Mother Racks Her Brain To Come Up With A New Technique To Discipline Her Children And It's Gold - Trendzified

This Tricky Puzzle Can Be Solved In 20 Seconds By Most 6-Year Olds. Can You Solve It? - Trendzified

Old Man Completely Throws The Priest For A Loop When He Drops This Bomb During Confession - Trendzified

Lawyer Tries To Trick Senior Citizen Into Giving Away His Money. But Then This Happens... - Trendzified

She Gets Pulled Over For Extreme Road Rage And Didn't Expect The Officer To Say This... - Trendzified

Saturday, June 27, 2015

He's In A Grocery Store When A Woman Tells Him His Fly Is Unzipped. How She Tells Him Is Priceless... - Trendzified

This Man Fooled Everyone For More Than 25 Years And Walked Away Very Wealthy - Trendzified

After Surviving A Car Wreck, The Female Driver Says Something That Changes Both Drivers' Lives

Man Shoves His Parrot In The Freezer To Discipline It…But He Didn’t Expect This - Trendzified

Man couldn't fly U.S. Flag

Man went to a Psychiatrist

                                                                                                                                                                     
A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia.

"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.  Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.  I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it.  Top, under, top, under.  You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said the man.

Six months later the doctor met the man on the street.

"Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit?  A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

Made it out of Bed

Seven Actual Conversations With Idiots That Left Other People Stunned

1. Idiot Sighting.
     My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.  She said, 'you gave me too much money.'  I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.  I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don't do that kind of thing.'  The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
     Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
 
2. Idiot Sighting.
     We had to have the garage door repaired.  The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.  I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'  I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOOO, it's not.  Four is larger than two.'  We haven't used that repairman since.......this happened in Ipswich, Qld
 
3. Idiot Sighting.
    I live in a semi rural area.  We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason : 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here!  I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
    Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
 
4. Idiot Sighting In Food Service.
     My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.  She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
     From Bankstown, Sydney.......
 
5. Idiot Sighting.
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'  To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'  He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' 
    This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
 
6. Idiot Sighting.
    The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.  I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.  She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.  I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.  Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
     She is a government employee in ATO Newcastle NSW AU.
 
7. Idiot Sighting.
    When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  'Hey, 'I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know.  I already did that side.'
 
    Stay Alert!
    They walk among us, they breed, and they vote...............

Your Frustration Over Folding A Fitted Sheet Has Come To An End, As She Shows You How Easily It Can Be Done - Trendzified

Rude Woman On Flight Gets What She Deserves From The Flight Attendant After Refusing To Listen

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
 
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'
 
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.  'Prehaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
 
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.'
 
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
 
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.  Tray-up, B****!'

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Cash, Hope and Jobs

Peppers

A devout Muslim

Two Way Mirrors

Entitlements?

Nurse walks into a bank

Woman in an Elevator

Off-duty Maryland policeman bites man's testicles: court papers

 
A Maryland police officer bit a man's testicles during an off-duty fight outside a Baltimore bar and has been charged with assault, according to court documents made public on Wednesday.Anne Arundel County police officer Michael Flaig, 31, was arrested and charged on Tuesday night after attacking the victim, who was not named by Baltimore police.The fight stemmed from an argument that began after Flaig was accused of making unwanted sexual advances toward the victim's room
 

Grab Somebody

He Covers His Headlights In Toothpaste. When You See Why, You'll Want To Try It Too.

His Friend Was Beyond Shocked When He Said This To A Cab Driver, But It's So True.

I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi.  When we got out, my friend said to the driver, "Thank you for the ride.  You did a superb job of driving."
 
The taxi driver was stunned for a second.  Then he said, "Are you a wise guy or something?"
 
"No, my dear man, and I'm not putting you on.  I admire the way you keep cool in heavy traffic."
 
"Yeah," the driver said and drove off.
 
"What was that all about?"  I asked.
 
I am trying to bring love back to New York," he said.  "I believe it's the only thing that can save the city."
 
"How can one man save New York?"
 
"It's not one man.  I believe I have made that taxi driver's day.  Suppose he has 20 fares.  He's going to be nice to him.  Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or even their own families.  Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000 people.  Now that isn't bad, is it?"
 
"But you're depending on that taxi driver to pass your goodwill to others."
 
"I'm not depending on it," my friend said.  "I'm aware that the system isn't foolproof so I might deal with ten different people today.  If out of ten I can make three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000 more."
 
"It sounds good on paper," I admitted, "but I'm not sure it words in practice."
 
"Nothing is lost if it doesn't.  It didn't take any of my time to tell that man he was doing a good job.  He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip.  If it fell on deaf ears, so what?  Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver I can try to make happy."
 
"You're some kind of a nut," I said.
 
"That shows how cynical you have become.  I have made a study of this.  The thing that seems to be lacking, besides money of course, for our postal employees, is that no one tells people who work for the post office what a good job they're doing."
 
"But they're not doing a good job."
 
"They're not doing a good job because they feel no one cares if they do or not.  Why shouldn't someone say a kind word to them?"
 
We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five workmen eating their lunch.  My friend stopped.  "That's a magnificent job you men have done.  It must be difficult and dangerous work."
 
The workmen eyed my friend suspiciously.
 
"When will it be finished?"
 
"June, a man grunted."
 
"Ah.  That really is impressive.  You must all be very proud."
 
We walked away.   I said to him, "I haven't seen anyone like you since The Man From LaMancha."
 
"When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it.  Somehow the city will benefit from their happiness."
 
"But you can't do this all alone!"  I protested.  "You're just one man."
 
"The most important thing is not to get discouraged.  Making people in the city become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my campaign........."
 
You just winked at a very plain-looking woman," I said.
 
"Yes, I know," he replied.  "And if she's a school teacher, her class will be in for a fantastic day."

Dog on airplane

 
                                                                                                                                                                                            
"I was the flight attendant on a Memorial Day flight.  Speaking with the passenger in the front row, I learned that the dog pictured was Corporal Kiddy.  She had just earned her retirement after 12 years with the U.S. Marines.  I made an announcement to congratulate her on her career.  The cabin erupted into applause.  The corporal jumped onto the nearest lap to graciously accept."

Roses are Red, Nuts are Brown

Math Clock

See Why Pouring Mouthwash Into A Laundry Machine Is Absolutely Genius

It's Brother Week

Australia's Sex Party stripped of official registration

 
The Australian Sex Party, a tiny party known for its salacious name and election day antics, said on Thursday that it had been deregistered after the country's election watchdog ruled it did not have enough activists.