There are times when God seems so close that we are filled with a glorious feeling of love. At other times he can seem so distant it's as if he has turned his back. God lets this happen for our good. Still, that distant feeling can be hard to bear.
Look for a cause.
Sometimes we cause distance to crop up between us without even realizing it. We may have become overly-confident of our spiritual strength and yielded to temptation. Or, we neglected prayer or Sunday Mass.
Pray your way back.
Distance can lead to discouragement, but don't let that keep you from prayer. Reaching out to God is the surest way to find your way back. Enlist the help of the saints or the Blessed Mother.
Mediate on what you know.
Regularly repeat God's promises of salvation, Jesus' pledge of eternal love, memories of God's past blessings, anything that reminds you of his love. Focus on these beautiful thoughts over and over.
Seek Reconciliation.
A common cause for distance is unconfessed sin. Are you weighed down by a fault or sin you are avoiding facing? Consider making a full Confession and seek the Sacrament regularly. Perform an act of penance, such as fasting, to take the focus off yourself. Then you will find he has been beside you all along.
Friday, February 28, 2014
One Minute Meditations
St. Scholastica
Twin sister of St. Benedict, St. Scholastica founded a Benedictine community for women five miles from her brother's monastery. The twins visited annually for prayer and spiritual consultation. One year, Scholastica asked her brother to spend the night but he declined in compliance with his own rule requiring monks to sleep in his monastery. Scholastica prayed and a thunderstorm erupted, preventing Benedict's departure. Three days later, Benedict saw a dove rising from his sister's convent and realized she had died.
Live unafraid
Christ suffered, died, and rose to free us from our fears. "I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me" (Galatians 2:20b).
"We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary." Pope (Emeritus) Benedict.
Twin sister of St. Benedict, St. Scholastica founded a Benedictine community for women five miles from her brother's monastery. The twins visited annually for prayer and spiritual consultation. One year, Scholastica asked her brother to spend the night but he declined in compliance with his own rule requiring monks to sleep in his monastery. Scholastica prayed and a thunderstorm erupted, preventing Benedict's departure. Three days later, Benedict saw a dove rising from his sister's convent and realized she had died.
Live unafraid
Christ suffered, died, and rose to free us from our fears. "I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me and given himself up for me" (Galatians 2:20b).
"We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary." Pope (Emeritus) Benedict.
The perks of owning a "Dumb Phone"
In 2014, seeing a 10-year-old kid with an iPhone in hand is not an uncommon sight. However, in my house, these popular smartphones are not an option.
Yes, I am 16 years old with a "flip phone" that came out years ago. Don't get me wrong ---- it's a cool phone. At least it was when I was 12.
My phone is called the LG Xpression. The keyboard slides out from underneath, and the keys make an obnoxious click when I text.
The camera quality is absolutely horrible ------ you're lucky if you can even identify who is who in my pictures. They all just look like, for a lack of a better word, blobs.
The coolest thing I can do on my cell is set an alarm clock. I get no Internet, no apps, no voice control, no music, etc. While my friends can play any song at any given time, the best thing I have to offer is "Guitar Trip" ----- the newest free ringtone from AT&T.
I can't go on any social media such as Twitter and Instagram or take any nice pictures that can be sent to be printed with the push of a few buttons. In class, when my teachers say "bring out your devices" to look something up, I just have to sit patiently at my desk and wait for the answer to be given to me.
Those are just a few of the inconveniences my phone has, and believe me, there are plenty more.
Although I've made my phone out to sound absolutely awful, it does have its perks. The charge holds really well, so I only have to plug it in once every week. Also, I don't have "read receipts," so no one can ever see when I read their message. This gives me the advantage of ignoring someone in the most polite way possible.
Plus, these "dumb phones" are nearly indestructible. Mine dropped into a creek, fell into a sink with the water running and even survived a brutal smack from a wall. The numerous times I've dropped it on concrete or hardwood floors also proves true durability.
Through all the different beatings my poor phone has suffered, it has never failed to let me call my parents or send a text to my friend.
When I really think about it, though, would I even be capable of owning and operating one of these fancy phones? I'm starting to worry they might be smarter than I am!
When my friend let me borrow her iPhone 5s a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't even figure out how to unlock it. It's come to a point when having a conservation with your own cellphone (Siri) is normal. Don't you think that's a little much?
I mean, in the grand scheme of things, my parents' logic isn't too crazy. Their monthly bill comes out to $10 per number, but data plans cost $30-plus.
I guess my "dino-phone," as my mom likes to call it, isn't so bad after all.
Just pray for me because by the time I'll even be able to afford an iPhone 5s, I'm sure the iPhone 10z will be hot on the market.
Yes, I am 16 years old with a "flip phone" that came out years ago. Don't get me wrong ---- it's a cool phone. At least it was when I was 12.
My phone is called the LG Xpression. The keyboard slides out from underneath, and the keys make an obnoxious click when I text.
The camera quality is absolutely horrible ------ you're lucky if you can even identify who is who in my pictures. They all just look like, for a lack of a better word, blobs.
The coolest thing I can do on my cell is set an alarm clock. I get no Internet, no apps, no voice control, no music, etc. While my friends can play any song at any given time, the best thing I have to offer is "Guitar Trip" ----- the newest free ringtone from AT&T.
I can't go on any social media such as Twitter and Instagram or take any nice pictures that can be sent to be printed with the push of a few buttons. In class, when my teachers say "bring out your devices" to look something up, I just have to sit patiently at my desk and wait for the answer to be given to me.
Those are just a few of the inconveniences my phone has, and believe me, there are plenty more.
Although I've made my phone out to sound absolutely awful, it does have its perks. The charge holds really well, so I only have to plug it in once every week. Also, I don't have "read receipts," so no one can ever see when I read their message. This gives me the advantage of ignoring someone in the most polite way possible.
Plus, these "dumb phones" are nearly indestructible. Mine dropped into a creek, fell into a sink with the water running and even survived a brutal smack from a wall. The numerous times I've dropped it on concrete or hardwood floors also proves true durability.
Through all the different beatings my poor phone has suffered, it has never failed to let me call my parents or send a text to my friend.
When I really think about it, though, would I even be capable of owning and operating one of these fancy phones? I'm starting to worry they might be smarter than I am!
When my friend let me borrow her iPhone 5s a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't even figure out how to unlock it. It's come to a point when having a conservation with your own cellphone (Siri) is normal. Don't you think that's a little much?
I mean, in the grand scheme of things, my parents' logic isn't too crazy. Their monthly bill comes out to $10 per number, but data plans cost $30-plus.
I guess my "dino-phone," as my mom likes to call it, isn't so bad after all.
Just pray for me because by the time I'll even be able to afford an iPhone 5s, I'm sure the iPhone 10z will be hot on the market.
Earthweek: A Diary of the Planet (Feb. 21, 2014)
Enduring Weather
Residents from North America to Britain, weary of ice, blizzards and catastrophic flooding this winter, may have to get used to weeks or even months of such miserable conditions on a regular basis. That's the conclusion of a Rutgers-NOAA study that found the jet stream is now taking a longer and more erratic path due to global warming. The jet stream is a powerful, high-altitude river of air that transports weather systems around the planet. It's fueled by differences in temperature between the Arctic and the middle latitudes. And because temperatures across the Arctic have been rising two to three times more rapidly than in the rest of the world, those differences are now less and causing the jet stream to slow. This is resulting in weather that remains the same for prolonged periods, like in the barrage of blizzards that buried parts of Canada and the United States and the onslaught of oceanic storms that has swamped and battered Britain.
Argentina Fireball
A meteor exploding over northern Argentina caused such a loud noise and strong shaking that many residents feared they had been hit by an earthquake. Cloud cover prevented residents from seeing the trail left by the space debris when it entered the atmosphere above Santa Fe province on the morning of Feb. 18. Officials said the explosion, which occurred at an altitude of about 45 miles, was heard in a nearly 200-mile radius. Despite the loud blast, there were no reports of damage on the ground and no fragments were immediately found. The director of the Santa Fe Astronomical Observatory, Jorge Coghlan, told the country's Clarin daily that the object could have originally been about 20 inches in diameter.
A Chilling Wind
A new and detailed study into the recent 13-year pause in global surface warming points to stronger trade winds in the Pacific as a primary cause. Scientists recently explained that the deep oceans have been absorbing the brunt of excess solar radiation due to higher greenhouse gas levels, but they didn't know exactly how that was happening. Research just published in the journal Nature Climate Change shows that the strengthening of the trade winds has churned the Pacific so much that heat is being drawn from the air down to waters between about 300 and 1,000 feet in depth. The same churning brings up cooler waters, cooling the air above the ocean surface. Further accumulation of greenhouse gas emissions in the atmosphere is expected to eventually overpower the factors behind the pause in global warming.
Earthquakes
Islands of the eastern Caribbean were jolted by a 6.5 magnitude temblor centered beneath the Altantic Ocean about 115 miles northeast of Bridgetown, Barbados. The shaking awakened residents and tourists alike on Barbados, as well as on St. Lucia. No damage was reported.
* Earth movements were also felt in northeastern Colombia, the far northern Philippines, western Greece, central Oklahoma and along the South Carolina-Georgia border.
Tropical Cyclone
Cyclone Guito steadily intensified as it passed southward through the Mozambique Channel. Gales and locally heavy rain from the storm's spiral bands brushed Madagascar and Mozambique as the eye of the Category I storm remained well offshore.
Eruption
A powerful blast from Indonesia's Mount Kelud volcano killed four people and disrupted air transport across Java and the holiday resort of Bali. The victims died after the roofs of their homes collapsed beneath the weight of accumulating ash. The volcanic debris reached 8 inches deep in some areas. The Feb. 14 eruption was so loud that it could be heard from 125 miles away and was said to be "like thousands of bombs exploding," by one nearby villager who feared "doomsday was upon us." Kelud, located about 375 miles east of Jakarta, had been rumbling for several weeks prior to the violent 90-minute eruption.
Dolphin Rights
A Romanian politician introduced a bill in his country's parliament that would recognize dolphins as "non-human persons" and make the marine mammals equal to people before the law. Remus Cernea claims dolphins deserve such rights because of their highly developed intelligence, personalities and behavior. The legislation would ban the use of dolphins in live entertainment shows and give anyone who kills them the same sentences as those given to anyone who murders humans. Cernea says he wants to protect the native dolphins that swim off his country's Black Sea coast, and to promote the rights of the species worldwide. "This law asks you to make a huge step, philosophically speaking, to understand and to accept that somehow there is another species which is quite similar as we are," he told reporters. The lawmaker concedes he has no support from his colleagues.
Residents from North America to Britain, weary of ice, blizzards and catastrophic flooding this winter, may have to get used to weeks or even months of such miserable conditions on a regular basis. That's the conclusion of a Rutgers-NOAA study that found the jet stream is now taking a longer and more erratic path due to global warming. The jet stream is a powerful, high-altitude river of air that transports weather systems around the planet. It's fueled by differences in temperature between the Arctic and the middle latitudes. And because temperatures across the Arctic have been rising two to three times more rapidly than in the rest of the world, those differences are now less and causing the jet stream to slow. This is resulting in weather that remains the same for prolonged periods, like in the barrage of blizzards that buried parts of Canada and the United States and the onslaught of oceanic storms that has swamped and battered Britain.
Argentina Fireball
A meteor exploding over northern Argentina caused such a loud noise and strong shaking that many residents feared they had been hit by an earthquake. Cloud cover prevented residents from seeing the trail left by the space debris when it entered the atmosphere above Santa Fe province on the morning of Feb. 18. Officials said the explosion, which occurred at an altitude of about 45 miles, was heard in a nearly 200-mile radius. Despite the loud blast, there were no reports of damage on the ground and no fragments were immediately found. The director of the Santa Fe Astronomical Observatory, Jorge Coghlan, told the country's Clarin daily that the object could have originally been about 20 inches in diameter.
A Chilling Wind
A new and detailed study into the recent 13-year pause in global surface warming points to stronger trade winds in the Pacific as a primary cause. Scientists recently explained that the deep oceans have been absorbing the brunt of excess solar radiation due to higher greenhouse gas levels, but they didn't know exactly how that was happening. Research just published in the journal Nature Climate Change shows that the strengthening of the trade winds has churned the Pacific so much that heat is being drawn from the air down to waters between about 300 and 1,000 feet in depth. The same churning brings up cooler waters, cooling the air above the ocean surface. Further accumulation of greenhouse gas emissions in the atmosphere is expected to eventually overpower the factors behind the pause in global warming.
Earthquakes
Islands of the eastern Caribbean were jolted by a 6.5 magnitude temblor centered beneath the Altantic Ocean about 115 miles northeast of Bridgetown, Barbados. The shaking awakened residents and tourists alike on Barbados, as well as on St. Lucia. No damage was reported.
* Earth movements were also felt in northeastern Colombia, the far northern Philippines, western Greece, central Oklahoma and along the South Carolina-Georgia border.
Tropical Cyclone
Cyclone Guito steadily intensified as it passed southward through the Mozambique Channel. Gales and locally heavy rain from the storm's spiral bands brushed Madagascar and Mozambique as the eye of the Category I storm remained well offshore.
Eruption
A powerful blast from Indonesia's Mount Kelud volcano killed four people and disrupted air transport across Java and the holiday resort of Bali. The victims died after the roofs of their homes collapsed beneath the weight of accumulating ash. The volcanic debris reached 8 inches deep in some areas. The Feb. 14 eruption was so loud that it could be heard from 125 miles away and was said to be "like thousands of bombs exploding," by one nearby villager who feared "doomsday was upon us." Kelud, located about 375 miles east of Jakarta, had been rumbling for several weeks prior to the violent 90-minute eruption.
Dolphin Rights
A Romanian politician introduced a bill in his country's parliament that would recognize dolphins as "non-human persons" and make the marine mammals equal to people before the law. Remus Cernea claims dolphins deserve such rights because of their highly developed intelligence, personalities and behavior. The legislation would ban the use of dolphins in live entertainment shows and give anyone who kills them the same sentences as those given to anyone who murders humans. Cernea says he wants to protect the native dolphins that swim off his country's Black Sea coast, and to promote the rights of the species worldwide. "This law asks you to make a huge step, philosophically speaking, to understand and to accept that somehow there is another species which is quite similar as we are," he told reporters. The lawmaker concedes he has no support from his colleagues.
The Month of March
- March 1 : Peanut Butter Lovers' Day
- " 2 : Old Stuff Day
- " 3 : National Anthem Day
- " 4 : Holy Experiment Day
- " 5 : Multiple Personality Day
- " 6 : National Frozen Food Day
- " 7 : National Salesperson Day
- " 8 : International (Working) Women's Day
- " 9 : Panic Day
- " 10 : Middle Name Pride Day
- " 11 : Johnny Appleseed Day
- " 12 : Plant a Flower Day
- " 13 : Ear Muff Day
- " 14 : Learn about Butterflies Day
- " 15 : Incredible Kid Day
- " 16 : Freedom of Information Day
- " 17 : Submarine Day
- " 18 : Supreme Sacrifice Day
- " 19 : Poultry Day
- " 20 : Proposal Day
- " 21 : Fragrance Day
- " 22 : National Goof Off Day
- " 23 : National Chip & Dip Day
- " 24 : National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day
- " 25 : Pecan Day
- " 26 : Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
- " 27 : National "Joe" Day
- " 28 : Something on a Stick Day
- " 29 : National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day
- " 30 : Take a Walk in the Park Day
- " 31 : Bunsen Burner Day
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Old is Gold
The day I was hired as a full-time newspaper reporter for the first time more than 33 years ago, I was the second-youngest person in the newsroom. My old editor was straight out of central casting ----- white shirt, rolled-up sleeves, tie undone, ink-stained breast pocket, crew cut, chewed pencil balancing on an ear, pica ruler poking out of a back pocket.
He used to call me kid.
Today I'm an old coot.
While my wife would beg to differ ------- at least that's what I'm hoping -------- one irritated reader phoned to pin the moniker on me.
"I just read your article about how much you hate the comedy shows on TV today, that they're not as good as the old ones," the caller began. "You know, I've been reading your articles and you don't like anything new. You write that article about new words you don't like, and I think you did one about songs today you don't like.
"You're an old coot, know that? You just like old stuff."
I find the label quite humorous, unlike today's TV comedies. I'm not in the minority here, as the amount of phone calls and emails supporting my opinion attest. By and large, readers agreed with me that the popular comedies of today ----- "The Big Bang Theory" and "How I Met Your Mother" ------ don't compare to many of the top comedies of the 50s, 60s, and 70s like "The Honeymooners," "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." and "All in the Family," many of which are on MeTV, which airs classic programs.
Lots of old coots like me out there.
And coot-ettes.
"I read your commentary about TV comedies and couldn't agree more," wrote Beth Ann O'Toole of Warrington, who almost exclusivelywatches MeTV and other Classic channels such as Retro TV and Antenna TV. "I still enjoy a little bit of TV Land programming, like "Everybody Loves Raymond." ........ The rest of it, forget about it.
"Yes, our (kind of) TV is gone. But thank goodness for those (classic TV) channels; they've saved us."
Ken Thompson of New Britain was visiting his brother John in North Carolina last year to attend their mom's funeral when he stumbled upon the nugget of television gold that is MeTV. During their moments of grief, John played an episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?" that he'd recorded on his DVR for his brother.
"It made a sad week a little happier," Thompson said. "Joe E. Ross (who starred as hilarious NYPD patrolman Gunther Toody) was one of the all-time funniest comedians.
"I DVR " The Phil Silvers Show," "Car 54," "The Untouchables" and a few others (on MeTV). Thanks for spreading this important word."
Hey, we old coots have to stick together.
Sandy Armitage of Solebury is a card-carrying member of the old coots. For years, he and his friends have complained about the dearth of truly funny TV comedies produced today.
"It seems like the writers today just plain don't get what makes people laugh," he wrote. "With the old shows, often it was just a look or one word, and we find ourselves cracking up with laughter."
Mark Merski of Quakertown called to say he knows the problem with today's TV comedies.
"I watch a lot of TV," he said. "What I've noticed is the writers are trying to be clever rather than funny. It's like they're trying to show off how smart they are instead of writing something that will make us laugh for a half hour.
"Thanks for your column on those old sitcoms. Today's sitcom writers could learn a thing or two about what's funny and what isn't. They should know that old is gold."
But then, we coots already knew that.
He used to call me kid.
Today I'm an old coot.
While my wife would beg to differ ------- at least that's what I'm hoping -------- one irritated reader phoned to pin the moniker on me.
"I just read your article about how much you hate the comedy shows on TV today, that they're not as good as the old ones," the caller began. "You know, I've been reading your articles and you don't like anything new. You write that article about new words you don't like, and I think you did one about songs today you don't like.
"You're an old coot, know that? You just like old stuff."
I find the label quite humorous, unlike today's TV comedies. I'm not in the minority here, as the amount of phone calls and emails supporting my opinion attest. By and large, readers agreed with me that the popular comedies of today ----- "The Big Bang Theory" and "How I Met Your Mother" ------ don't compare to many of the top comedies of the 50s, 60s, and 70s like "The Honeymooners," "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." and "All in the Family," many of which are on MeTV, which airs classic programs.
Lots of old coots like me out there.
And coot-ettes.
"I read your commentary about TV comedies and couldn't agree more," wrote Beth Ann O'Toole of Warrington, who almost exclusivelywatches MeTV and other Classic channels such as Retro TV and Antenna TV. "I still enjoy a little bit of TV Land programming, like "Everybody Loves Raymond." ........ The rest of it, forget about it.
"Yes, our (kind of) TV is gone. But thank goodness for those (classic TV) channels; they've saved us."
Ken Thompson of New Britain was visiting his brother John in North Carolina last year to attend their mom's funeral when he stumbled upon the nugget of television gold that is MeTV. During their moments of grief, John played an episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?" that he'd recorded on his DVR for his brother.
"It made a sad week a little happier," Thompson said. "Joe E. Ross (who starred as hilarious NYPD patrolman Gunther Toody) was one of the all-time funniest comedians.
"I DVR " The Phil Silvers Show," "Car 54," "The Untouchables" and a few others (on MeTV). Thanks for spreading this important word."
Hey, we old coots have to stick together.
Sandy Armitage of Solebury is a card-carrying member of the old coots. For years, he and his friends have complained about the dearth of truly funny TV comedies produced today.
"It seems like the writers today just plain don't get what makes people laugh," he wrote. "With the old shows, often it was just a look or one word, and we find ourselves cracking up with laughter."
Mark Merski of Quakertown called to say he knows the problem with today's TV comedies.
"I watch a lot of TV," he said. "What I've noticed is the writers are trying to be clever rather than funny. It's like they're trying to show off how smart they are instead of writing something that will make us laugh for a half hour.
"Thanks for your column on those old sitcoms. Today's sitcom writers could learn a thing or two about what's funny and what isn't. They should know that old is gold."
But then, we coots already knew that.
Nothing Funny About It
They're today's television comedies. Laughable. But just not funny.
To paraphrase Springsteen: 300 channels (and nothin' on). Far too often I find myself gripping the remote and click, clicking for what seems an eternity as I search for a funny program. I surf so long I almost get the urge to write a Beach Boys-type song, something like "Wouldn't It Be Nice (to find a decent comedy)" or "God Only Knows (where all the funny shows have gone)."
"The Big Bang Theory," "How I Met Your Mother," "Modern Family," "Parks and Recreation," "Two Broke Girls" and "Mike and Molly" are TV's top comedies today, and each has its moments, just not enough of them. The funny fails to sustain, too often gasping for a breath of air. Sure, there are usually two or three funny moments, but the rest is filler between commercials. Too much burger when my funny bone craves filet.
I've developed a callous on my index finger from surfing and searching, and shake my head in frustration at the lack of funny. "Kristie"? I keep looking. I hopscotch over infomercials and shopping networks that, by my count, constitute an unacceptable 25 percent of my channels. I find another comedy. "The Exes"? C'mon, now. I zip past more of them. "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"? Deep six it. I'm thirsting. Where's the oasis?
Three hundred channels and nothin' on. Bruce was right. Where, oh where, are the glory days? Comedy ------ smart, funny comedy ------ is gone, and that's a tragedy.
Where are the days of CBS Saturday Night in 1973, arguably the greatest comedy night in the history of TV? The shows were placed down like a card shark showing his winning hand: "All in the Family," "Mash," "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," and "The Bob Newhart Show" and "The Carol Burnett Show."
They represent a comedy Mount Rushmore plus one. The Funny Five all aired on the same night and network. There they were, big hitters and hits exploding one after another.
I'd even settle for Mount Rushmore Light: NBC's Thursday night lineup in the mid-1980s: "The Cosby Show," "Family Ties," "Cheers" and "Night Court". I'd even spread 'em out over a week.
Back then, I heard Coz deliver this classic line to son Theo: "I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out." Today, I hear punch lines I see coming a mile away, as if eating Thanksgiving dinner and seeing Christmas in the distance.
Yes, 300 channels (and nothin' on).
Until last week.
Either the good Lord heard my pleas or I somehow sold my soul to the devil. I mistakenly hit a number on my remote, and there it was. Funny had returned to my screen in the form of a classic TV network called MeTV, as in Memorable Entertainment Television. Like finally finding the woman of my dreams, my search has ended. MeTV gives me "Mary Tyler Moore," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "F Troop," "Get Smart," "Hogan's Heroes," "The Phil Silvers Show," "Car 54, Where Are You?" and more.
I laughed out loud watching "Taxi" and the Rev. Jim Ignatowski, the burned-out, counter-culture cabbie portrayed brilliantly by Christopher Lloyd. On "The Honeymooners," Ralph Kramden's eyes bulged out and he screamed in pain after a mouse trap snapped down on his fingers, and I belly laughed as if Iwatching it for the first time. As Sgt. Schultz bumbled his way through another day in a Nazi prison camp during World War II, I laughed even more.
As I did, I felt a rumbling beside me. It was our 12-year-old son busting a gut laughing. He was born nearly a half century after one of those shows, a third of a century after another and almost a quarter century after the other. Funny, he proved, transcends time.
The moment I found out my satellite provider began offering MeTV, I considered giving my employer two weeks' notice. I was afraid I'd never leave the house again because of all the funny on my screen. My wife didn't think that was funny at all.
Does nostalgia play a part into my love of old comedies? Sure. Those programs and all that funny remind me of sitting with my late father, who loved TV comedy the way politicians love navy suits. But as my son's aching sides proved, funny has no expiration date.
Unlike today's comedies. And that's nothing to laugh about.
To paraphrase Springsteen: 300 channels (and nothin' on). Far too often I find myself gripping the remote and click, clicking for what seems an eternity as I search for a funny program. I surf so long I almost get the urge to write a Beach Boys-type song, something like "Wouldn't It Be Nice (to find a decent comedy)" or "God Only Knows (where all the funny shows have gone)."
"The Big Bang Theory," "How I Met Your Mother," "Modern Family," "Parks and Recreation," "Two Broke Girls" and "Mike and Molly" are TV's top comedies today, and each has its moments, just not enough of them. The funny fails to sustain, too often gasping for a breath of air. Sure, there are usually two or three funny moments, but the rest is filler between commercials. Too much burger when my funny bone craves filet.
I've developed a callous on my index finger from surfing and searching, and shake my head in frustration at the lack of funny. "Kristie"? I keep looking. I hopscotch over infomercials and shopping networks that, by my count, constitute an unacceptable 25 percent of my channels. I find another comedy. "The Exes"? C'mon, now. I zip past more of them. "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"? Deep six it. I'm thirsting. Where's the oasis?
Three hundred channels and nothin' on. Bruce was right. Where, oh where, are the glory days? Comedy ------ smart, funny comedy ------ is gone, and that's a tragedy.
Where are the days of CBS Saturday Night in 1973, arguably the greatest comedy night in the history of TV? The shows were placed down like a card shark showing his winning hand: "All in the Family," "Mash," "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," and "The Bob Newhart Show" and "The Carol Burnett Show."
They represent a comedy Mount Rushmore plus one. The Funny Five all aired on the same night and network. There they were, big hitters and hits exploding one after another.
I'd even settle for Mount Rushmore Light: NBC's Thursday night lineup in the mid-1980s: "The Cosby Show," "Family Ties," "Cheers" and "Night Court". I'd even spread 'em out over a week.
Back then, I heard Coz deliver this classic line to son Theo: "I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out." Today, I hear punch lines I see coming a mile away, as if eating Thanksgiving dinner and seeing Christmas in the distance.
Yes, 300 channels (and nothin' on).
Until last week.
Either the good Lord heard my pleas or I somehow sold my soul to the devil. I mistakenly hit a number on my remote, and there it was. Funny had returned to my screen in the form of a classic TV network called MeTV, as in Memorable Entertainment Television. Like finally finding the woman of my dreams, my search has ended. MeTV gives me "Mary Tyler Moore," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "F Troop," "Get Smart," "Hogan's Heroes," "The Phil Silvers Show," "Car 54, Where Are You?" and more.
I laughed out loud watching "Taxi" and the Rev. Jim Ignatowski, the burned-out, counter-culture cabbie portrayed brilliantly by Christopher Lloyd. On "The Honeymooners," Ralph Kramden's eyes bulged out and he screamed in pain after a mouse trap snapped down on his fingers, and I belly laughed as if Iwatching it for the first time. As Sgt. Schultz bumbled his way through another day in a Nazi prison camp during World War II, I laughed even more.
As I did, I felt a rumbling beside me. It was our 12-year-old son busting a gut laughing. He was born nearly a half century after one of those shows, a third of a century after another and almost a quarter century after the other. Funny, he proved, transcends time.
The moment I found out my satellite provider began offering MeTV, I considered giving my employer two weeks' notice. I was afraid I'd never leave the house again because of all the funny on my screen. My wife didn't think that was funny at all.
Does nostalgia play a part into my love of old comedies? Sure. Those programs and all that funny remind me of sitting with my late father, who loved TV comedy the way politicians love navy suits. But as my son's aching sides proved, funny has no expiration date.
Unlike today's comedies. And that's nothing to laugh about.
Ice--Cold power struggle
Now is not the winter of our discontent.
Now is the winter of our stressed -to-the-max, pull-out-our-hair, if -we-get-more-snow-I'll-move-to-Flordia ----- because we have lost heat, electric, and Internet, and we have salted, shoveled, and plowed through snow, sleet, and ice.
But to me, the problem isn't heat.
It's ventilation.
As in, we need to vent about how much this winter sucks.
Who says talking about the weather is boring?
I'm lucky enough to have a generator, but it didn't work in the beginning, even though it cost a small fortune. Then when I finally got it working, I had light and heat only in the kitchen, where I had a laptop and a refrigerator.
And a burglar alarm.
To protect the refrigerator.
Also, I had a book deadline, because I arrange my book deadlines to occur at the worst possible times for my continued solvency.
I got enough propane refills to keep me working for six days, during which I had no Internet or cable and no communication with the outside world ------ except when I called my electric company, which was very concerned about my power outage. I know, because their recorded messages that tell you how much they care about you.
It's like the worst marriage ever ----- to a really controlling robot.
Every day, the recording told me my power would be restored in two days.
Then I realized that no matter when I called it was always two days.
Every night I called and followed its mechanical prompts to plug in my phone number, tell it I was still out of power, and find out when my power would be back. And every day, the recording told me that my power would be restored in two days. Then I realized that no matter when I called, it always said the power would be on in two days.
It wasn't a deadline.
It was a dead lie.
Two days turned out to be like the tricky 20 minutes they tell you to stay on the phone for technical support, or to wait for a table in a restaurant, or to fill out this simple and easy credit application.
We are all rendered powerless by our power company.
They win every power struggle.
Because they have the power.
Day after day, I stuck it out, living in my coat and forehead flashlight like a demented gynecologist.
When the eight day came, I made my deadline, but I still had no Internet connection and couldn't e-mail my book to my publisher.
So I packed my laptop and fled to Daughter Francesca's apartment in New York City, which always has power.
It's a powerful town.
You know why New York always has heat, light, and shoveled sidewalks?
Lawyers.
Every building owner knows he will get his butt sued if you fall on yours.
As a result, snow is salted, shoveled, and plowed before it hits the ground. Really, people are hired to run around and catch snowflakes in their cupped hands.
The lawyers keep New York hermetically sealed in a cushioned bubble, like Planet Manhattan, and the only problem with Planet Manhattan is that no one there wants to hear you vent.
They will listen for about one minute ------ the proverbial New York minute.
So I e-mailed my book to my publisher, met my deadline, and kissed my beloved daughter goodbye.
I came home to Pennsylvania, where I'm happy to listen to you vent.
Go for it.
Now is the winter of our stressed -to-the-max, pull-out-our-hair, if -we-get-more-snow-I'll-move-to-Flordia ----- because we have lost heat, electric, and Internet, and we have salted, shoveled, and plowed through snow, sleet, and ice.
But to me, the problem isn't heat.
It's ventilation.
As in, we need to vent about how much this winter sucks.
Who says talking about the weather is boring?
I'm lucky enough to have a generator, but it didn't work in the beginning, even though it cost a small fortune. Then when I finally got it working, I had light and heat only in the kitchen, where I had a laptop and a refrigerator.
And a burglar alarm.
To protect the refrigerator.
Also, I had a book deadline, because I arrange my book deadlines to occur at the worst possible times for my continued solvency.
I got enough propane refills to keep me working for six days, during which I had no Internet or cable and no communication with the outside world ------ except when I called my electric company, which was very concerned about my power outage. I know, because their recorded messages that tell you how much they care about you.
It's like the worst marriage ever ----- to a really controlling robot.
Every day, the recording told me my power would be restored in two days.
Then I realized that no matter when I called it was always two days.
Every night I called and followed its mechanical prompts to plug in my phone number, tell it I was still out of power, and find out when my power would be back. And every day, the recording told me that my power would be restored in two days. Then I realized that no matter when I called, it always said the power would be on in two days.
It wasn't a deadline.
It was a dead lie.
Two days turned out to be like the tricky 20 minutes they tell you to stay on the phone for technical support, or to wait for a table in a restaurant, or to fill out this simple and easy credit application.
We are all rendered powerless by our power company.
They win every power struggle.
Because they have the power.
Day after day, I stuck it out, living in my coat and forehead flashlight like a demented gynecologist.
When the eight day came, I made my deadline, but I still had no Internet connection and couldn't e-mail my book to my publisher.
So I packed my laptop and fled to Daughter Francesca's apartment in New York City, which always has power.
It's a powerful town.
You know why New York always has heat, light, and shoveled sidewalks?
Lawyers.
Every building owner knows he will get his butt sued if you fall on yours.
As a result, snow is salted, shoveled, and plowed before it hits the ground. Really, people are hired to run around and catch snowflakes in their cupped hands.
The lawyers keep New York hermetically sealed in a cushioned bubble, like Planet Manhattan, and the only problem with Planet Manhattan is that no one there wants to hear you vent.
They will listen for about one minute ------ the proverbial New York minute.
So I e-mailed my book to my publisher, met my deadline, and kissed my beloved daughter goodbye.
I came home to Pennsylvania, where I'm happy to listen to you vent.
Go for it.
100 years takes the Kake
A beloved Philadelphia bakery is celebrating a century in business with ----- what else? -----birthday kake.
Tastykake marked its 100th anniversary on Tuesday Feb. 25th. The maker of treats such as Butterscotch Krimpets and Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes held festivities at its Navy Yard headquarters.
Employees also made 100 deliveries of tasty sweets to charities and first responders throughout the city. In addition, the snack company will introduce a limited edition Birthday Kake Cupkake.
Tastykake made 100 cakes on its first day of business in 1914. Now, it produces nearly 5 million cakes, doughnuts, cookies and pies each day.
Tasty Baking Co. became part of Georgia-based Flowers Food Inc. in 2011.
Tastykake marked its 100th anniversary on Tuesday Feb. 25th. The maker of treats such as Butterscotch Krimpets and Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes held festivities at its Navy Yard headquarters.
Employees also made 100 deliveries of tasty sweets to charities and first responders throughout the city. In addition, the snack company will introduce a limited edition Birthday Kake Cupkake.
Tastykake made 100 cakes on its first day of business in 1914. Now, it produces nearly 5 million cakes, doughnuts, cookies and pies each day.
Tasty Baking Co. became part of Georgia-based Flowers Food Inc. in 2011.
F. Y. I.
Heads Up
The penny was the first U.S. coin to feature the likeness of an actual person.
Point of Distinction
Panama is the only place in the world where you can see the sun rise on the Pacific and set on the Atlantic.
Quotable
by Carl Reiner, American actor, director, producer and writer.
"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
Still on the Books
In Hartford, Conn., dogs may not be educated.
Back Then
At the first Olympic Games in 776 BCE, the top athletes were crowned with wreaths made of olive leaves.
Words of Change
When the word "bully" first entered the English language in the mid-1500s, it was as a gender-neutral term for "sweetheart" or "darling."
The penny was the first U.S. coin to feature the likeness of an actual person.
Point of Distinction
Panama is the only place in the world where you can see the sun rise on the Pacific and set on the Atlantic.
Quotable
by Carl Reiner, American actor, director, producer and writer.
"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."
Still on the Books
In Hartford, Conn., dogs may not be educated.
Back Then
At the first Olympic Games in 776 BCE, the top athletes were crowned with wreaths made of olive leaves.
Words of Change
When the word "bully" first entered the English language in the mid-1500s, it was as a gender-neutral term for "sweetheart" or "darling."
Kennections
All five correct answers have something in common.
Can you figure out what it is ?
1. What financial landmark at 11 Wall Street had to close for two full days in 2012 due to Hurricane Sandy?
2. The Hindu god Vishnu is usually drawn with four of what body part?
3. What annual Memorial Day weekend race always ends with the winner enjoying a bottle of milk?
4. What nickname did Francine Barker use when she and singing partner Herb had the No. 1 hit "Reunited" in 1979?
5. Amsterdam's Royal Concertgebouw and the Berlin and Vienna Philharmonics are often ranked as the world's three best what?
Bonus : What's the "Kennection" between all five answers?
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Answers : 1. The New York Stock Exchange
2. Arms
3. The Indianapolis 500
4. Peaches
5. Orchestras
Bonus : All have Pits
Can you figure out what it is ?
1. What financial landmark at 11 Wall Street had to close for two full days in 2012 due to Hurricane Sandy?
2. The Hindu god Vishnu is usually drawn with four of what body part?
3. What annual Memorial Day weekend race always ends with the winner enjoying a bottle of milk?
4. What nickname did Francine Barker use when she and singing partner Herb had the No. 1 hit "Reunited" in 1979?
5. Amsterdam's Royal Concertgebouw and the Berlin and Vienna Philharmonics are often ranked as the world's three best what?
Bonus : What's the "Kennection" between all five answers?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers : 1. The New York Stock Exchange
2. Arms
3. The Indianapolis 500
4. Peaches
5. Orchestras
Bonus : All have Pits
Saturday, February 22, 2014
The 1946 World Series : One of Baseball's Greatest
The World Series being played this week by the St. Louis Cardinals and the Boston Red Sox is for me a real memory-jogger of another World Series involving the same two clubs way back in 1946.
That seven-game series, featuring the two best teams in baseball 67 years ago, was one of the greatest in my recollection.
It was the culmination of the first full season following the end of World War II ------- and the first when all the major stars of what was then truly "America's National Pastime" were back from military service.
It was an event baseball's starved fans ------- and, in my case, just about everyone I knew ----- had been dreaming about for nearly five years.
And it was a series in which the lineups of the two opposing teams each contained one of baseball's all-time great hitters ------ Ted Williams of the Red Sox and Stan Musial of the Cardinals.
In 1946, I was a 15-year-old sophomore in high school and, like most of my friends, a true baseball fanatic. In my old Kensington neighborhood, most of us were fans of either the Red Sox or the New York Yankees.
That was because both the Phillies and the Athletics were perennial losers, usually winding up in last place in their respective leagues, and the Red Sox and Yankees each had several future Hall of Fame players, such as Williams and Joe DiMaggio.
While I was disappointed the Yankees (then my favorite) had not won that first post-war pennant, I was still anxious to see what the heavily favored Red Sox would do in the much-anticipated World Series.
Going into the series, the Sox, who had finished 12 games ahead of the second-place Detroit Tigers to win the American League pennant, were led by left fielder Williams, easily recognized today as one of the two or three greatest hitters in the history of the game.
In 1941, Williams had batted .406, an average that has not since been approached, and in 1942, his last season before becoming a World War II Marine Corps aviator, he had won the Triple Crown, leading the American league in batting, home runs batted in.
Now in his first year back from wartime service, he had finished the season with a .342 batting average and 38 home runs, and had been voted the Most Valuable Player in the American League. In the All-Star game that July, his four hits (which included two home runs) and a walk and five runs batted in had electrified the nation.
In addition to Williams, the Red Sox lineup included shortstop Johnny Pesky and outfielder Dominic DiMaggio (Joe's kid brother) with .335 and .316 batting averages, respectively, and a pitching staff headed by 25-game winner Dave Ferris and Tex Hughson, who had won 20 games.
While the Cardinals were never expected to win over the powerful Red Sox, they were certainly no slouches.
In a tight National League pennant race, and playing strong hit-and-run baseball, the Cardinals had managed to finish the season just two games ahead of the very tough Brooklyn Dodgers.
Led by Musial, their superstar left fielder who had hit .365 that year and whose batting average didn't drop below .310 in his first 16 seasons in baseball, the Cardinals' lineup also included third baseman Whitey Kurowski, who had hit .301, and outfielder Enos Slaughter (a .300 average). Howie Pollett with 21 wins was the ace of the pitching staff.
The series started off as expected, with the Red Sox winning the first game at Sportsman's Park in St. Louis by a score of 3-2 on a 10th-inning home run by Red Sox first baseman Rudy York.
The next afternoon in Game Two, the Cardinals came back to win with pitcher Harry Brecheen throwing a 2-0 shutout.
For Game Three, the teams moved to Boston's Fenway Park where Ferris shut out the Cardinals, 4-0, and York hit another home run.
The next two games at Fenway were split decisions, with the Cardinals winning, 12-3, and the Sox topping them the following day, 6-3.
With the Sox up by a game, the teams returned to St. Louis where pitcher Brecheen would post his second victory by 4-1 in a must-win situation, tying the series at three games each.
Now with their ace Ferris on the mound in St. Louis, the Sox were expected to wrap up the seventh game and the series.
But after a shaky start, Ferris was removed, and in the bottom of the eight inning and the score tied at 3, the Cardinals' Slaughter singled, but appeared to be stranded on first base when the next two batters failed to advance him. With two out, Harry Walker slapped a pitch into left field. Left fielder Leon Culberson fielded the ball and relayed it quickly to shortstop Pesky.
Unfortunately for the Red Sox, Pesky, unaware Slaughter had rounded third base line, momentarily held the ball before firing it home, and Slaughter scored what would be the winning run, giving the Cardinals a four-games-to-three series victory and the championship.
In the role of relief pitcher, Brecheen recorded his third win of the post-season.
A month later, while attending a local college football game and seeing a running back fumble the ball, Pesky would reportedly hear a disgruntled Red Sox fan shout : "You need Pesky in the lineup. He'll hold the ball."
That 1946 Cardinals' victory over the Red Sox was considered one of the greatest upsets in World Series history. One reason for the Red Sox collapse offered by many of the team's supporters was Williams' lack of hitting. He had only five hits in 25 at-bats for a .200 average.
Yet few realized that in an exhibition game just a few days prior to the first game of the series, Williams had been hit in the elbow with a wild pitch, and following his removal from the game, his entire arm had become swollen.
Ironically, it would be the only World Series Williams would get to play in, and his performance was one he would regret for the rest of his life.
That seven-game series, featuring the two best teams in baseball 67 years ago, was one of the greatest in my recollection.
It was the culmination of the first full season following the end of World War II ------- and the first when all the major stars of what was then truly "America's National Pastime" were back from military service.
It was an event baseball's starved fans ------- and, in my case, just about everyone I knew ----- had been dreaming about for nearly five years.
And it was a series in which the lineups of the two opposing teams each contained one of baseball's all-time great hitters ------ Ted Williams of the Red Sox and Stan Musial of the Cardinals.
In 1946, I was a 15-year-old sophomore in high school and, like most of my friends, a true baseball fanatic. In my old Kensington neighborhood, most of us were fans of either the Red Sox or the New York Yankees.
That was because both the Phillies and the Athletics were perennial losers, usually winding up in last place in their respective leagues, and the Red Sox and Yankees each had several future Hall of Fame players, such as Williams and Joe DiMaggio.
While I was disappointed the Yankees (then my favorite) had not won that first post-war pennant, I was still anxious to see what the heavily favored Red Sox would do in the much-anticipated World Series.
Going into the series, the Sox, who had finished 12 games ahead of the second-place Detroit Tigers to win the American League pennant, were led by left fielder Williams, easily recognized today as one of the two or three greatest hitters in the history of the game.
In 1941, Williams had batted .406, an average that has not since been approached, and in 1942, his last season before becoming a World War II Marine Corps aviator, he had won the Triple Crown, leading the American league in batting, home runs batted in.
Now in his first year back from wartime service, he had finished the season with a .342 batting average and 38 home runs, and had been voted the Most Valuable Player in the American League. In the All-Star game that July, his four hits (which included two home runs) and a walk and five runs batted in had electrified the nation.
In addition to Williams, the Red Sox lineup included shortstop Johnny Pesky and outfielder Dominic DiMaggio (Joe's kid brother) with .335 and .316 batting averages, respectively, and a pitching staff headed by 25-game winner Dave Ferris and Tex Hughson, who had won 20 games.
While the Cardinals were never expected to win over the powerful Red Sox, they were certainly no slouches.
In a tight National League pennant race, and playing strong hit-and-run baseball, the Cardinals had managed to finish the season just two games ahead of the very tough Brooklyn Dodgers.
Led by Musial, their superstar left fielder who had hit .365 that year and whose batting average didn't drop below .310 in his first 16 seasons in baseball, the Cardinals' lineup also included third baseman Whitey Kurowski, who had hit .301, and outfielder Enos Slaughter (a .300 average). Howie Pollett with 21 wins was the ace of the pitching staff.
The series started off as expected, with the Red Sox winning the first game at Sportsman's Park in St. Louis by a score of 3-2 on a 10th-inning home run by Red Sox first baseman Rudy York.
The next afternoon in Game Two, the Cardinals came back to win with pitcher Harry Brecheen throwing a 2-0 shutout.
For Game Three, the teams moved to Boston's Fenway Park where Ferris shut out the Cardinals, 4-0, and York hit another home run.
The next two games at Fenway were split decisions, with the Cardinals winning, 12-3, and the Sox topping them the following day, 6-3.
With the Sox up by a game, the teams returned to St. Louis where pitcher Brecheen would post his second victory by 4-1 in a must-win situation, tying the series at three games each.
Now with their ace Ferris on the mound in St. Louis, the Sox were expected to wrap up the seventh game and the series.
But after a shaky start, Ferris was removed, and in the bottom of the eight inning and the score tied at 3, the Cardinals' Slaughter singled, but appeared to be stranded on first base when the next two batters failed to advance him. With two out, Harry Walker slapped a pitch into left field. Left fielder Leon Culberson fielded the ball and relayed it quickly to shortstop Pesky.
Unfortunately for the Red Sox, Pesky, unaware Slaughter had rounded third base line, momentarily held the ball before firing it home, and Slaughter scored what would be the winning run, giving the Cardinals a four-games-to-three series victory and the championship.
In the role of relief pitcher, Brecheen recorded his third win of the post-season.
A month later, while attending a local college football game and seeing a running back fumble the ball, Pesky would reportedly hear a disgruntled Red Sox fan shout : "You need Pesky in the lineup. He'll hold the ball."
That 1946 Cardinals' victory over the Red Sox was considered one of the greatest upsets in World Series history. One reason for the Red Sox collapse offered by many of the team's supporters was Williams' lack of hitting. He had only five hits in 25 at-bats for a .200 average.
Yet few realized that in an exhibition game just a few days prior to the first game of the series, Williams had been hit in the elbow with a wild pitch, and following his removal from the game, his entire arm had become swollen.
Ironically, it would be the only World Series Williams would get to play in, and his performance was one he would regret for the rest of his life.
Good Old Days'
Nostalgia fine; modern world is, too.
I Love Email ----- fast and accurate and providing me with a copy of what I sent. (It also provides prosecutors with copies, as Gov. Chris Christie's former aides have learned.)
Cellphones can do everything from surf the net to make videos and there's an app for frying oysters. [No, there isn't.]
The Internet is an amazing universe that has made many of our jobs easier. New cars are far more reliable than old cars and they practically take care of themselves ------ and speak to you when something is wrong. Some even park themselves.
Jets beat propellers and the array of musical choices has never been wider. There's a cable-TV channel to cater to almost every interest, from golf to gay. Smart TVs select shows for you.
For many of us, these are the Good Old Days.
But modernity is not without problems, such as cyber bullies, loss of privacy and "free time" vanishing into the maw of social media. As we have moved forward, we have left things behind, some of them valuable (like civility).
Let's open a gaily decorated box marked "memories." Inside are some from my own brain pan, some from friends and readers, plus a few that are from the Internet. Some are good memories, some not so good.
I remember when .........
Subways and buses accepted change and it didn't have to be exact.
Smoking was allowed on trains and planes.
Movie theaters had balconies.
Cars had running boards.
Airline passengers could buy a ticket and walk right into the plane without being searched, X-rayed or have their crotch sniffed by a German shepherd.
I remember when ..........
Women wore nylons that came in two separate pieces, one for each leg, held up by garters attached to a garter belt. (Don't get me started on garter belts.) Panty hose ---- the dream of women, the nightmare of men ----- came later.
Nearly all moms were home when the kids returned from school. That was when dad's solo salary was enough to finance a middle-class life. It's fine if women want to work ----- they certainly pretty up the office (and win Pulitzer Prizes) ------ but most women need to work today. Something screwy has happened to the American economy.
I remember when ..........
People stepped into a phone booth -------- and closed the door ------ to make a phone call, instead of yakking away from the seat next to you on SEPTA.
Public phones accepted coins, not phone cards. Now it's hard to find a public phone that takes coins. Matter of fact, it's hard to find a public phone.
Telephone numbers were easier to remember because the exchange started with a word : Pennypacker 5-6920. Now phone numbers are 10 digits and defy memorization.
Pizza was not delivered.
Milk was. It came in glass bottles, with cardboard lids.
Like milk, doctors came to your home. Yes, they did.
I remember when ...........
Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family had to be something better than not having their email addresses.
Parents didn't drive kids to soccer practice because no one played soccer.
Only kids rode bicycles, before they moved from being fun to being a cause.
Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
The '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car --------- to cruise, peel out or watch submarine races. Girls made out, didn't put out.
Newspapers were healthy and highly regarded.
As Forrest Gump might say, that's all I want to say about that.
I Love Email ----- fast and accurate and providing me with a copy of what I sent. (It also provides prosecutors with copies, as Gov. Chris Christie's former aides have learned.)
Cellphones can do everything from surf the net to make videos and there's an app for frying oysters. [No, there isn't.]
The Internet is an amazing universe that has made many of our jobs easier. New cars are far more reliable than old cars and they practically take care of themselves ------ and speak to you when something is wrong. Some even park themselves.
Jets beat propellers and the array of musical choices has never been wider. There's a cable-TV channel to cater to almost every interest, from golf to gay. Smart TVs select shows for you.
For many of us, these are the Good Old Days.
But modernity is not without problems, such as cyber bullies, loss of privacy and "free time" vanishing into the maw of social media. As we have moved forward, we have left things behind, some of them valuable (like civility).
Let's open a gaily decorated box marked "memories." Inside are some from my own brain pan, some from friends and readers, plus a few that are from the Internet. Some are good memories, some not so good.
I remember when .........
Subways and buses accepted change and it didn't have to be exact.
Smoking was allowed on trains and planes.
Movie theaters had balconies.
Cars had running boards.
Airline passengers could buy a ticket and walk right into the plane without being searched, X-rayed or have their crotch sniffed by a German shepherd.
I remember when ..........
Women wore nylons that came in two separate pieces, one for each leg, held up by garters attached to a garter belt. (Don't get me started on garter belts.) Panty hose ---- the dream of women, the nightmare of men ----- came later.
Nearly all moms were home when the kids returned from school. That was when dad's solo salary was enough to finance a middle-class life. It's fine if women want to work ----- they certainly pretty up the office (and win Pulitzer Prizes) ------ but most women need to work today. Something screwy has happened to the American economy.
I remember when ..........
People stepped into a phone booth -------- and closed the door ------ to make a phone call, instead of yakking away from the seat next to you on SEPTA.
Public phones accepted coins, not phone cards. Now it's hard to find a public phone that takes coins. Matter of fact, it's hard to find a public phone.
Telephone numbers were easier to remember because the exchange started with a word : Pennypacker 5-6920. Now phone numbers are 10 digits and defy memorization.
Pizza was not delivered.
Milk was. It came in glass bottles, with cardboard lids.
Like milk, doctors came to your home. Yes, they did.
I remember when ...........
Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family had to be something better than not having their email addresses.
Parents didn't drive kids to soccer practice because no one played soccer.
Only kids rode bicycles, before they moved from being fun to being a cause.
Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
The '57 Chevy was everyone's dream car --------- to cruise, peel out or watch submarine races. Girls made out, didn't put out.
Newspapers were healthy and highly regarded.
As Forrest Gump might say, that's all I want to say about that.
Earthweek: A Diary of the Planets (Feb. 14, 2014)
Carbon Warming
Britain's national weather service says there is no longer any doubt that recent larger and more damaging storms are connected to a warming global climate. Much of the U.K. is suffering from the worst in a series of inundations that have submerged vast tracts of the nation during the past three years. A barrage of winter storms in recent months has seen some flood-weary communities swamped more than once. While the Met Office's chief scientist, Dame Julia Slingo, says it is not possible to blame any specific storm on global warming, she said a trend toward more volatile weather patterns due to climate change is clear. Slingo's comments came just before Australian researchers announced that human greenhouse gas emissions were the likely cause of last year's record-breaking heat in the country. Climate experts Sophie Lewis and David Karoly told the Australian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society's annual conference that human activities, particularly emissions of carbon dioxide, are clearly to blame for the record heat.
Ecuadoran Eruption
Ash from powerful blasts at Ecuador's Tungurahua volcano has damaged crops around the towering mountain, causing a produce shortage and higher food prices for residents. Thousands of acres of farmland have been damaged by the volcanic debris, including pastures that were the main source of food for 110,000 head of livestock. Panicked farmers were forced to harvest tomatoes, potatoes and corn before the crops reached maturity. The volcano roared to life on Feb. 2, sending a giant plume of ash soaring 8 miles above the Andes and pyroclastic clouds cascading down Tungurahua's slopes.
Whoopers Shot
Three of North America's 600 whooping cranes were killed by gunshots over the past few months with the latest found shot dead in southwestern Louisiana on Feb. 7. A pair of lifelong mates was shot in Kentucky during November. One of the birds survived but was later euthanized after rehabilitation efforts failed. Whooping cranes are America's tallest birds and were once a common sight across parts of the country. But by the 1940s, the use of the pesticide DDT, hunting and habitat loss wiped out all but 14 of the birds. Careful breeding has restored some of the population, but numbers are still sufficiently low that shootings, drought and other factors can pose a dire threat to the species' survival. Only 13 are released into the wild each year by the conservationists who supervise their captive breeding.
Giant Jelly
A huge specimen of an unnamed species of jellyfish washed up on a beach south of Hobart, Australia, last month. A photo taken of the nearly 5-foot-wide creature by Josie Lim after her family came across it caught the attention of experts at the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (CSIRO), who are in the process of naming the new type of lion's mane jelly. These jellyfish "look like a dinner plate with a mop hanging underneath.......they have a really raggedy look to them," said CSIRO expert Lisa-ann Gershwin. She called the find a "truly magnificent animal." Recent years had seen huge blooms of jellyfish in Tasmanian waters, and Gershwin says scientists are not sure why. She told reporters that such a population explosion is likely to be having a significant impact on the marine ecosystem off southeastern Australia.
Tropical Cyclone
Tropical storm-force Cyclone Fobane churned the open waters of the Indian Ocean. It later dissipated to the south of Rodrigues Island after menacing remote shipping lanes for nearly a week.
Earthquakes
Western China's Xinjiang region was rocked for nearly a minute by a powerful temblor that toppled almost 150 homes and damaged 3,300 others in Yutian county.
* A relatively weak tremor in central Oklahoma caused minor damage to the Logan County Jail in Guthrie. The region experiences frequent light earthquakes.
* Earth movements were also felt in Hollywood, western British Columbia, southeastern Massachusetts, southeastern Azerbaijan and northeastern Japan.
Squirrel Poaching
A new Russian fad of nabbing squirrels out of parks to keep them as pets has officials threatening large fines for those who continue to squirrel away the animals. Some nature lovers say they are outraged by the poaching, which has led to Moscow's Ecological Control unit beefing up survelillance in the city's parks to protect the wildlife. People who collect the bushy-tailed animals can resell them as pets for about 5,000 rubles ($144). Tears welling in her eyes, Alexandra Mishenko, a retiree who feeds the squirrels in Moscow's parks, told The Associated Press: "We should gather people together and pelt the person who does that with snow."
Britain's national weather service says there is no longer any doubt that recent larger and more damaging storms are connected to a warming global climate. Much of the U.K. is suffering from the worst in a series of inundations that have submerged vast tracts of the nation during the past three years. A barrage of winter storms in recent months has seen some flood-weary communities swamped more than once. While the Met Office's chief scientist, Dame Julia Slingo, says it is not possible to blame any specific storm on global warming, she said a trend toward more volatile weather patterns due to climate change is clear. Slingo's comments came just before Australian researchers announced that human greenhouse gas emissions were the likely cause of last year's record-breaking heat in the country. Climate experts Sophie Lewis and David Karoly told the Australian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society's annual conference that human activities, particularly emissions of carbon dioxide, are clearly to blame for the record heat.
Ecuadoran Eruption
Ash from powerful blasts at Ecuador's Tungurahua volcano has damaged crops around the towering mountain, causing a produce shortage and higher food prices for residents. Thousands of acres of farmland have been damaged by the volcanic debris, including pastures that were the main source of food for 110,000 head of livestock. Panicked farmers were forced to harvest tomatoes, potatoes and corn before the crops reached maturity. The volcano roared to life on Feb. 2, sending a giant plume of ash soaring 8 miles above the Andes and pyroclastic clouds cascading down Tungurahua's slopes.
Whoopers Shot
Three of North America's 600 whooping cranes were killed by gunshots over the past few months with the latest found shot dead in southwestern Louisiana on Feb. 7. A pair of lifelong mates was shot in Kentucky during November. One of the birds survived but was later euthanized after rehabilitation efforts failed. Whooping cranes are America's tallest birds and were once a common sight across parts of the country. But by the 1940s, the use of the pesticide DDT, hunting and habitat loss wiped out all but 14 of the birds. Careful breeding has restored some of the population, but numbers are still sufficiently low that shootings, drought and other factors can pose a dire threat to the species' survival. Only 13 are released into the wild each year by the conservationists who supervise their captive breeding.
Giant Jelly
A huge specimen of an unnamed species of jellyfish washed up on a beach south of Hobart, Australia, last month. A photo taken of the nearly 5-foot-wide creature by Josie Lim after her family came across it caught the attention of experts at the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (CSIRO), who are in the process of naming the new type of lion's mane jelly. These jellyfish "look like a dinner plate with a mop hanging underneath.......they have a really raggedy look to them," said CSIRO expert Lisa-ann Gershwin. She called the find a "truly magnificent animal." Recent years had seen huge blooms of jellyfish in Tasmanian waters, and Gershwin says scientists are not sure why. She told reporters that such a population explosion is likely to be having a significant impact on the marine ecosystem off southeastern Australia.
Tropical Cyclone
Tropical storm-force Cyclone Fobane churned the open waters of the Indian Ocean. It later dissipated to the south of Rodrigues Island after menacing remote shipping lanes for nearly a week.
Earthquakes
Western China's Xinjiang region was rocked for nearly a minute by a powerful temblor that toppled almost 150 homes and damaged 3,300 others in Yutian county.
* A relatively weak tremor in central Oklahoma caused minor damage to the Logan County Jail in Guthrie. The region experiences frequent light earthquakes.
* Earth movements were also felt in Hollywood, western British Columbia, southeastern Massachusetts, southeastern Azerbaijan and northeastern Japan.
Squirrel Poaching
A new Russian fad of nabbing squirrels out of parks to keep them as pets has officials threatening large fines for those who continue to squirrel away the animals. Some nature lovers say they are outraged by the poaching, which has led to Moscow's Ecological Control unit beefing up survelillance in the city's parks to protect the wildlife. People who collect the bushy-tailed animals can resell them as pets for about 5,000 rubles ($144). Tears welling in her eyes, Alexandra Mishenko, a retiree who feeds the squirrels in Moscow's parks, told The Associated Press: "We should gather people together and pelt the person who does that with snow."
Friday, February 21, 2014
Earthweek: A Diary of the Planets (Feb. 7, 2014)
Drought Evacuation
Residents of a gritty cowboy and mining town in Australia's Queensland State may have to pack up and leave because of a protracted drought that has nearly exhausted their water supply. Cloncurry's mayor, Andrew Daniels, says that after two dry years, the community may have to switch to water from bore holes, which will require people to boil it for consumption. If those sources dry up, he says all 3,000residents could ;have to hit the road. "It's scary thought, but I'm hoping and praying that rain comes before we have to get to that," Daniels told the Australian Associated Press. In 2008, Cloncurry brought water in by rail from Mount Isa, 75 miles away. But that's not possible during this drought because the outback neighbor is also considering evacuation as a last resort.
Dolphin Mystery
More than 400 dead dolphins have washed up over the past month on some of the same beaches in northern Peru where scientists were never able to determine what killed some 850 of the animals in 2012. IMARPE, the Peruvian Sea Institute, says 220 of the dead marine mammals were found during the last week of Januaru alone. Marine biologists say determining what's killing the dolphins is difficult because their laboratories have only three or four of the approximately 100 chemicals available to solve the mystery. But one institute official says the animals may have died from ingesting toxic algae. Peru's Organization for the Conservation of Aquatic Animals theorized in 2012 that the deaths were caused by ship sonar blasts used for seabed oil exploration, based on the damage found in some of the dolphins' middle ear bones.
Tropical Cyclones
Tropical Storm Kajiki killed three people as it cut through the same part of the Philippines devastated by Typhoon Haiyan late last year.
* New Caledonia was drenched by Cyclone Edna, the second such storm to strike the French territory from the Coral Sea in less than three weeks.
* Tropical Storm Edilson passed to the east of Mauritius and Reunion in the western Indian Ocean.
Lava Victims
Efforts to allow people to return to their homes near a Sumatran volcano after months in evacuation centers proved deadly when the mountain exploded without warning a day after they went home. Sixteen people perished when Mount Sinabung produced a series of blasts that showered villages, farms and trees with a thick, gray ash. Local disaster officials said most of the victims were burned by lava bombs that fell on the village of Sukameriah. It was inside a 3-mile danger zone around Sinabung's crater where evacuees had not yet been told to return, but many locals have regularly gone back to check on their belongings.
Earthquakes
The far western Greek island of Kefalonia was hit by a powerful aftershock of a comparable quake that damaged dozens of buildings there just a week earlier. Thousands of residents had been living with relatives or in ships because they felt it was unsafe at home due to ongoing aftershocks.
* Earth movements were also felt in southern Iran, northern Borneo, the New Zealand city of Christchurch, northern Cuba and the Florida Keys, northwestern Washington and southern Kansas.
Climate Fatalities
Penquin chicks in Argentina's coastal Patagonia are being killed by chilling rains that climate change is bringing to the historically and region, along with spells of unprecedented heat. A new study shows that chicks being born on the Punta Tombo peninsula are vulnerable to hypothermia when they grow too big for their parents to keep them warm by sitting on them, and have yet to grow their waterproof feathers. Increasing rainstorms are drenching them to death. This has been the leading cause of chick deaths on the peninsula during two recent years.
Flood Control
The seemingly never-ending floods that have plagued Britain for the past several weeks for the past several weeks could be averted in the future by reintroducing beavers to the wild, a leading scientific organization advices. The animals were hunted to extinction in the U.K. during the reign of Henry VIII in the 16th century by those who wanted their fur and by landowners keen to protect their trees and fish. Manmade diversion of waterways since then has reduced the land's natural ability to hold water. One wild beaver was recently sighted in Dorset, and a trial introduction of the animals is nearly complete in Scotland. The government has considered paying farmers to hold back water in the uplands at the cost of millions of pounds per year. "The beaver could achieve the same effects for free and forever if we are bold enough to re-establish and tolerate it as a natural component of our river systems," said Marina Pacheco, the U.K. Mammal Society's chief executive.
Residents of a gritty cowboy and mining town in Australia's Queensland State may have to pack up and leave because of a protracted drought that has nearly exhausted their water supply. Cloncurry's mayor, Andrew Daniels, says that after two dry years, the community may have to switch to water from bore holes, which will require people to boil it for consumption. If those sources dry up, he says all 3,000residents could ;have to hit the road. "It's scary thought, but I'm hoping and praying that rain comes before we have to get to that," Daniels told the Australian Associated Press. In 2008, Cloncurry brought water in by rail from Mount Isa, 75 miles away. But that's not possible during this drought because the outback neighbor is also considering evacuation as a last resort.
Dolphin Mystery
More than 400 dead dolphins have washed up over the past month on some of the same beaches in northern Peru where scientists were never able to determine what killed some 850 of the animals in 2012. IMARPE, the Peruvian Sea Institute, says 220 of the dead marine mammals were found during the last week of Januaru alone. Marine biologists say determining what's killing the dolphins is difficult because their laboratories have only three or four of the approximately 100 chemicals available to solve the mystery. But one institute official says the animals may have died from ingesting toxic algae. Peru's Organization for the Conservation of Aquatic Animals theorized in 2012 that the deaths were caused by ship sonar blasts used for seabed oil exploration, based on the damage found in some of the dolphins' middle ear bones.
Tropical Cyclones
Tropical Storm Kajiki killed three people as it cut through the same part of the Philippines devastated by Typhoon Haiyan late last year.
* New Caledonia was drenched by Cyclone Edna, the second such storm to strike the French territory from the Coral Sea in less than three weeks.
* Tropical Storm Edilson passed to the east of Mauritius and Reunion in the western Indian Ocean.
Lava Victims
Efforts to allow people to return to their homes near a Sumatran volcano after months in evacuation centers proved deadly when the mountain exploded without warning a day after they went home. Sixteen people perished when Mount Sinabung produced a series of blasts that showered villages, farms and trees with a thick, gray ash. Local disaster officials said most of the victims were burned by lava bombs that fell on the village of Sukameriah. It was inside a 3-mile danger zone around Sinabung's crater where evacuees had not yet been told to return, but many locals have regularly gone back to check on their belongings.
Earthquakes
The far western Greek island of Kefalonia was hit by a powerful aftershock of a comparable quake that damaged dozens of buildings there just a week earlier. Thousands of residents had been living with relatives or in ships because they felt it was unsafe at home due to ongoing aftershocks.
* Earth movements were also felt in southern Iran, northern Borneo, the New Zealand city of Christchurch, northern Cuba and the Florida Keys, northwestern Washington and southern Kansas.
Climate Fatalities
Penquin chicks in Argentina's coastal Patagonia are being killed by chilling rains that climate change is bringing to the historically and region, along with spells of unprecedented heat. A new study shows that chicks being born on the Punta Tombo peninsula are vulnerable to hypothermia when they grow too big for their parents to keep them warm by sitting on them, and have yet to grow their waterproof feathers. Increasing rainstorms are drenching them to death. This has been the leading cause of chick deaths on the peninsula during two recent years.
Flood Control
The seemingly never-ending floods that have plagued Britain for the past several weeks for the past several weeks could be averted in the future by reintroducing beavers to the wild, a leading scientific organization advices. The animals were hunted to extinction in the U.K. during the reign of Henry VIII in the 16th century by those who wanted their fur and by landowners keen to protect their trees and fish. Manmade diversion of waterways since then has reduced the land's natural ability to hold water. One wild beaver was recently sighted in Dorset, and a trial introduction of the animals is nearly complete in Scotland. The government has considered paying farmers to hold back water in the uplands at the cost of millions of pounds per year. "The beaver could achieve the same effects for free and forever if we are bold enough to re-establish and tolerate it as a natural component of our river systems," said Marina Pacheco, the U.K. Mammal Society's chief executive.
10 Things You Didn't Know About........
In honor of Presidents Day, here are little-known tidbits about our 16th president.
Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln
- He is only president to hold a patent. Even as he worked as a "prairie lawyer" in 1848, Lincoln spent evenings on an idea for a river steamboat with accordion-like balloons mounted on the sides that could be inflated to lift the boat clear if it encountered a sandbar. The idea (U.S. Patent No. 6469) didn't take off the way Lincoln had hoped, but his drawings and hand-carved wooden model are on display at the Smithsonian Institution.
- Lincoln was a slow starter in politics. He lost his first race for the Illinois General Assembly in 1832, then went on to lose one race for the U.S. Congress, two races for the U.S. Senate, and one campaign for a vice presidential nomination. But by 1858 he was one of the key figures in the newly formed Republican Party, and in 1860 he fought his way to the Republican presidential nomination.
- Lincoln lost a case before the U.S. Supreme Court. On March 7, 1849, the prairie lawyer went before the high court in a dispute over some land that had been sold, without the true owner's knowledge, by a man who died after the transaction. The court ruled that Lincoln's client was still liable for damages in the complicated affair.
- Lincoln kept a messy desk. The clutter in his workspace was a constant source of irritation to his law partner, William Herndon, who claimed Lincoln kept some documents in an envelope marked "When you can't find it anywhere else, look into this."
- Lincoln's 1860 election victory is the poorest showing of any successful presidential candidate. As the first Republican Party candidate, he won only 39.8 percent of the popular vote, in large part because the election was a four-way race with Democrat Stephen A. Douglas, John C. Breckinridge of the Southern Democrats, and John Bell of the new Constitutional Union Party.
- Lincoln's boldness nearly got him killed during the Civil War. During the Battle of Fort Stevens in 1864, the 6-foot, 4-inch president stood in an exposed position to watch as Confederate forces attempted to reach Washington, D.C. As rebel fire cut through the air, future Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, at that time a Union captain, shouted: "Get down, you damn fool, before you get shot!"
- At the height of the Civil War, Lincoln was challenged for the presidency by one of his own generals. In the first years of the war, General George B. McClellan was so cautious and slow-moving in his use of the troops that newspapers started calling him "the Virginia Creeper." His indecisiveness led to failures on the battlefield, and gave Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee several chances to escape destruction by superior Union forces. Lincoln grew so exasperated that he demoted McClellan and finally dismissed him for insubordination. McClellan was taken up by the anti-war "Copperhead" wing of the Democratic Party, and he ran against Lincoln in the 1864 presidential campaign. Although McClellan failed to unseat Lincoln, he went on to serve as governor of New Jersey from 1878 to 1881.
- Lincoln was not the only target for assassins on April 14, 1865. On the night that John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in the presidential box at Ford's Theather, co-conspirator Lewis Powell broke into the bedroom of William Seward, the secretary of state, and stabbed him several times, but Seward survived. Lincoln's vice president, Andrew Johnson, was also targeted at the Kirkwood Hotel, but the would-be assailant, George Atzerodt, lost his nerve at the last minute.
- The Gettysburg Address was not delivered at the Gettysburg cemetery. With 51,000 casualties, the Battle of Gettysburg of July 1863 was the bloodiest battle ever fought in the Western Hemisphere. Most of the bodies had been buried in shallow graves on the farmlands where they had fallen. When Lincoln arrived to consecrate the new cemetery in November 1863, there had been so many recent reburials that a speaking platform was built in the adjacent Evergreen Cemetery.
- The Gettysburg Address lasted barely three minutes. At 272 words, the most famous speech in American history was over before some spectators had taken their seats.
10 Things You Didn't Know About .......
In honor of President Day, here are little-known tidbits about our first president.
George Washington
The information about George Washington may be found at the following sites :
George Washington's Mount Vernon ( www.mountvernon.org/georgewashington/facts), Biography.com (www.biography.com/people/georgewashington-9524786). The Constitution Center (blog.constitutioncenter.org/2013/02/10-cool-washington-facts-on-georges-real-birthday/), "Washington:A Life," by Ron Chernow (www.npr.org/templates/story.php?storyld=130625590).
George Washington
- He did not have wooden teeth. Let's get that one out of the way quickly. Although he was a man of exceptional strength and stamina, George Washington suffered from toothaches and dental troubles for most of his life. Washington wore many different partial and complete dentures made of human teeth, ivory and lead. One particularly incomfortable set consisted of a cow's tooth, some of Washington's own teeth, hippopotamus ivory, metal and springs. Although it sounds weird now, the practice of buying human teeth for dental fittings was common among wealthy individuals.
- His second inaugural address is the shortest ever given by an incoming president. The speech, delivered in the Senate Chamber of Congress Hall in Philadelphia, on March 4, 1793, was 135 words.
- Washington is the only president who did not live in Washington, D.C. He began his first term in New York City, but spent the bulk of his two terms in Philadelphia, which was the temporary national capital for 10 years while the District of Columbia was under construction.
- He is the only president who did not represent a political party, and the only president to be unanimously elected by the Electoral College, receiving all 69 votes in the 1789 and 1792 elections. (There was no popular vote at the time.)
- Washington disliked foul language, but when he used it, he made it count. The only recorded instance of Washington cursing in public came during the Battle of Monmouth (June 28, 1778), in which the Continental Army attacked withdrawing British forces as they marched toward Sandy Hook from Philadelphia. Washington's senior commander, Charles Lee, allowed a tactical withdrawal to become a rout when the British counterattacked. Washington, coming up with the main force, delivered a tongue lashing to Lee and the fleeing troops on the Monmouth main road. From all accounts, Washington acquitted himself admirably. He went onto lead the Continental Army in its first toe-to-toe battle with British regulars, while Lee faced a court-martial and the end of his military career.
- Washington is credited with saying lots of thing he didn't actually say. Fro example, "I cannot tell a lie!" was apparently invented by author Mason Locke Weems in his 1880 biography of Washington.
- Washington traveled outside the American mainland only once. When he was 19, he sailed to Barbados with his ailing brother, who hoped the island climate would help cure his tuberculosis. While in Barbados, Washington contracted smallpox, which left him with mild facial scars.
- His presidency started with an eight-day ride on horseback. Washington left his estate in Mount Vernon, Va., on April 16, 1789, to conduct a six-state triumphal journey to New York City, where he would be sworn in as the first president, Trenton and New York all held grand celebrations, and several smaller towns along the way met Washington with parades, dinners and addresses. He took his first oath of office at Federal Hall on April 30, 1789.
- Washington's religious views are hard to pin down. Although he was a deeply moral man raised in the Anglican Church, Washington doesn't seem to have been devout in contemporary terms. Many of the religious gestures attributed to him (his prayer kneeling in the snow at Valley Force, for example) turned out to be fabrications by Parson Weems and later writers.
- His military career got off to a bad start. In 1754, as a militia officer, Washington led a force to challenge the increasing French presence in the Ohio River Valley. His badly designed fortifications, dubbed Fort Necessity, could shelter only about 60 men, and the lack of a roof meant their gunpowder was soaked by rain. Roughly a third of his 300-man force was cut down, an event that helped trigger the French and Indian War (1754-63).
The information about George Washington may be found at the following sites :
George Washington's Mount Vernon ( www.mountvernon.org/georgewashington/facts), Biography.com (www.biography.com/people/georgewashington-9524786). The Constitution Center (blog.constitutioncenter.org/2013/02/10-cool-washington-facts-on-georges-real-birthday/), "Washington:A Life," by Ron Chernow (www.npr.org/templates/story.php?storyld=130625590).
Thursday, February 20, 2014
F. Y. I.
Quotable
by Henry Ford, American industrialist (1863-1947)
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."
Vital Veggie
Mark Twain described the cauliflower as a "cabbage with a college education."
The Nose Knows
Odors sniffed through the right nostril are more pleasant than those smelled through the left.
All Blown Up
A single breath from a mature blue whale can inflate up to 2,000 balloons.
Still on the Books
In Fort Madison, Iowa, the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for 15 minutes before attending a fire.
Of Note
Punctuation didn't exist until the 15th century.
by Henry Ford, American industrialist (1863-1947)
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."
Vital Veggie
Mark Twain described the cauliflower as a "cabbage with a college education."
The Nose Knows
Odors sniffed through the right nostril are more pleasant than those smelled through the left.
All Blown Up
A single breath from a mature blue whale can inflate up to 2,000 balloons.
Still on the Books
In Fort Madison, Iowa, the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for 15 minutes before attending a fire.
Of Note
Punctuation didn't exist until the 15th century.
Make a Difference
Distracted driving : What you can do.
According to the federal Department of Transportation, 3,328 Americans were killed in 2012 because of distracted-driving crashes. Among 15- to 19-year-old drivers involved in fatal crashes, 21% were distracted by the use of cellphones.
Distracted driving (defined as texting, using a cellphone or smartphone, eating and drinking, talking to passengers, grooming, reading, using a navigation system, watching a video or adjusting a radio, CD player, or MP3 player while operating a motor vehicle) is a serious safety issue for all Americans. Although adults are also at risk from this behavior, less-experienced teen drivers are particularly vulnerable to being injured or killed in a crash involving distracted driving. A new study from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute shows that young drivers may become overconfident once they've earned their licenses.
"Novice drivers are more likely to engage in high-risk secondary tasks more frequently over time as they become more comfortable with driving," Charlie Klauer, group leader for teen risk and injury prevention at the institute's Center for Vulnerable Road User Safety, recently told USA Today. "The increasingly high rates of secondary task engagement among newly licensed drivers in our study are worrisome as this appears to be an important contributing factor to crashes or near-crashes."
Here's what you can do to make the road safer for everyone :
Talk : to your teen children and grandchildren and set clear rules about safe driving and distraction behind the wheel.
Review : your jurisdiction's driving laws and make sure that everyone in the family understands the regulations and the penalties for driving while distracted.
Set : a good example by putting away the phone and other devices when you're the driver.
Download : and take the pledge to drive phone-free, and encourage others to do the same, at distraction.gov
Consider : installing a monitoring device in your teen's car. Some insurance carriers offer these along with a discount.
According to the federal Department of Transportation, 3,328 Americans were killed in 2012 because of distracted-driving crashes. Among 15- to 19-year-old drivers involved in fatal crashes, 21% were distracted by the use of cellphones.
Distracted driving (defined as texting, using a cellphone or smartphone, eating and drinking, talking to passengers, grooming, reading, using a navigation system, watching a video or adjusting a radio, CD player, or MP3 player while operating a motor vehicle) is a serious safety issue for all Americans. Although adults are also at risk from this behavior, less-experienced teen drivers are particularly vulnerable to being injured or killed in a crash involving distracted driving. A new study from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute shows that young drivers may become overconfident once they've earned their licenses.
"Novice drivers are more likely to engage in high-risk secondary tasks more frequently over time as they become more comfortable with driving," Charlie Klauer, group leader for teen risk and injury prevention at the institute's Center for Vulnerable Road User Safety, recently told USA Today. "The increasingly high rates of secondary task engagement among newly licensed drivers in our study are worrisome as this appears to be an important contributing factor to crashes or near-crashes."
Here's what you can do to make the road safer for everyone :
Talk : to your teen children and grandchildren and set clear rules about safe driving and distraction behind the wheel.
Review : your jurisdiction's driving laws and make sure that everyone in the family understands the regulations and the penalties for driving while distracted.
Set : a good example by putting away the phone and other devices when you're the driver.
Download : and take the pledge to drive phone-free, and encourage others to do the same, at distraction.gov
Consider : installing a monitoring device in your teen's car. Some insurance carriers offer these along with a discount.
Kennections
All five correct answers have something in common.
Can you figure out what it is ?
1. What was the name of Patty Lane's Scottish "identical cousin" on The Patty Duke Show?
2. What dance is used to represent the letter F in the standard radio phonetic alphabet?
3. What band called its 1979 hit "Heart of Glass" a "compromise with commerciality"?
4. What is both the nickname and the postal abbreviation for Canada's westernmost province?
5. George Washington Carver is best known for rounding up more than 300 uses for what product?
Bonus : What's the "Kennection" between all five answers?
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Answers : 1. Cathy
2. Foxtrot
3. Blondie
4. BC
5. Peanuts
Bonus : All are newspaper comics
Can you figure out what it is ?
1. What was the name of Patty Lane's Scottish "identical cousin" on The Patty Duke Show?
2. What dance is used to represent the letter F in the standard radio phonetic alphabet?
3. What band called its 1979 hit "Heart of Glass" a "compromise with commerciality"?
4. What is both the nickname and the postal abbreviation for Canada's westernmost province?
5. George Washington Carver is best known for rounding up more than 300 uses for what product?
Bonus : What's the "Kennection" between all five answers?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers : 1. Cathy
2. Foxtrot
3. Blondie
4. BC
5. Peanuts
Bonus : All are newspaper comics
Earthweek: A Diary of the Planets (Jan. 31, 2014)
Vanishing Migration
The lowest number of monarch butterflies ever recorded in their Mexican winter home has experts worrying about the future of the epic monarch migration. A new report by the World Wildlife Fund and two Mexican government agencies says this year's precipitous plunge in monarch numbers is due to the disappearance of the insect's main food: milkweed. Loss of that plant to urban sprawl and expanding agriculture is literally starving the insects to death. Recent bad weather hasn't helped. The extreme drought in the U.S. corn belt during the summer of 2012 also wiped out huge numbers of milkweeds. The black-and-orange butterflies now cover only 1.65 acres in the forests of Michoacan state, west of Mexico City. That's compared to almost 3 acres last year and more than 44.5 acres at the recorded peak in 1995.
Shark Kills
Environmental and wildlife advocates slammed Western Australia's move to begin killing sharks along the Indian Ocean coast at the southwest tip of the country in the wake of seven fatal shark attacks within the past three years. The cull comes as marine biologists worldwide warn that some sharks species are becoming endangered due to overfishing and mutilation for their fins. The Western Australia government allowed contract fishermen to place baited hooks on drum lines off popular beaches around the state capital of Perth to kill white, bull and tiger sharks over 10 feet long. The first shark killed was shot and its carcass dumped at sea. A new poll by the UMR research company finds that 82 percent of Australians don't think the sharks should be killed and say people enter the water at their own risk.
Wildlife Drones
The Ugandan Wildlife Authority (UWA) says it will start using surveillance drones to help protect elephants and other endangered animals that have come under increased threat from poachers in recent months. The unmanned aircraft are scheduled to be flying by the end of the year. UWA Executive Director Andrew Seguya told reporters that the drones will catch poachers "while in the act." More than 11,000 forest elephants were killed over the past decade in Gabon's Minkebe National Park. At least 300 elephants were poisoned last year in Zimbabwe's Hwange National Park and their tusks hacked off for the illicit ivory trade.
Ursine Adaptation
Polar bears have changed their diets over the past few years to cope with a warmer Arctic climate that has cut them off from their usual prey of ringed seal pups. Since sea ice has been melting earlier and freezing later each year, polar bears have only a short period of time to hunt the seals. This forces them to move to other food on land. Linda J. Gormezano of the American Museum of National History and the Hudson Bay Project says she and colleagues have found the bears are now eating more snow goose eggs and caribou. "The bears have also been seen eating more grass along the coast and more berries inland.
Coral Sea Cyclone
Tropical storm-force Cyclone Dylan roared onto Australia's Queenland coast late in the week. Storm-surge flooding arrived at nearly the same time that astronomical high tides also lifted ocean levels.
Earthquakes
A state of emergency was declared on the southern Grek island of Kefalonia after a 6.1 magnitude quake injured seven people and damaged buildings.
* A number of homes and other buildings were wrecked in central Java by a 6.1 magnitude quake.
* Earth movements were also felt in southeastern Iran, Costa Rica, along the Illinois-Kentucky border and along the Vermont-New Hampshire border.
Ocean Athletes
Pennsylvania and Nebraska researchers have disproved a 1936 scientific proposition that said dolphins simply aren't strong enough to swim as fast as they do, instead relying on hydrodynamic tricks for the ability. Nearly 80 years after Sir James Gray formulated the paradox, using the limited tools available then to estimate the marine mammals physiological power, modern measurements have shown that dolphins are up to 10 times stronger than some of the most accomplished human athletes. Frank Fish from West Chester University and Timothy Wei from the University of Nebraska used a tank of compressed air and a garden soaker hose to create a curtain of bubbles to measure just how brawny dolphins really are. The same technique was used to measure the performance of Olympic swimmers. Patterns left in the bubble curtain after the dolphins swam through showed that when cruising at 7.6mph, the animals generated about 1.4 times the power that a fit amateur cyclist can sustain for an hour. That swimming power rocketed almost 10 times when the dolphins accelerated rapidly.
The lowest number of monarch butterflies ever recorded in their Mexican winter home has experts worrying about the future of the epic monarch migration. A new report by the World Wildlife Fund and two Mexican government agencies says this year's precipitous plunge in monarch numbers is due to the disappearance of the insect's main food: milkweed. Loss of that plant to urban sprawl and expanding agriculture is literally starving the insects to death. Recent bad weather hasn't helped. The extreme drought in the U.S. corn belt during the summer of 2012 also wiped out huge numbers of milkweeds. The black-and-orange butterflies now cover only 1.65 acres in the forests of Michoacan state, west of Mexico City. That's compared to almost 3 acres last year and more than 44.5 acres at the recorded peak in 1995.
Shark Kills
Environmental and wildlife advocates slammed Western Australia's move to begin killing sharks along the Indian Ocean coast at the southwest tip of the country in the wake of seven fatal shark attacks within the past three years. The cull comes as marine biologists worldwide warn that some sharks species are becoming endangered due to overfishing and mutilation for their fins. The Western Australia government allowed contract fishermen to place baited hooks on drum lines off popular beaches around the state capital of Perth to kill white, bull and tiger sharks over 10 feet long. The first shark killed was shot and its carcass dumped at sea. A new poll by the UMR research company finds that 82 percent of Australians don't think the sharks should be killed and say people enter the water at their own risk.
Wildlife Drones
The Ugandan Wildlife Authority (UWA) says it will start using surveillance drones to help protect elephants and other endangered animals that have come under increased threat from poachers in recent months. The unmanned aircraft are scheduled to be flying by the end of the year. UWA Executive Director Andrew Seguya told reporters that the drones will catch poachers "while in the act." More than 11,000 forest elephants were killed over the past decade in Gabon's Minkebe National Park. At least 300 elephants were poisoned last year in Zimbabwe's Hwange National Park and their tusks hacked off for the illicit ivory trade.
Ursine Adaptation
Polar bears have changed their diets over the past few years to cope with a warmer Arctic climate that has cut them off from their usual prey of ringed seal pups. Since sea ice has been melting earlier and freezing later each year, polar bears have only a short period of time to hunt the seals. This forces them to move to other food on land. Linda J. Gormezano of the American Museum of National History and the Hudson Bay Project says she and colleagues have found the bears are now eating more snow goose eggs and caribou. "The bears have also been seen eating more grass along the coast and more berries inland.
Coral Sea Cyclone
Tropical storm-force Cyclone Dylan roared onto Australia's Queenland coast late in the week. Storm-surge flooding arrived at nearly the same time that astronomical high tides also lifted ocean levels.
Earthquakes
A state of emergency was declared on the southern Grek island of Kefalonia after a 6.1 magnitude quake injured seven people and damaged buildings.
* A number of homes and other buildings were wrecked in central Java by a 6.1 magnitude quake.
* Earth movements were also felt in southeastern Iran, Costa Rica, along the Illinois-Kentucky border and along the Vermont-New Hampshire border.
Ocean Athletes
Pennsylvania and Nebraska researchers have disproved a 1936 scientific proposition that said dolphins simply aren't strong enough to swim as fast as they do, instead relying on hydrodynamic tricks for the ability. Nearly 80 years after Sir James Gray formulated the paradox, using the limited tools available then to estimate the marine mammals physiological power, modern measurements have shown that dolphins are up to 10 times stronger than some of the most accomplished human athletes. Frank Fish from West Chester University and Timothy Wei from the University of Nebraska used a tank of compressed air and a garden soaker hose to create a curtain of bubbles to measure just how brawny dolphins really are. The same technique was used to measure the performance of Olympic swimmers. Patterns left in the bubble curtain after the dolphins swam through showed that when cruising at 7.6mph, the animals generated about 1.4 times the power that a fit amateur cyclist can sustain for an hour. That swimming power rocketed almost 10 times when the dolphins accelerated rapidly.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Diary of a snow shoveler
Try Not To Laugh!
Smirking is allowed, but no Laughing!
December 8 - 6:00PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
this afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry-----we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today.
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches ------ Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the sillest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snowplow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
Smirking is allowed, but no Laughing!
December 8 - 6:00PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
this afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry-----we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today.
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches ------ Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the sillest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snowplow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
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