Did You Know ?
The lyrics to the song "Auld Lang Syne" (Scottish for "old long ago") were written by poet Robert Burns and published after his death in 1796.
Famous First
Roman emperor Julius Caesar officially declared Jan. 1 to be a New Year in 46 B.C. January was named after the Roman god Janus who had two faces, one looking forward and the other looking backward.
Holiday Lore
It is said that if a woman looks out her bedroom window upon rising on New Year's Day and sees a man passing by, she will be married before the year is out.
Quotable
by Eugene F. Ware, lawyer and poet (1841-1911)
"All glory comes from daring to begin."
Eating for Luck
In Spain, eating 12 grapes at midnight is a popular New Year's tradition, and in Holland, it's doughnuts.
Break in Tradition
Since its inaugural descent in 1907, the New Year's Eve ball has dropped every year on Times Square except for 1942 and 1943, due to wartime restrictions.
In Other Worlds
In Columbia, Cuba and Puerto Rico, families stuff a life-size male doll with things that have bad memories or sadness associated with them, dress it up in old clothes from each family member and, at the stroke of midnight, set "Mr. Old Year" on fire.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
O CHRISTMAS TREE
The tradition of the Christmas Tree began in Germany in the 1600's. German immigrants and Hessian troops during the Revolution brought the tradition to America. In fact, legends has it that the Hessian troops were so reminded of home when a tree was candlelit in December of 1776, that they abandoned their posts to celebrate. That night George Washington and his army attacked and defeated them at the Battle of Trenton, a turning point of the American Revolution.
It wasn'tuntil the 1890's that Christmas trees and oranments became a part of the traditional American Christmas. By then one in five-American families had a Christmas tree. Twenty years later, the custom was pretty much universal in the United States.
The National Christmas Tree stands in Washington DC near the White House. It was lit for the first time by President Calvin Collidge in 1923. The tradition has lasted for the past 86 years with little variation. In 1963, following the assassination of President John Kennedy, the lighting was postponed until the 30 day period of mourning ended. In 1979, only the star on the top of the National Christmas tree in Washington was lit to honor American hostages in Iran.
Another tree, called the "Nation's Christmas Tree" is located in King's Canyon National Park near Sanger, California. The tree received its official designation in 1925. It is approximately 267 feet high, 40 feet across its base and is estimated to be between 1500 and 2000 years old. In 1956 it was also declared a shrine to honor those who served in the US Military. In their honor, Park Rangers place a wreath at its base during the Christmas ceremony held there every year since 1925.
Another very famous tree around Christmas time stands in Rockefeller Center in New York City. The tradition began in 1931 when construction workers at the Center placed a tree in the dirt at the site. That year, in the midst of the Great Depression, the tree symbolized not only Christmas but also hope and the invincible human spirit. The tree was first decorated in 1933, predating the outdoor Skating Rink it overlooks today, by 3 years. Today more than 25,000 lights grace the tree but there are no ornaments other than the star on top.
The idea of electric Christmas lights to replace candles on the Christmas tree belonged to Edward Johnson, an assistant to Thomas Edison.
The first American President to bring a Christmas tree into the White House was Franklin Pierce in 1856.
Christmas Trees are grown in allof the United States. An average acre holds about 2,000 trees. Nearly 80,000 Christmas Trees are planted each year.
It wasn'tuntil the 1890's that Christmas trees and oranments became a part of the traditional American Christmas. By then one in five-American families had a Christmas tree. Twenty years later, the custom was pretty much universal in the United States.
The National Christmas Tree stands in Washington DC near the White House. It was lit for the first time by President Calvin Collidge in 1923. The tradition has lasted for the past 86 years with little variation. In 1963, following the assassination of President John Kennedy, the lighting was postponed until the 30 day period of mourning ended. In 1979, only the star on the top of the National Christmas tree in Washington was lit to honor American hostages in Iran.
Another tree, called the "Nation's Christmas Tree" is located in King's Canyon National Park near Sanger, California. The tree received its official designation in 1925. It is approximately 267 feet high, 40 feet across its base and is estimated to be between 1500 and 2000 years old. In 1956 it was also declared a shrine to honor those who served in the US Military. In their honor, Park Rangers place a wreath at its base during the Christmas ceremony held there every year since 1925.
Another very famous tree around Christmas time stands in Rockefeller Center in New York City. The tradition began in 1931 when construction workers at the Center placed a tree in the dirt at the site. That year, in the midst of the Great Depression, the tree symbolized not only Christmas but also hope and the invincible human spirit. The tree was first decorated in 1933, predating the outdoor Skating Rink it overlooks today, by 3 years. Today more than 25,000 lights grace the tree but there are no ornaments other than the star on top.
The idea of electric Christmas lights to replace candles on the Christmas tree belonged to Edward Johnson, an assistant to Thomas Edison.
The first American President to bring a Christmas tree into the White House was Franklin Pierce in 1856.
Christmas Trees are grown in allof the United States. An average acre holds about 2,000 trees. Nearly 80,000 Christmas Trees are planted each year.
SWEET SENTIMENTS
Some words of wisdom for the Christmas Season
- Peace on earth will come to stay when we liv Christmas every day.
- Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.
- Open your presents at Christmastime but be thankful year round for the gifts you receive.
- The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
CHRISTMAS HISTORY
- In 350 AD, Pope Julius 1 declared December 25 as the official date of Christ's birth.
- In 354 AD, "Christ's Mass" was celebrated for the first time in celebration of the birthday of Jesus.
- Bells were not used at Masses until 500 AD. Until that time they were considered a pagan instrument.
- In 1601 AD, the Pope instructed churches to use greenery as decoration for Christmas celebrations. Before that time evergreens were forbidden in churches and considered a pagan symbol.
- The Church originally did not approve of Christmas carols and considered the singing of them a secular custom. It wasn't until 1223 that St. Francis of Assisi introduced carols imto the formal worship of the church during a Christmas Midnight Mass. At that Mass, the music and songs that accompanied the Mass were simple carols not hymns. The custom was greatly loved and carols are sung at liturgies to this day.
MASS AT MIDNIGHT
For Catholics around the world, Christmas would not be complete without the celebration of Christmas Mass. Actually the word "Christmas" has its origins in a contraction of the words "Christ's Mass".
Christmas is unique in that there are three different liturgies for the day, each celebrating the birth of Jesus with differing readings. The Mass at Midnight is also called the Mass of the Angels recalling the angels filling the skies over Bethlehem on that Holy Night. The Mass celebrated at dawn is called the Mass of the Shepherds as the Gospel recounts the visit of the shepherds to the Manger. The Mass of Christmas Day is known as the Mass of the Divine Word and focuses on the Divinity of Jesus.
All around the world the celebration of Christmas for Catholics begins with Midnight Mass. This long-standing custom began because the Early Church believed that Jesus was born at midnight on December 25, the Light of the World dispelling the deep darkness.
The very first Christmas Mass was celebrated honoring the birthday of Jesus in 354 AD. The first Midnight Mass wasn't celebrated until 430 AD. Pope Sixtus 3 celebrated the Mass in the newly dedicated church of St. Mary Major in Rome. The Pope had a replica of the chapel in the Grotto of the Nativity in Bethlehem where Jesus was born, included in the basilica's plans. Tradition says that the remains of the actual manger in which the Baby was laid are contained in a reliquary at St. Mary Major.
Today the Pope says Midnight Mass at St. Peter's Basilica. Before the Mass the Pope greets tens of thousands of Pilgrims awaiting his special Christmas message called "Urbi et Orbi" - "To the City and the World." The message and the Mass are broadcasted to more than 124 television networks reaching 74 countries world-wide, with 46 countries enjoying a live broadcast.
Although Midnight Mass is a large part of the celebration of Christmas in many countries, last Christmas Pope Benedict celebrated the Mass at 10pm, as a concession to his age. Many local parishes followed the Pope's example and the question, "What time is Midnight Mass?" became a valid one.
Christmas is unique in that there are three different liturgies for the day, each celebrating the birth of Jesus with differing readings. The Mass at Midnight is also called the Mass of the Angels recalling the angels filling the skies over Bethlehem on that Holy Night. The Mass celebrated at dawn is called the Mass of the Shepherds as the Gospel recounts the visit of the shepherds to the Manger. The Mass of Christmas Day is known as the Mass of the Divine Word and focuses on the Divinity of Jesus.
All around the world the celebration of Christmas for Catholics begins with Midnight Mass. This long-standing custom began because the Early Church believed that Jesus was born at midnight on December 25, the Light of the World dispelling the deep darkness.
The very first Christmas Mass was celebrated honoring the birthday of Jesus in 354 AD. The first Midnight Mass wasn't celebrated until 430 AD. Pope Sixtus 3 celebrated the Mass in the newly dedicated church of St. Mary Major in Rome. The Pope had a replica of the chapel in the Grotto of the Nativity in Bethlehem where Jesus was born, included in the basilica's plans. Tradition says that the remains of the actual manger in which the Baby was laid are contained in a reliquary at St. Mary Major.
Today the Pope says Midnight Mass at St. Peter's Basilica. Before the Mass the Pope greets tens of thousands of Pilgrims awaiting his special Christmas message called "Urbi et Orbi" - "To the City and the World." The message and the Mass are broadcasted to more than 124 television networks reaching 74 countries world-wide, with 46 countries enjoying a live broadcast.
Although Midnight Mass is a large part of the celebration of Christmas in many countries, last Christmas Pope Benedict celebrated the Mass at 10pm, as a concession to his age. Many local parishes followed the Pope's example and the question, "What time is Midnight Mass?" became a valid one.
Friday, December 24, 2010
"Whatever" voted most irritating word in poll
Whatever you think about using grating words, at the end of the day it's actually better not to say whatever, if you know what I mean.
For the second consecutive year "whatever' topped a Marist poll as the most annoying word or phrase in the English language.
Nearly 39 percent of 1,020 Americans questioned in the survey deemed it the most irritating word, followed by "like" with 28 percent and the phrase "you know what I mean' at 15 percent.
"Perhaps these words are introduced through popular culture, for example movies ... so they catch on," said Mary Azzoli, of Marist. "It has a lot to do with how accepted and how popular they become in every day speech."
Azzoli said words like "whatever" can be quite dismissive depending on how they are used.
"It's the way they are delivered and inherent in that delivery is a meaning.
The phrase "to tell you the truth" and "actually" were also unnerving to many people. But for younger Americans, aged 18 to 29, "like" was the word that annoyed them most.
For the second consecutive year "whatever' topped a Marist poll as the most annoying word or phrase in the English language.
Nearly 39 percent of 1,020 Americans questioned in the survey deemed it the most irritating word, followed by "like" with 28 percent and the phrase "you know what I mean' at 15 percent.
"Perhaps these words are introduced through popular culture, for example movies ... so they catch on," said Mary Azzoli, of Marist. "It has a lot to do with how accepted and how popular they become in every day speech."
Azzoli said words like "whatever" can be quite dismissive depending on how they are used.
"It's the way they are delivered and inherent in that delivery is a meaning.
The phrase "to tell you the truth" and "actually" were also unnerving to many people. But for younger Americans, aged 18 to 29, "like" was the word that annoyed them most.
Traffic tip for Santa: reflective reindeer collars
Norwegian reindeer owners have a Christmas safety tip for Santa -- put reflectors on his fleet-footed animals so they won't get hit by cars.
About 2,000 reindeer have been fitted this month with reflective yellow collars or small antler tags to cut down on the car crashes that now kill 500 reindeer a year and pose a danger to motorists across Arctic Norway.
"It really works," Kristian Oevernes, the leader of the project at the Norwegian Public Roads Administration, told Reuters of the project in Finnmark, where the sun does not rise in mid-winter.
A test drive on a snowmobile showed that marked reindeer were far more visible in the dark than others. Several people are injured every year in car accidents involving reindeer, and one recent accident in Finland was fatal.
"I guess so," Oevernes said, when asked if Santa might take up the safety tip.
"This is the first time it (reindeer marking) has happened on this scale."
Sami herders had tried small experiments to attach reflective tape to the animals but the glue failed in the cold. Finnish herders had also tried a reflective spray, but it reduced the fur's ability to keep out the chill.
About 200,000 reindeer live in Norway, mostly owned by Sami indigenous people who raise them for meat, skins and antlers, according to the International Center for Reindeer Husbandry.
If the new project is successful, supporters say, reindeer owners or vehicle insurance companies might be interested in buying reflectors.
About 2,000 reindeer have been fitted this month with reflective yellow collars or small antler tags to cut down on the car crashes that now kill 500 reindeer a year and pose a danger to motorists across Arctic Norway.
"It really works," Kristian Oevernes, the leader of the project at the Norwegian Public Roads Administration, told Reuters of the project in Finnmark, where the sun does not rise in mid-winter.
A test drive on a snowmobile showed that marked reindeer were far more visible in the dark than others. Several people are injured every year in car accidents involving reindeer, and one recent accident in Finland was fatal.
"I guess so," Oevernes said, when asked if Santa might take up the safety tip.
"This is the first time it (reindeer marking) has happened on this scale."
Sami herders had tried small experiments to attach reflective tape to the animals but the glue failed in the cold. Finnish herders had also tried a reflective spray, but it reduced the fur's ability to keep out the chill.
About 200,000 reindeer live in Norway, mostly owned by Sami indigenous people who raise them for meat, skins and antlers, according to the International Center for Reindeer Husbandry.
If the new project is successful, supporters say, reindeer owners or vehicle insurance companies might be interested in buying reflectors.
Anonymous thief pays for stolen hammer, decades later
An anonymous thief sent an envelope of cash to a family-owned supply store in western Pennsylvania to pay for a hammer stolen decades ago, one of the store owners said on Monday.
The cash arrived at Central Contractors Supply Co. in Johnstown, Pa., with a handwritten note saying the hammer was stolen 25 to 30 years ago, said Lynne Gramling, who owns the store with her father.
"I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. Enclosed is $45 to cover the hammer plus a little extra for interest," said the unsigned letter dated December 6. "I'm sorry I stole it, but have changed my ways."
While plenty of merchandise has disappeared since the family bought the store some 50 years ago, this is the first time anyone has paid for a stolen item, Gramling said.
Gramling took the money to a nearby shopping mall, where her father was volunteering as a Salvation Army bell ringer.
"I went up and dropped the money in his kettle," she said, adding that the money was "really a lot more than a hammer would cost."
"He was very generous," she said.
The cash arrived at Central Contractors Supply Co. in Johnstown, Pa., with a handwritten note saying the hammer was stolen 25 to 30 years ago, said Lynne Gramling, who owns the store with her father.
"I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. Enclosed is $45 to cover the hammer plus a little extra for interest," said the unsigned letter dated December 6. "I'm sorry I stole it, but have changed my ways."
While plenty of merchandise has disappeared since the family bought the store some 50 years ago, this is the first time anyone has paid for a stolen item, Gramling said.
Gramling took the money to a nearby shopping mall, where her father was volunteering as a Salvation Army bell ringer.
"I went up and dropped the money in his kettle," she said, adding that the money was "really a lot more than a hammer would cost."
"He was very generous," she said.
F. Y. I.
Famous First
The first decorated Christmas tree appeared in Riga, Latvia, in 1510.
Table Tidbits
Eggnog was introduced in Jamestown, Va., in 1681, as a variation of the British drink posset.
Presidents' Files
President Franklin Pierce installed the first Christmas tree inside the White House.
Quotable
by Pierre Corneille, French dramatist (1608-1684)
"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
Screen Debut
When "A Charlie Brown Christmas" aired in 1965, it was the first animated special to be based on Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip.
Still on the Books
In Maine, you will be charged a fine for still having your Christmas decorations up after Jan. 14.
The first decorated Christmas tree appeared in Riga, Latvia, in 1510.
Table Tidbits
Eggnog was introduced in Jamestown, Va., in 1681, as a variation of the British drink posset.
Presidents' Files
President Franklin Pierce installed the first Christmas tree inside the White House.
Quotable
by Pierre Corneille, French dramatist (1608-1684)
"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
Screen Debut
When "A Charlie Brown Christmas" aired in 1965, it was the first animated special to be based on Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip.
Still on the Books
In Maine, you will be charged a fine for still having your Christmas decorations up after Jan. 14.
IN THE NOVEMBER ISSUE WE ASKED "CAN YOU READ A BAR CODE?"
Thanks to the keen attention of some of our readers we learned that there were some inaccurancies in what we printed. One reader, in particular, offered a much appreciated descriptive of where the information is a "mixture of the true and false."
Just letting you know that the info provided in the November issue is misleading and wrong.
Below in blue font is an excerpt from an About.com article (urban legends). Almost identical information is available on Snopes.com, which also labels this information as a mixture of true and false.
In Addition, I could not find a single correct correlation with the list you printed on any of the first 5 items I randomly picked up in my kitchen:
Frozen tilapia clearly labeled as from China : 778
Purina veterinary diet canned cat food made in Canada : 381
Cat treats, also made in Canada : 584
Pomegranate juice produced in Ajerbaijan: 056
Shout laundry stain removing gel, manufactured in Racine, Wi: 465
The information above is misleading and unreliable, on two counts:
Just letting you know that the info provided in the November issue is misleading and wrong.
Below in blue font is an excerpt from an About.com article (urban legends). Almost identical information is available on Snopes.com, which also labels this information as a mixture of true and false.
In Addition, I could not find a single correct correlation with the list you printed on any of the first 5 items I randomly picked up in my kitchen:
Frozen tilapia clearly labeled as from China : 778
Purina veterinary diet canned cat food made in Canada : 381
Cat treats, also made in Canada : 584
Pomegranate juice produced in Ajerbaijan: 056
Shout laundry stain removing gel, manufactured in Racine, Wi: 465
The information above is misleading and unreliable, on two counts:
- There"s more than one kind of bar code in use around the world. UPC bar codes, the type most commonly used in the United States, do not typically contain a country identifier. A different type of bar code known as EAN-13 does contain a country identifier, but it's more commonly used in Europe and other countries outside the U.S.
- Even in the case of EAN-13 bar codes, the digits associated with country of origin don't necessarily specify where the product was manufactured, but rather where the bar code itself was registered. So, for example, a product manufactured in China and sold in France could have an EAN-13 bar code identifying it as a French product.
WISDOM FROM THE YEARS -- TRUTHS FOR MATURE HUMANS
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but here comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection.....again.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -- but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Cell Phones, Texting and Driving
..... a deadly combination!
A very disturbing video has just been released as a public service announcement on YouTube.
It graphically illustrates what can happen when a person is texting while driving. You'll find it at:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ttNgZDZruI
As cell phone usage has grown - and who doesn't have one these days - there has been a corresponing increase in the use of them while driving. Those of us who are guilty of this offense should realize that one of the greatest dangers is that we must take our eyes off the road to dial a number. We may also find ourselves less likely to employ defensive driving skills when we are preoccupied with a cell phone conversation. Although we may take pride in our ability to "multi-task," some of us find it a struggle to just chew gum and walk at the same time!
One survey showed that 83% of drivers talk on cell phones while driving. Cell phone use is highest among young drivers. And speaking of young drivers - text messaging, or "texting," is by far their greatest distraction, and nearly 20 percent of all drivers admit to texting while driving. One study has shown that motorists using cell phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. Another concluded that "talking on a cell phone while driving is as dangerous as driving drunk, even if the phone is a hands-free model." Yet another study found that drivers using hands-free phones were 18 percent slower in braking and took 17 percent longer to regain the speed they lost when they braked.
Some states have already passed laws prohibiting drivers from using hand-held cell phones and that number is growing. Although there has been some talk of limiting insurance coverage for auto accidents involving cell phone use, we're not aware of any U.S. company that has added this restriction to its policies. (Drivers in at least two European countries can lose insurance coverage if they are involved in a crash while talking on the phone.)
The bottom line: Any distraction will increase your likelihood of having an accident....and cell phones are becoming one of the major driving distractions we face. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security just because you have a Bluetooth headset......hands-free phone usage is still a major distraction. Keep your eyes on the road and your phone in your pocket or purse.
A very disturbing video has just been released as a public service announcement on YouTube.
It graphically illustrates what can happen when a person is texting while driving. You'll find it at:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ttNgZDZruI
As cell phone usage has grown - and who doesn't have one these days - there has been a corresponing increase in the use of them while driving. Those of us who are guilty of this offense should realize that one of the greatest dangers is that we must take our eyes off the road to dial a number. We may also find ourselves less likely to employ defensive driving skills when we are preoccupied with a cell phone conversation. Although we may take pride in our ability to "multi-task," some of us find it a struggle to just chew gum and walk at the same time!
One survey showed that 83% of drivers talk on cell phones while driving. Cell phone use is highest among young drivers. And speaking of young drivers - text messaging, or "texting," is by far their greatest distraction, and nearly 20 percent of all drivers admit to texting while driving. One study has shown that motorists using cell phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves. Another concluded that "talking on a cell phone while driving is as dangerous as driving drunk, even if the phone is a hands-free model." Yet another study found that drivers using hands-free phones were 18 percent slower in braking and took 17 percent longer to regain the speed they lost when they braked.
Some states have already passed laws prohibiting drivers from using hand-held cell phones and that number is growing. Although there has been some talk of limiting insurance coverage for auto accidents involving cell phone use, we're not aware of any U.S. company that has added this restriction to its policies. (Drivers in at least two European countries can lose insurance coverage if they are involved in a crash while talking on the phone.)
The bottom line: Any distraction will increase your likelihood of having an accident....and cell phones are becoming one of the major driving distractions we face. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security just because you have a Bluetooth headset......hands-free phone usage is still a major distraction. Keep your eyes on the road and your phone in your pocket or purse.
Bus driver flattens snowman, loses job
A Champaign-Urbana bus driver has resigned after officials with the transit agency saw an online video of the driver running over a snowman built in the middle of a street.
The video is posted on YouTube. It shows the bus veering toward the snowman on the University of Illinois campus and running over it.
The video was posted after a snowstorm earlier this month and shows only one other vehicle on the street at the time. That car steered around the snowman moments before the bus hit it. It isn't clear who built the snowman or shot the video.
Champaign-Urbana Mass Transit District spokeswoman Jan Kijowski told The (Champaign) News-Gazette that the driver resigned. She refused to identify the driver or discuss the resignation.
The video is posted on YouTube. It shows the bus veering toward the snowman on the University of Illinois campus and running over it.
The video was posted after a snowstorm earlier this month and shows only one other vehicle on the street at the time. That car steered around the snowman moments before the bus hit it. It isn't clear who built the snowman or shot the video.
Champaign-Urbana Mass Transit District spokeswoman Jan Kijowski told The (Champaign) News-Gazette that the driver resigned. She refused to identify the driver or discuss the resignation.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
POP QUIZ ( NO. 2 )
Christmas Crooners - The Sequel
It's Round two of the good, the bad, the quirky, and the truly awful in Christmas music.
Match the carol with the caroler(s)
B. Frank Sinatra.
C. Mariah Carey.
D. The Pretenders.
E. The Killers.
F. John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
G. John Denver.
H. Coldplay.
I. Bing Crosby and David Bowie.
J. The Sex Pistols.
It's Round two of the good, the bad, the quirky, and the truly awful in Christmas music.
Match the carol with the caroler(s)
- "All I Want for Christmas Is You."
- "Boots."
- "Christmas Lights."
- "The Christmas Waltz."
- "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)."
- "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy."
- "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)."
- "Punk Rock Christmas."
- "Step Into Christmas."
- "2,000 Miles."
B. Frank Sinatra.
C. Mariah Carey.
D. The Pretenders.
E. The Killers.
F. John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
G. John Denver.
H. Coldplay.
I. Bing Crosby and David Bowie.
J. The Sex Pistols.
POP QUIZ ( NO. 2 )
Christmas crooners - Answers
- C. Mariah Carey.
- E. The Killers.
- H. Coldplay.
- B. Frank Sinatra.
- F. John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
- I. Bing Crosby and David Bowie.
- G. John Denver.
- J. The Sex Pistols.
- A. Elton John.
- D. The Pretenders.
F. Y. I.
Quotable
by Bette Midler
"Cherish forever what makes you unique 'cause you're really a yawn if it goes."
Did You Know ?
More Siberian tigers live in zoos than in the wild.
Try This
Turning the faucet off while brushing your teeth can save up to 5 gallons of water.
Film Files
Sandra Bullock's role in the 1995 romantic comedy hit "While You Were Sleeping" was originally offered to Demi Moore, but Moore's but Moore's salary demands were out of reach.
Table Tidbits
On average, a strawberry has 200 seeds on it.
Still on the Books
In Flordia, if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
by Bette Midler
"Cherish forever what makes you unique 'cause you're really a yawn if it goes."
Did You Know ?
More Siberian tigers live in zoos than in the wild.
Try This
Turning the faucet off while brushing your teeth can save up to 5 gallons of water.
Film Files
Sandra Bullock's role in the 1995 romantic comedy hit "While You Were Sleeping" was originally offered to Demi Moore, but Moore's but Moore's salary demands were out of reach.
Table Tidbits
On average, a strawberry has 200 seeds on it.
Still on the Books
In Flordia, if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
THIS MONTH IN HISTORY
- Dec. 1 : In Montgomery, Rosa Parks is arrested for refusing to give up her her seat in the front section of a bus. (1955)
- Dec. 2 : Barney B. Clark receives the world's first artificial heart transplant. (1982)
- Dec. 7 : Pearl Harbor was bombed in a surprise Japanese attack. It marked the U.S. entry into WW2. (1941)
- Dec. 15: The Bill of Rights are enacted, amending the U.S. Constitution (1791)
- Dec. 16: Boston residents protesting British taxation threw tea overboard on a British ship. The Boston Tea Party was the beginning of the American fight for independence.
- Dec. 16: The famous World War 2 "Battle of the Bulge" began. (1944)
- Dec. 24: Franz Joseph Gruber composed "Silent Night". (1818)
- Dec. 30: Edwin Hubble announces the existence of other galactic systems. (1924) Yes, the Hubble telescope was later named after him.
It's beginning to eel a lot like Christmas
An aquarium in Japan is shocking visitors with its Christmas display -- using an eco-friendly electric eel to illuminate the lights on its holiday tree.
Each time the eel moves, two aluminum panels gather enough electricity to light up the 2-meter (6 ft 6 in) tall tree, decked out in white, in glowing intermittent flashes.
The aquarium in Kamakura, just south of Tokyo, has featured the electric eel for five years to encourage ecological sensitivity.
This year, it added a Santa robot that sings and dances when visitors stomp on a pad.
"We first decided to get an electric eel to light up a Christmas tree and its top ornament using its electricity," said Kazuhiko Minawa, on the public relations team for the Enoshima Aquarium. "As electric eels use their muscles when generating a charge, we also thought to get humans to use their muscles to light up parts of the tree and power Santa."
Visitor Sumie Chiba was fascinated with the display but questioned the practicality of eel energy for domestic use.
"If this was possible, I think it's very nice and extremely eco-friendly," she said.
Each time the eel moves, two aluminum panels gather enough electricity to light up the 2-meter (6 ft 6 in) tall tree, decked out in white, in glowing intermittent flashes.
The aquarium in Kamakura, just south of Tokyo, has featured the electric eel for five years to encourage ecological sensitivity.
This year, it added a Santa robot that sings and dances when visitors stomp on a pad.
"We first decided to get an electric eel to light up a Christmas tree and its top ornament using its electricity," said Kazuhiko Minawa, on the public relations team for the Enoshima Aquarium. "As electric eels use their muscles when generating a charge, we also thought to get humans to use their muscles to light up parts of the tree and power Santa."
Visitor Sumie Chiba was fascinated with the display but questioned the practicality of eel energy for domestic use.
"If this was possible, I think it's very nice and extremely eco-friendly," she said.
Too much Christmas spirit rankles neighbors
Mike Babick's display of Christmas spirit has grown too popular for some neighbors, who complain his expanding array of lights and holiday figures draw some unwelcome gawkers.
Babick's passion for the holiday has driven him to adorn his modest one-story home in this Kansas City suburb with more than a thousand figures housed in display cases that go up to his rooftop.
Babick, 69, said his display requires a month to set up and draws some 250,000 visitors each year based on a vehicle-counter he installed on his street.
"It's a gigantic Christmas present to everyone -- from me," Babick said in an interview.
But some neighbors say Babick's Yuletide creation has become too popular. Cars, limousines and tour buses sometimes block the street and driveways. Visitors trudge across their lawns, with some pausing to relieve themselves.
"There are too many people any more who don't have respect for others," said Bob Myhre, who lives two doors down.
In response to complaints from some 30 residents, police made Babick's block temporarily one-way and put up no-parking signs, but that has not stopped visitors from parking in private driveways.
"We're not anti-Christmas, nobody's anti-Christmas," said Myhre, who has a modest light display on his home.
Jessie Novak, who lives across the street, said the traffic drawn to Babick's display is bothersome but tolerable.
"I would move if it wasn't there," Novak said of the display. "I know it's crazy and out of the norm, but I really enjoy it. It would beat any store window in New York."
Babick tries to keep cars moving and picks up litter nightly, saying he understands neighbors' concerns.
"There are only a couple of Grinches in the whole bunch," he said.
"We do have a lot of frowns turn to smiles," he said. "What I really like to see is the kids -- the laughing and the smiling. That's my reward."
Babick's passion for the holiday has driven him to adorn his modest one-story home in this Kansas City suburb with more than a thousand figures housed in display cases that go up to his rooftop.
Babick, 69, said his display requires a month to set up and draws some 250,000 visitors each year based on a vehicle-counter he installed on his street.
"It's a gigantic Christmas present to everyone -- from me," Babick said in an interview.
But some neighbors say Babick's Yuletide creation has become too popular. Cars, limousines and tour buses sometimes block the street and driveways. Visitors trudge across their lawns, with some pausing to relieve themselves.
"There are too many people any more who don't have respect for others," said Bob Myhre, who lives two doors down.
In response to complaints from some 30 residents, police made Babick's block temporarily one-way and put up no-parking signs, but that has not stopped visitors from parking in private driveways.
"We're not anti-Christmas, nobody's anti-Christmas," said Myhre, who has a modest light display on his home.
Jessie Novak, who lives across the street, said the traffic drawn to Babick's display is bothersome but tolerable.
"I would move if it wasn't there," Novak said of the display. "I know it's crazy and out of the norm, but I really enjoy it. It would beat any store window in New York."
Babick tries to keep cars moving and picks up litter nightly, saying he understands neighbors' concerns.
"There are only a couple of Grinches in the whole bunch," he said.
"We do have a lot of frowns turn to smiles," he said. "What I really like to see is the kids -- the laughing and the smiling. That's my reward."
Gambling nun accused of embezzling $850,000
A Catholic nun with a reputation for gambling trips to Atlantic City was accused of embezzling more than $850,000 from a college where she oversaw the school's finances, officials said on Friday.
Sister Marie Thornton, former vice president of finance at Iona College in New Rochelle, New York, is charged with sending phony invoices to the school to pay off personal credit card bills and expenses, the U.S. Attorney's office said.
The thefts occurred between 1999 and 2009, when Thornton resigned from the Catholic college, court documents said. She entered a plea of not guilty to a federal embezzlement charge.
The college of some 5,000 students has come under fire from alumni and donors for never reporting the missing money to authorities and only mentioning the theft in its 2009 tax filing sent in February to the Internal Revenue Service.
Iona officials issued a statement saying the school has implemented new financial oversight controls and recovered most of the missing funds.
The nun had a reputation for visiting casinos in Atlantic City, New Jersey, according to former Iona basketball coach Jeff Ruland.
The U.S. Attorney's office originally said the theft was more than $1.2 million but on Friday revised the amount to more than $850,000, saying it had originally miscalculated.
Thornton's lawyer Sam Talkin said: "We think the case will be resolved in a manner fair to all the parties involved."
Sister Marie Thornton, former vice president of finance at Iona College in New Rochelle, New York, is charged with sending phony invoices to the school to pay off personal credit card bills and expenses, the U.S. Attorney's office said.
The thefts occurred between 1999 and 2009, when Thornton resigned from the Catholic college, court documents said. She entered a plea of not guilty to a federal embezzlement charge.
The college of some 5,000 students has come under fire from alumni and donors for never reporting the missing money to authorities and only mentioning the theft in its 2009 tax filing sent in February to the Internal Revenue Service.
Iona officials issued a statement saying the school has implemented new financial oversight controls and recovered most of the missing funds.
The nun had a reputation for visiting casinos in Atlantic City, New Jersey, according to former Iona basketball coach Jeff Ruland.
The U.S. Attorney's office originally said the theft was more than $1.2 million but on Friday revised the amount to more than $850,000, saying it had originally miscalculated.
Thornton's lawyer Sam Talkin said: "We think the case will be resolved in a manner fair to all the parties involved."
German pensioner bricks himself into his own cellar
A German pensioner who wanted to seal off the entrance to his cellar ended up bricking himself into it, a police spokesman told Reuters on Thursday.
The senior citizen from Jena told police he only became aware of the mistake once his handiwork was complete, which police described as "pretty stupid" in a statement.
After camping out in the cellar for several days he resolved to free himself by knocking down a wall, but chose to demolish his neighbor's wall rather than the one he had just put up.
The man had been at loggerheads with his neighbors for some time and they informed the police when they heard drilling noises. The police were waiting for the pensioner when he made his great escape and have now launched an enquiry.
The senior citizen from Jena told police he only became aware of the mistake once his handiwork was complete, which police described as "pretty stupid" in a statement.
After camping out in the cellar for several days he resolved to free himself by knocking down a wall, but chose to demolish his neighbor's wall rather than the one he had just put up.
The man had been at loggerheads with his neighbors for some time and they informed the police when they heard drilling noises. The police were waiting for the pensioner when he made his great escape and have now launched an enquiry.
Over 52? Then you're probably grumpy
Britons find being older than 52 is nothing to laugh about because that's the age when they start becoming grumpy, according to a survey on Friday.
The poll of 2,000 Britons found those over 50 laughed far less than their younger counterparts and complained far more.
While infants laughed up to 300 times a day, that figure had fallen to an average of six laughs by teenage years and only 2.5 daily chuckles for those over 60, the survey for cable TV channel Dave found.
Men were also found to be grumpier than women.
One reason for the decline in mirth might be the lack of joke-telling skills. The study found the average Briton only knows two jokes.
The poll of 2,000 Britons found those over 50 laughed far less than their younger counterparts and complained far more.
While infants laughed up to 300 times a day, that figure had fallen to an average of six laughs by teenage years and only 2.5 daily chuckles for those over 60, the survey for cable TV channel Dave found.
Men were also found to be grumpier than women.
One reason for the decline in mirth might be the lack of joke-telling skills. The study found the average Briton only knows two jokes.
Pizza chain offers $31,000/hour part-time job
Take-out pizza chain hiring. Aged over 18, no experience required. Uniform provided. Salary: $31,000 an hour.
As part of a series of events commemorating the 25th anniversary of its arrival in Japan, Domino's Pizza Japan is set to hire one lucky person at the rate of 2,500,000 yen ($31,030) for an hour's worth of work in December.
A company spokesman declined to provide further details until November 10, but the company's website said that anyone who wants the job will need to file an application. Those passing to the next stage will undergo an interview.
"Basically it's anybody over 18, no questions about education or experience," the spokesman said. "We're actually a little surprised by how much of a response it's getting."
Hourly pay for part-time jobs in Japan averages just under 1,000 yen ($12.41).
Many of the comments on a Japanese article about the offer noted that the salary was cheap for the probable advertising impact and that there might be better uses for the money, such as raising workers' pay overall.
"If I got this, I couldn't work for being afraid of what the people around me were thinking," one wrote.
In another of the promotions, anyone born on September 30 this year -- the actual date the first Domino's opened in Japan -- will receive a free pizza on their birthday until they turn 25.
As part of a series of events commemorating the 25th anniversary of its arrival in Japan, Domino's Pizza Japan is set to hire one lucky person at the rate of 2,500,000 yen ($31,030) for an hour's worth of work in December.
A company spokesman declined to provide further details until November 10, but the company's website said that anyone who wants the job will need to file an application. Those passing to the next stage will undergo an interview.
"Basically it's anybody over 18, no questions about education or experience," the spokesman said. "We're actually a little surprised by how much of a response it's getting."
Hourly pay for part-time jobs in Japan averages just under 1,000 yen ($12.41).
Many of the comments on a Japanese article about the offer noted that the salary was cheap for the probable advertising impact and that there might be better uses for the money, such as raising workers' pay overall.
"If I got this, I couldn't work for being afraid of what the people around me were thinking," one wrote.
In another of the promotions, anyone born on September 30 this year -- the actual date the first Domino's opened in Japan -- will receive a free pizza on their birthday until they turn 25.
Man shoots TV over Bristol Palin's "Dancing" success
A Wisconsin man angry at the success of Bristol Palin on "Dancing with the Stars" blasted his TV with a shotgun as she waltzed her way into the program's finals. Steven Cowan's violent outburst came amid a heated debate over Palin's survival on the TV dance competition show despite weeks of low scores.
Critics say the 20 year-old is benefiting from the popularity of her politician mother, Sarah Palin, with the largely older, female viewers of the program. Each week the dancers are judged by a panel of experts and then voted upon by viewers, and based on a combination of scores and ballots, one contestant is voted off.
According to a criminal complaint obtained by The Smoking Gun website on Wednesday, Cowan's wife Janice told police her husband was watching Bristol Palin dancing Monday night when he "jumped up and swore...Steven was upset that a political figure's daughter was on this show when Steven did not think that she was a good dancer."
Cowan, 67, then took his shotgun and fired a round into the TV screen, triggering a 15-hour stand-off with police in the small town of Vermont, Wisconsin. He surrendered and was charged with reckless endangerment and use of a dangerous weapon, according to the complaint.
Bristol Palin, whose mother Sarah is a conservative Tea Party favorite and one of the most polarizing politicians in the U.S., was voted through to next week's "Dancing" finals on a record number of public votes, ousting the more confident and composed dancer and singer Brandy.
More than 17 million Americans watched Tuesday's results show in what broadcaster ABC said was the biggest audience for "Dancing" since late September.
Brandy said on Wednesday she was shocked at losing out Palin for a spot in the finals.
Her professional dance partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, showed even greater disappointment. "In this case you cross the finish line first, and somebody (Palin) barely finishes, and you get a tie because they showed heart. It's kind of difficult for me to deal with," Chmerkovskiy told morning news show "Good Morning America".
Bristol Palin this week hit back at her critics, attributing her success to hard work and saying that her mother's high profile has its disadvantages.
"I've gotten so many people who just attack me every day because of who my mother is," she told Access Hollywood on Monday.
Palin will compete in next week's "Dancing with the Stars" final against "Dirty Dancing" actress Jennifer Grey and former "That's So Raven" Disney child star Kyle Massey.
Critics say the 20 year-old is benefiting from the popularity of her politician mother, Sarah Palin, with the largely older, female viewers of the program. Each week the dancers are judged by a panel of experts and then voted upon by viewers, and based on a combination of scores and ballots, one contestant is voted off.
According to a criminal complaint obtained by The Smoking Gun website on Wednesday, Cowan's wife Janice told police her husband was watching Bristol Palin dancing Monday night when he "jumped up and swore...Steven was upset that a political figure's daughter was on this show when Steven did not think that she was a good dancer."
Cowan, 67, then took his shotgun and fired a round into the TV screen, triggering a 15-hour stand-off with police in the small town of Vermont, Wisconsin. He surrendered and was charged with reckless endangerment and use of a dangerous weapon, according to the complaint.
Bristol Palin, whose mother Sarah is a conservative Tea Party favorite and one of the most polarizing politicians in the U.S., was voted through to next week's "Dancing" finals on a record number of public votes, ousting the more confident and composed dancer and singer Brandy.
More than 17 million Americans watched Tuesday's results show in what broadcaster ABC said was the biggest audience for "Dancing" since late September.
Brandy said on Wednesday she was shocked at losing out Palin for a spot in the finals.
Her professional dance partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, showed even greater disappointment. "In this case you cross the finish line first, and somebody (Palin) barely finishes, and you get a tie because they showed heart. It's kind of difficult for me to deal with," Chmerkovskiy told morning news show "Good Morning America".
Bristol Palin this week hit back at her critics, attributing her success to hard work and saying that her mother's high profile has its disadvantages.
"I've gotten so many people who just attack me every day because of who my mother is," she told Access Hollywood on Monday.
Palin will compete in next week's "Dancing with the Stars" final against "Dirty Dancing" actress Jennifer Grey and former "That's So Raven" Disney child star Kyle Massey.
German man arrested for mailing tarantulas to U.S.
A German man who allegedly shipped hundreds of live tarantulas into the United States through the mail was charged on Friday with illegally importing wildlife.
Sven Koppler, a 37-year-old German national, was arrested by federal agents late on Thursday, shortly after arriving in Los Angeles to meet an associate, U.S. Attorney's spokesman Thom Mrozek said in a written statement.
Mrozek said the investigation into Koppler began in March, when a routine inspection turned up about 300 live tarantulas in a package mailed to Los Angeles.
U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents then intercepted two more packages, one containing nearly 250 live tarantulas, wrapped in colored plastic straws.
The second package was found to hold 22 Mexican red-kneed tarantulas, a species formally known as Brachypelma smithi that is protected under an international treaty.
Mrozek said Fish and Wildlife agents, conducting an investigation dubbed "Operation Spiderman" ordered more spiders from Koppler and were sent a total of five packages containing dozens of live and dead tarantulas.
According to the criminal complaint, agents believe Koppler has received about $300,000 for selling tarantulas to individuals in dozens of countries throughout the world.
Koppler, who prosecutors believe lives in Wachtberg, Germany, was scheduled to make his initial court appearance later on Friday and faces a maximum penalty of 20 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted.
While many people considered tarantulas threatening, their venom is weaker than a honeybee and other than a painful bite, is harmless to humans.
The Mexican red-kneed tarantula, which is native to Mexico, can grow to about 4 inches long, with a leg span of 6 inches, and has a dark body with orange patches on the legs, giving it the "red-kneed" appearance.
The spiders are considered docile and females can live for more than 20 years.
The Brachypelma genus of spider is protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species because it is considered threatened, and can only be legally traded with permits from the exporting country.
Sven Koppler, a 37-year-old German national, was arrested by federal agents late on Thursday, shortly after arriving in Los Angeles to meet an associate, U.S. Attorney's spokesman Thom Mrozek said in a written statement.
Mrozek said the investigation into Koppler began in March, when a routine inspection turned up about 300 live tarantulas in a package mailed to Los Angeles.
U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents then intercepted two more packages, one containing nearly 250 live tarantulas, wrapped in colored plastic straws.
The second package was found to hold 22 Mexican red-kneed tarantulas, a species formally known as Brachypelma smithi that is protected under an international treaty.
Mrozek said Fish and Wildlife agents, conducting an investigation dubbed "Operation Spiderman" ordered more spiders from Koppler and were sent a total of five packages containing dozens of live and dead tarantulas.
According to the criminal complaint, agents believe Koppler has received about $300,000 for selling tarantulas to individuals in dozens of countries throughout the world.
Koppler, who prosecutors believe lives in Wachtberg, Germany, was scheduled to make his initial court appearance later on Friday and faces a maximum penalty of 20 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted.
While many people considered tarantulas threatening, their venom is weaker than a honeybee and other than a painful bite, is harmless to humans.
The Mexican red-kneed tarantula, which is native to Mexico, can grow to about 4 inches long, with a leg span of 6 inches, and has a dark body with orange patches on the legs, giving it the "red-kneed" appearance.
The spiders are considered docile and females can live for more than 20 years.
The Brachypelma genus of spider is protected by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species because it is considered threatened, and can only be legally traded with permits from the exporting country.
Wisconsin woman accused of biting off husband's tongue
A Wisconsin woman bit off half her husband's tongue during a kiss and has been arrested, authorities said on Tuesday.
The bitten piece of the husband's tongue was recovered, and he was taken to a hospital following the incident late on Monday, Sheboygan, Wisconsin police said in a statement.
The woman, 57, told emergency workers she had "bit her husband's tongue off," police said in a statement. She had blood on her clothing, they said.
The 79-year-old victim said his wife bit his tongue while he was kissing her, police said.
The woman was singing Christmas carols and blowing a New Year's horn when police arrested her on charges of felony mayhem. She was being held pending formal charges by the District Attorney's Office.
The victim was transported to an area hospital where doctors were trying to reattach his tongue, police said. About half his tongue was bit off, they said.
The victim said his wife had been acting strangely in recent days, said the police in Sheboygan, roughly 50 miles north of Milwaukee.
The bitten piece of the husband's tongue was recovered, and he was taken to a hospital following the incident late on Monday, Sheboygan, Wisconsin police said in a statement.
The woman, 57, told emergency workers she had "bit her husband's tongue off," police said in a statement. She had blood on her clothing, they said.
The 79-year-old victim said his wife bit his tongue while he was kissing her, police said.
The woman was singing Christmas carols and blowing a New Year's horn when police arrested her on charges of felony mayhem. She was being held pending formal charges by the District Attorney's Office.
The victim was transported to an area hospital where doctors were trying to reattach his tongue, police said. About half his tongue was bit off, they said.
The victim said his wife had been acting strangely in recent days, said the police in Sheboygan, roughly 50 miles north of Milwaukee.
Older men want more sex, study finds
The very oldest men are still interested in sex but illness and a lack of opportunity may be holding them back, Australian researchers reported on Monday.
The "male" hormone testosterone was clearly linked with how often a man over 75 had sex, and doctors need to do more studies to see if hormone replacement therapy might benefit older men, the researchers said.
Zoe Hyde of the University of Western Australia and colleagues surveyed more than 2,700 men aged 75 to 95 for their study, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine.
They asked a range of questions about health, relationships and sexual activity.
"The older men were, the less likely they were to be sexually active, but sex remained at least somewhat important to one fifth of men aged 90 to 95 years, refuting the stereotype of the asexual older person," they wrote in their report.
"Of those who were sexually active, more than 40 percent were dissatisfied with the frequency of sexual activity, preferring sex more frequently."
More than 30 percent of the men reported some sort of sexual activity in the past year, but more than 48 percent said sex was important, suggesting many of the men wanted to have sex but could not.
Age was a factor but so were testosterone levels, the lack of an interested partner, and various diseases from diabetes to prostate cancer.
More than 40 percent of the men who had not had sex recently said they were not interested.
The "male" hormone testosterone was clearly linked with how often a man over 75 had sex, and doctors need to do more studies to see if hormone replacement therapy might benefit older men, the researchers said.
Zoe Hyde of the University of Western Australia and colleagues surveyed more than 2,700 men aged 75 to 95 for their study, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine.
They asked a range of questions about health, relationships and sexual activity.
"The older men were, the less likely they were to be sexually active, but sex remained at least somewhat important to one fifth of men aged 90 to 95 years, refuting the stereotype of the asexual older person," they wrote in their report.
"Of those who were sexually active, more than 40 percent were dissatisfied with the frequency of sexual activity, preferring sex more frequently."
More than 30 percent of the men reported some sort of sexual activity in the past year, but more than 48 percent said sex was important, suggesting many of the men wanted to have sex but could not.
Age was a factor but so were testosterone levels, the lack of an interested partner, and various diseases from diabetes to prostate cancer.
More than 40 percent of the men who had not had sex recently said they were not interested.
Help police! Someone's stolen my snowman
As Arctic blizzards swept across southeast England, stranding hundreds in their cars and bringing motorways to a virtual halt in whiteout conditions, Kent police received a strange call on their emergency number.
"I haven't been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag (cigarette) and he's gone," said the female caller.
When the operator asked who had gone she replied: "My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about he'd be safe.
"It ain't a nice road but you don't expect anybody to nick your snowman," she added.
Police were most definitely not amused.
"This call could have cost someone's life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through. It was completely irresponsible,' said Chief Inspector Simon Black.
A transcript of the call was released by the force to highlight what they said was misuse of the emergency number 999 system.
"I haven't been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a fag (cigarette) and he's gone," said the female caller.
When the operator asked who had gone she replied: "My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about he'd be safe.
"It ain't a nice road but you don't expect anybody to nick your snowman," she added.
Police were most definitely not amused.
"This call could have cost someone's life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through. It was completely irresponsible,' said Chief Inspector Simon Black.
A transcript of the call was released by the force to highlight what they said was misuse of the emergency number 999 system.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
POP QUIZ
Christmas crooners
It's that time of year, when the airwaves are full of the good and bad, the quirky and the unbelievably awful, music of Christmas.
Match the song with the caroler(s)
B. Elmo and Patsy Shropshire.
C. Paul McCartney.
D. Jackson 5.
E. The Singing Dogs.
F. Band Aid.
G. The Killers.
H. Jose Feliciano.
I. The Ramones.
J. Bob Dylan.
It's that time of year, when the airwaves are full of the good and bad, the quirky and the unbelievably awful, music of Christmas.
Match the song with the caroler(s)
- "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
- "Feliz Navidad".
- "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer".
- "Happy Birthday Guadalupe".
- "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."
- "Jingle Bells."
- "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight).
- "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town".
- "There Ain't No Sanity Clause."
- "Wonderful Christmastime."
B. Elmo and Patsy Shropshire.
C. Paul McCartney.
D. Jackson 5.
E. The Singing Dogs.
F. Band Aid.
G. The Killers.
H. Jose Feliciano.
I. The Ramones.
J. Bob Dylan.
POP QUIZ
Christmas crooners
Answers
Answers
- f. Band Aid.
- h. Jose Feliciano.
- b. Elmo and Patsy Shropshire.
- g. The Killers.
- j. Bob Dylan.
- e. The Singing Dogs.
- i. The Ramones.
- d. Jackson 5.
- a. The Damned.
- c. Paul McCartney.
F. Y. I.
'Nothing like a Pepper'
Dr Pepper, invented in Waco, Texas, in 1885, is the oldest major soft drink manufacturer in the United States.
Did You Know ?
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
In Other Worlds
The British slang for white-collar worker is "black-coat worker".
Still on the Books
In Detroit, Mich., it is illegal to let your pig run free unless it has a ring in the nose.
Females First
Although very unusual among carnivores, hyena clans are dominated by females.
Quotable
by Richard Gere, American actor
"I don't think that bravery is about skin. Bravery is about a willingness to show emotional need."
Dr Pepper, invented in Waco, Texas, in 1885, is the oldest major soft drink manufacturer in the United States.
Did You Know ?
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
In Other Worlds
The British slang for white-collar worker is "black-coat worker".
Still on the Books
In Detroit, Mich., it is illegal to let your pig run free unless it has a ring in the nose.
Females First
Although very unusual among carnivores, hyena clans are dominated by females.
Quotable
by Richard Gere, American actor
"I don't think that bravery is about skin. Bravery is about a willingness to show emotional need."
Thursday, December 2, 2010
A YOUNG FARM COUPLE (Joke)
A young farm couple, Bubba and Debbie, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Bubba left the house for the fields, they made love. When he came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love and also during the night.
The problem was their nooner: it took Bubba a half hour to walk home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Bubba asked the town doctor what to do.
"Bubba," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Debbie's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's! advice and it worked well for a while until one day when Bubba came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the doc. "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked good," said Bubba. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Debbie'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Bubba. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since huntin' season started!"
The problem was their nooner: it took Bubba a half hour to walk home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Bubba asked the town doctor what to do.
"Bubba," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Debbie's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's! advice and it worked well for a while until one day when Bubba came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the doc. "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked good," said Bubba. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Debbie'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Bubba. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since huntin' season started!"
MINI JOKES
Hilda: Who serves drinks and snacks on an airplane at Halloween?
Horace: A fright attendant!
Hubert: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Hannah: Only one, but she changes it into a toad!
Henry: What is a ghost child's favorite story?
Honora: "Ghouldilocks"!
Mary: What do chess players say when starting their game?
Maxwell: "Once a pawn a time....."!
Melvin: What did the tired chess player do?
Marvin: He took a knight off!
Milly: When did the deck of cards need a bandage?
Morris: When it was cut by the dealer!
Horace: A fright attendant!
Hubert: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Hannah: Only one, but she changes it into a toad!
Henry: What is a ghost child's favorite story?
Honora: "Ghouldilocks"!
Mary: What do chess players say when starting their game?
Maxwell: "Once a pawn a time....."!
Melvin: What did the tired chess player do?
Marvin: He took a knight off!
Milly: When did the deck of cards need a bandage?
Morris: When it was cut by the dealer!
THE COLOR GREEN
In the superstitious world of auto racing green cars have been considered unlucky ever since a couple of fatal accidents occurred involving green racecars in the early days of the sport. Although corporate sponsorships have now temted many racers to forgo this taboo for the promise of even more green (money, that is), some drivers still refuse to get behind the wheel of a green car.
Green is also traditionally an unlucky color for weddings dresses and theatrical costumes.
Green is also traditionally an unlucky color for weddings dresses and theatrical costumes.
A MONOPOLY QUIZ - A - ROONIE
Questions
- What's the total amount of money in a standard Monopoly game?
- How many Monopoly properties can you build houses or hotels on?
- What's the name of the character locked behind bars?
- How many languages is Monopoly published in?
- What is the correct spelling of Marvin Gardens?
- What's the name of the little man shown on the box?
A MONOPOLY QUIZ - A - ROONIE
Answers
- $15,140
- 22 properties can be built upon
- Jake the jailbird
- 43 languages
- Marven Gardens
- Mr. Monopoly
WHAT'S YOUR GAME ?
Could you invent your own board game? What would be the theme, or idea? What type of board would you use? Here are some questions to get you started.
- How many players will play your game?
- What shape willyour board be?
- What is the objective, or goal, for a player?
- What type of game pieces will you need? What rules will your game have? You may have to play it a few times to figure out the rules.
THE GAME OF LIFE
Did you know you can attend college, get a job, start a family and retire -- all while playing one game? The Game of Life celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. But its history goes back to the mid-1800s.
The early game
Milton Bradley was a young draftsman, an artist who makes technical drawings. In 1860, he used his artistic skills to develop a game he called The Checkered Game of Life. His game was a huge success.
The modern game
When the Milton Bradley Co. was getting ready to celebrate its 100th anniversary in 1960, designer Reuben Klamer looked through the company's archives for ideas. He found Milton Bradley's original The Checkered Game of Life. Klamer's new version became popular with kids and famlies.
Bradley's other work
Bradley went on to be a big supporter of the idea of kindergarten. During his time, children went straight from home to school, where they were expected to memorize facts and get along well with classmates. Kindergarten was thought of as a way to teach preschoolers through words and play they could understand. It also helped them learn how to behave and work with others.
The early game
Milton Bradley was a young draftsman, an artist who makes technical drawings. In 1860, he used his artistic skills to develop a game he called The Checkered Game of Life. His game was a huge success.
The modern game
When the Milton Bradley Co. was getting ready to celebrate its 100th anniversary in 1960, designer Reuben Klamer looked through the company's archives for ideas. He found Milton Bradley's original The Checkered Game of Life. Klamer's new version became popular with kids and famlies.
Bradley's other work
Bradley went on to be a big supporter of the idea of kindergarten. During his time, children went straight from home to school, where they were expected to memorize facts and get along well with classmates. Kindergarten was thought of as a way to teach preschoolers through words and play they could understand. It also helped them learn how to behave and work with others.
A MONOPOLY ANNIVERSARY
An early favorite
Monopoly celebrates its 75th birthday this year. However, another game, called The Landlord's Game, probably helped Monopoly inventor Charles Darrow come up with the idea for his game.
A Quaker woman named Lizzie J. Magie designed The Landlord's Game in 1903. She was against the idea of wealthy people being able to gain a monopoly* on land. She hoped her game would help players see that a monoply ownership of the properties on the board helps only one player. In this way, Lizzie's game was the oppisite of today's Monopoly, in which one player tries to own all the properties on the board.
*A monopoly is when only one person or company comtrols something.
Darrow and the Depression
Like many people during Depression of the early 1930s, Charles Darrow of Germantown, Pa., was looking for work to support his family. Some experts believe he had played a version of The Landlord's Game starting in 1932. Darrow started sketching out a game board on a tablecloth. It included many of the street names of Atlantic City, N.J., a favorite vacation spot for his family. Darrow colored the different properties and made little houses and hotels out of wood scraps. He and his wife invited neighbors in to play. Players, especially winners, began to ask for their own set to keep at home.
A popular game
Soon Darrow was making two sets a day and selling them for $4 each. He sold some of the sets to a store in Philadelphia to find out whether other people would buy them. In 1934, when Darrow first asked Parker Brothers if the company would manufacture and sell the game, he was turned down. Parker Brothers said the game had "52 design errors". So Darrow sold 5,000 sets to department stores in Philadelphia, where they were a big hit. In 1935, Parker Brothers began selling Monopoly. Darrow became a rich man. Today Monopoly can be played on a video screen or in many different languages. In fact, a Braille version is available for visually impaired people.
Monopoly celebrates its 75th birthday this year. However, another game, called The Landlord's Game, probably helped Monopoly inventor Charles Darrow come up with the idea for his game.
A Quaker woman named Lizzie J. Magie designed The Landlord's Game in 1903. She was against the idea of wealthy people being able to gain a monopoly* on land. She hoped her game would help players see that a monoply ownership of the properties on the board helps only one player. In this way, Lizzie's game was the oppisite of today's Monopoly, in which one player tries to own all the properties on the board.
*A monopoly is when only one person or company comtrols something.
Darrow and the Depression
Like many people during Depression of the early 1930s, Charles Darrow of Germantown, Pa., was looking for work to support his family. Some experts believe he had played a version of The Landlord's Game starting in 1932. Darrow started sketching out a game board on a tablecloth. It included many of the street names of Atlantic City, N.J., a favorite vacation spot for his family. Darrow colored the different properties and made little houses and hotels out of wood scraps. He and his wife invited neighbors in to play. Players, especially winners, began to ask for their own set to keep at home.
A popular game
Soon Darrow was making two sets a day and selling them for $4 each. He sold some of the sets to a store in Philadelphia to find out whether other people would buy them. In 1934, when Darrow first asked Parker Brothers if the company would manufacture and sell the game, he was turned down. Parker Brothers said the game had "52 design errors". So Darrow sold 5,000 sets to department stores in Philadelphia, where they were a big hit. In 1935, Parker Brothers began selling Monopoly. Darrow became a rich man. Today Monopoly can be played on a video screen or in many different languages. In fact, a Braille version is available for visually impaired people.
LET'S PLAY A GAME!
Family Fun
Winter means colder temperatures in many parts of the country. Do you play inside more when it gets cold outside? Many kids and families enjoy playing board games together when the weather is frosty. We learned more about the history of board games and discovered that a couple of favorites are having birthdays this year. Let's play!
Ancient play
People have been using boards to play games since ancient times. Around 5,000 years ago in Egypt, people played a game called Senet This painting from an Egyptian tomb shows a woman playing the game.
Experts think a game called Go is even older. It probably started in China.
Backgammon, still a popular game today, is the oldest game in which players roll the dice to find out how many moves to make.
Family game time
Here's a special holiday gift that you can give your whole family: Plan a game, get-together. Choose a game, make popcorn, turn off the televison and turn up the fun! Award a special treat to the winner.
Kinds of games
Which board games are your favorites? People who study games put them into different categories.
For example:
Winter means colder temperatures in many parts of the country. Do you play inside more when it gets cold outside? Many kids and families enjoy playing board games together when the weather is frosty. We learned more about the history of board games and discovered that a couple of favorites are having birthdays this year. Let's play!
Ancient play
People have been using boards to play games since ancient times. Around 5,000 years ago in Egypt, people played a game called Senet This painting from an Egyptian tomb shows a woman playing the game.
Experts think a game called Go is even older. It probably started in China.
Backgammon, still a popular game today, is the oldest game in which players roll the dice to find out how many moves to make.
Family game time
Here's a special holiday gift that you can give your whole family: Plan a game, get-together. Choose a game, make popcorn, turn off the televison and turn up the fun! Award a special treat to the winner.
Kinds of games
Which board games are your favorites? People who study games put them into different categories.
For example:
- Race games include Sorry and Parcheesi. In these games, the player tries to get all his or her game pieces to the finish.
- Trivia games ask players to correctly answer questions to win game pieces or move ahead.
- Roll-and-move games such as Monopoly have players move around the board according to rolls of the dice.
- Word games such as Scrabble allow players to gain points by spelling out words with alphabet tiles.
- Strategy or capture games such as chess and checkers are played in many different ways around the world. Still, most games depend on some luck along with knowledge or skill.
ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS ?
A superstition is an age-old belief that something good or bad might happen if we say or do a certain thing. Have you ever heard kids say, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back"? This is an example of a superstition. Superstitions go back to the time when people couldn't explain some of the things around them. Today, most of us don't take superstitions seriously, but it's fun to find out how some of them started -- especially since Halloween is a very superstitious time of year.
How Halloween started
The Halloween custom goes back 2,000 years. It is probably based on a ceremony that was held around the first of November. The ceremony was led by Druids, who were Celtic priests in Great Britain, Ireland and parts of France. During the event, they honored the souls of the dead who returned to Earth that night. As a part of the celebration, people burned bonfires and wore costumes.
Witches
It used to be thought that witches were people who worked magic and cast spells on others. They were thought to be evil because they were friendly withthe devil. Halloween was their favorite night.
Toads
Toads have been linked with witches. People believed they were poisonous because they thought other animals that ate toads got sick. People also thought they could cause warts, small bumps on the skin, which is not true.
Bats
Hundreds of years ago, people linked bats with witches because they both came out at night and disappeared during the day. People were also puzzled by the fact that bats could fly at night and not bump into things.
We also think of bats when we think about vampires. "Dracula", which was written in 1897, features a vampire who can turn into a bat.
Black cats
Ancient people thought that black cats were witches in disguise. You may still hear people today say that if a black cat crosses your path, bad luck is on the way. However, in some parts of the world, black cats are thought to bring good luck. Have you seen a black cat lately ?
How Halloween started
The Halloween custom goes back 2,000 years. It is probably based on a ceremony that was held around the first of November. The ceremony was led by Druids, who were Celtic priests in Great Britain, Ireland and parts of France. During the event, they honored the souls of the dead who returned to Earth that night. As a part of the celebration, people burned bonfires and wore costumes.
Witches
It used to be thought that witches were people who worked magic and cast spells on others. They were thought to be evil because they were friendly withthe devil. Halloween was their favorite night.
Toads
Toads have been linked with witches. People believed they were poisonous because they thought other animals that ate toads got sick. People also thought they could cause warts, small bumps on the skin, which is not true.
Bats
Hundreds of years ago, people linked bats with witches because they both came out at night and disappeared during the day. People were also puzzled by the fact that bats could fly at night and not bump into things.
We also think of bats when we think about vampires. "Dracula", which was written in 1897, features a vampire who can turn into a bat.
Black cats
Ancient people thought that black cats were witches in disguise. You may still hear people today say that if a black cat crosses your path, bad luck is on the way. However, in some parts of the world, black cats are thought to bring good luck. Have you seen a black cat lately ?
MORE HALOWEEN FUN
Haloween has many customs that go along with it. Your family may have holiday traditions including carving pumpkins, trick-or-treating or attending parties.
Jack-o'-lanterns
Jack-o'-lanterns are carved pumpkins with a candle or other light placed inside. For many years, they've been used to decorateand light up Halloween night.
Long ago in Great Britain, people carved lanterns in vegetables such as turnips. But carving jack-o'-lanterns for Halloween is probably a North American custom that came about in the mid- to late-1800s. "Jack-o'-lantern " probably originally meant a night watchman.
Costumes
Are you planning to wear a costume for Halloween? This custom may have begun with the Druids, who wore masks and disguises in the hope that ghosts wouldn't recognize them.
Owls
Because of their loud, screeching sound and the fact that they come out at night, owls were believed by some people to be witches in disguise.
Jack-o'-lanterns
Jack-o'-lanterns are carved pumpkins with a candle or other light placed inside. For many years, they've been used to decorateand light up Halloween night.
Long ago in Great Britain, people carved lanterns in vegetables such as turnips. But carving jack-o'-lanterns for Halloween is probably a North American custom that came about in the mid- to late-1800s. "Jack-o'-lantern " probably originally meant a night watchman.
Costumes
Are you planning to wear a costume for Halloween? This custom may have begun with the Druids, who wore masks and disguises in the hope that ghosts wouldn't recognize them.
Owls
Because of their loud, screeching sound and the fact that they come out at night, owls were believed by some people to be witches in disguise.
SUPER SUPERSTITIONS
Unlucky 13
Some people think 13 is an unlucky number. In fact, many large buildings skip naming the 13th floor; the numbers in the elevator go from 12 to 14.
Some experts think this belief might have started with the Last Supper in the Bible, where there were 13 people at the table.
Knock on wood
Some people will knock on wood for good luck. Why?
Ancient people couldn't understand why some trees stayed green all year and others lost their leaves. They thought some trees must have supernatural powers. For that reason, they would knock on trees to get their attention.
Cross your fingers!
Sometimes we cross our fingers for good luck. Do you think it works?
This custom began as a sort of shortcut for people making the sign of the Christian cross. People believed the cross protected them from evil or bad luck.
Cross your heart
Crossing your heart shows that you really mean something. Ancient people believed that the heart was the center of all knowledge.
Don't spill salt
At one time, salt was very valuable. People used it for trading, just like money. To spill any was believed to bring bad luck.
People also thought that evil spirits lived in the left side of the body. If a person spilled salt, he or she would try to please the evil spirits by throwing salt in their directions. You may still see people today throw a pinch of salt over their left shoulder after a spill.
Broken mirrors
In ancient times, people believed that their reflection in the water or in glass was really their "other self." They thought that if you disturbed this image, you would bring bad luck.
Ancient Romans believed that life is renewed every seven years. This is where we got the idea of seven years of bad luck if we break a mirror, disturbing our reflection.
Walking under a ladder
Even today, many people will not walk under a ladder, believing it's bad luck. This belief might be traced to the fact that a ladder leaned agaist a wall forms a triangle. To many Christian people, the triangle stands for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. If you walked under a ladder, you would break the triangle and bring bad luck.
Some people think 13 is an unlucky number. In fact, many large buildings skip naming the 13th floor; the numbers in the elevator go from 12 to 14.
Some experts think this belief might have started with the Last Supper in the Bible, where there were 13 people at the table.
Knock on wood
Some people will knock on wood for good luck. Why?
Ancient people couldn't understand why some trees stayed green all year and others lost their leaves. They thought some trees must have supernatural powers. For that reason, they would knock on trees to get their attention.
Cross your fingers!
Sometimes we cross our fingers for good luck. Do you think it works?
This custom began as a sort of shortcut for people making the sign of the Christian cross. People believed the cross protected them from evil or bad luck.
Cross your heart
Crossing your heart shows that you really mean something. Ancient people believed that the heart was the center of all knowledge.
Don't spill salt
At one time, salt was very valuable. People used it for trading, just like money. To spill any was believed to bring bad luck.
People also thought that evil spirits lived in the left side of the body. If a person spilled salt, he or she would try to please the evil spirits by throwing salt in their directions. You may still see people today throw a pinch of salt over their left shoulder after a spill.
Broken mirrors
In ancient times, people believed that their reflection in the water or in glass was really their "other self." They thought that if you disturbed this image, you would bring bad luck.
Ancient Romans believed that life is renewed every seven years. This is where we got the idea of seven years of bad luck if we break a mirror, disturbing our reflection.
Walking under a ladder
Even today, many people will not walk under a ladder, believing it's bad luck. This belief might be traced to the fact that a ladder leaned agaist a wall forms a triangle. To many Christian people, the triangle stands for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. If you walked under a ladder, you would break the triangle and bring bad luck.
F. Y. I.
State Stats
Cranberries were first cultivated in Massachusetts around 1815.
On the Run
Wild Turkeys can run at speeds of up to 25 mph.
Did You Know ?
Antarctica is the only continent on which pumpkins won't grow.
Back Then
In early colonial times, pumpkins were used as an ingredient for the crust of pies, not the filling.
Quotable
by Henry Van Dyke, American author and clergyman (1852-1933)
"Gratitude is a twofold love: love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest."
Famous First
The state of New York officially made Thanksgiving Day an annual custom in 1817.
Cranberries were first cultivated in Massachusetts around 1815.
On the Run
Wild Turkeys can run at speeds of up to 25 mph.
Did You Know ?
Antarctica is the only continent on which pumpkins won't grow.
Back Then
In early colonial times, pumpkins were used as an ingredient for the crust of pies, not the filling.
Quotable
by Henry Van Dyke, American author and clergyman (1852-1933)
"Gratitude is a twofold love: love coming to visit us, and love running out to greet a welcome guest."
Famous First
The state of New York officially made Thanksgiving Day an annual custom in 1817.
NOW YOU KNOW
- On Nov. 1, 1512, Michelangelo finished painting the ceiling of the Vatican's Sistine Chapel.
- On Nov. 2, 1948, President Harry S. Truman surprised the experts by winning a narrow upset over Republican challenger Thomas E. Dewey.
- On Nov. 3, 1900, the first major U.S. automobile show opened at New York's Madison Square Garden under the auspices of the Automobile Club of America.
- On Nov. 5, 1605, the "Gunpowder Plot" failed as Guy Fawkes was seized before he could blow up the English Parliament.
- On Nov. 8, 1960, Massachusetts Sen. John F. Kennedy defeated Vice President Richard M. Nixon for the presidency.
- On Nov. 9, 1965, the great Northeast blackout occurred as power failures lasting up to 13 1/2 hours left 30 million people in seven states and part of Canada without electricity.
- On Nov. 10, 1975, the ore-hauling ship SS Edmund Fitzgerald and its crew of 29 mysteriously sank during a storm in Lake Superior with the loss of all on board.
- On Nov. 12, 1942, the World War 2 naval Battle of Guadalcanal began. (The Allies ended up winning a major victory over the Japanese.)
- On Nov. 15, 1777, the Second Continental Congress approved theArticles of Confederation, a precursor to the Constitution of the United States.
- On Nov. 16, 1960, Academy Award-winning actor Clark Gable died in Los Angeles at age 59 shortly after he completed filming "The Misfits" with co-star Marilyn Monroe.
- On Nov.17, 1800, Congress held its first session in Washington in the partially completed Capitol building.
- On Nov. 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas; Texas Gov. John B. Connally, in the same car as Kennedy, was seriously wounded. Suspect Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested.
- On Nov. 23, 1889, the first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the Palais Royale Saloon.
- On Nov. 24, 1971, hijacker "D.B. Cooper" parachuted from a Northwest Orient Airlines 727 over Washington state with $200,000 in ransom --his fate remains unknown.
- On Nov.29, 1961, Enos the chimp was launched from Cape Canaveral aboard the Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft, which orbited earth twice before returning.
- On Nov. 30, 1960, the last DeSoto was built by Chrysler, which had decided to retire the brand after 32 years.
Friday, November 19, 2010
SEX IS ALWAYS A POPULAR SUBJECT..........
BUT DID YOU KNOW THIS ?
- In Arizona it is illegal for a secretary to be alone with his/her boss.
- In Oklahoma you must be married in order to have sex legally.
- It is illegal to kiss for more that 5 minutes in Iowa.
- In Indiana it is illegal to be in a state of sexual arouse in public.
- Talking "dirty" during sex is illegal in Oregon.
- Pornography is Greek for "the writings of prostitutes."
CAN YOU READ A BAR CODE ?
With food products available from all over the world, it might be important to keep a watchful eye on what you are buying......especially if what you are buying is not home grown here in America. Many products and their packaging don't reflect where they are made, but rather they indicate where the distributor is located. It's important to read the bar code to track the product's origin.
In fact there are some countries that deliberately do not say they are the source of a product because they know consumer preference would be otherwise. However a bar code is the sure tell sign of the origin of anything and everything you put in your food basket.
If the first three (3) digits of the bar code are:
690-692...................the product is made in China
00-09.......................the product is made in the USA and Canada
30-37.......................the product is made in France
40-44.......................the product is made in Germany
47.............................the product is made in Taiwan
49.............................the product is made in Japan
50.............................the product is made in the UK
Just refer to these numbers when examining your packages and you can be certain of what you are buying.
In fact there are some countries that deliberately do not say they are the source of a product because they know consumer preference would be otherwise. However a bar code is the sure tell sign of the origin of anything and everything you put in your food basket.
If the first three (3) digits of the bar code are:
690-692...................the product is made in China
00-09.......................the product is made in the USA and Canada
30-37.......................the product is made in France
40-44.......................the product is made in Germany
47.............................the product is made in Taiwan
49.............................the product is made in Japan
50.............................the product is made in the UK
Just refer to these numbers when examining your packages and you can be certain of what you are buying.
PLAYING POSSUM ?
A large American possum plays dead when it is attacked. It lies still with its mouth open and eyes staring. If the enemy goes away, it takes a quick look around and comes back to life.
WHO KNEW OCTOBER WAS SO POPULAR ?
Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
American Pharmacist Month
Apple Jack Month
Awareness Month
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Clergy Appreciation Month
Computer Learning Month
Cookie Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Eat Country Ham Month
International Drum Month
Lupus Awareness Month
National Diabetes Month
National Pizza Month
National Vegetarian Month
National Popcorn Popping Month
Sarcastic Month
Seafood Month
American Pharmacist Month
Apple Jack Month
Awareness Month
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Clergy Appreciation Month
Computer Learning Month
Cookie Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Eat Country Ham Month
International Drum Month
Lupus Awareness Month
National Diabetes Month
National Pizza Month
National Vegetarian Month
National Popcorn Popping Month
Sarcastic Month
Seafood Month
HOW LUCKY ARE YOU ?
Well, it depends on where you are.
A black cat is unlucky in America but lucky in Britain.
So where are you ?
A black cat is unlucky in America but lucky in Britain.
So where are you ?
NOW YOU KNOW
- On Oct. 1, 1940, the first sectionof the Pennsylvania Turnpike, 160 miles in length, was opened to the public.
- On Oct. 3, 1990, West Germany and East Germany ended 45 years of postwar division, declaring the creation of a reunified country.
- On Oct. 4, 1957, the Space Age began as the Soviet Union launched Sputnik 1, the first artificial satellite, into orbit.
- On Oct. 5, 1988, Democrat Lloyd Bentsen lambasted Republican Dan Quayle during their vice-presidental debate, telling Quayle, "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy".
- On Oct. 6, 1683, 13 families from Krefeld, Germany, arrived in Philadelphia to begin Germantown, one of America's oldest settlements.
- On Oct. 7, 1910, a major wildfire devastated the northern Minnesota towns of Spooner and Baudette, charring at least 300,000 acres. Some 40 people are belived to have died.
- On Oct. 8, 1956, Don Larsen pitched the only perfect gamein a World Series to date as the New York Yankees beat the Brooklyn Dodgers in game 5, 2-0. Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay's no-hitter Wedensday missed being a perfect game by giving up a walk in the fifth inning.
- On Oct. 10, 1913, the Panama Canal was completed as President Woodrow Wilson sent a signal from the White House by telegraph, setting off explosives that destroyed a section of the Gamboa dike.
- On Oct. 11, 1779, Polish nobleman Casimir Pulaski, fighting for American independence, died two days after being mortally wounded during the Revolutionary War Battle of Savannah, Ga.
- On Oct. 12, 1492, (according to the Old Style calendar), Christopher Columbus arrived with his expedition in the present-day Bahamas.
- On Oct. 13, 1775, the United States Navy had its origins as the Continental Congress ordered the construction of a naval fleet.
- On Oct. 14, 1960, the idea of a Peace Corps was suggested by Democratic presidental candidate John F. Kennedy to an audience of students at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
- On Oct. 17, 1807, Britian declared it would continue to reclaim British-born sailors from American ships and ports regardless of whether they held U.S. citizenship.
- On Oct. 18, 1892, the first long-distance telephone line between New York and Chicago was officially opened (it could only handle one call at a time).
- On Oct. 19, 2010, five years today, a defiant Saddam Hussein pleaded innocent to charges of premeditated murder and torture as his trial opened in Baghdad.
- On Oct. 20, 1803, the U.S. Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase.
- On Oct. 25, 1910, "America the Beautiful", with words by Katherine Lee Bates and music by Samuel A. Ward, was first published.
- On Oct. 27, 1938, Du Pont announced a name for its new synthetic yarn: "nylon".
- On Oct. 29, 1929, Wall Street crashed on "Black Tuesday", heralding the beginning of America's Great Depression.
F. Y. I.
Faster Learner
A baby caribou can outrun its mother at three days old.
Quotable
by Indira Gandhi, former prime minister of India (1917-1984)
"Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one."
Strange But True
A venus flytrap can eat a whole cheeseburger.
Point of Distinction
More than half of the world's geysers are found in Yellowstone National Park.
States Stats
Jousting is the official sport of Maryland.
Table Tidbits
Potatoes have more chromosomes than humans.
A baby caribou can outrun its mother at three days old.
Quotable
by Indira Gandhi, former prime minister of India (1917-1984)
"Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one."
Strange But True
A venus flytrap can eat a whole cheeseburger.
Point of Distinction
More than half of the world's geysers are found in Yellowstone National Park.
States Stats
Jousting is the official sport of Maryland.
Table Tidbits
Potatoes have more chromosomes than humans.
F. Y. I.
Back Then
In Ancient Greece, throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.
Quotable
by Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady (1884-1962)
"When will our conscience grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?"
Still on the Books
In Texas, it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Table Tidbits
A pineapple is neither an apple nor a pine. It is, in fact, a large berry.
Small Wonder
The bumblebee bat is the smallest mammal on Earth. It weighs less than a penny.
In Ancient Greece, throwing an apple to a woman was considered a marriage proposal.
Quotable
by Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady (1884-1962)
"When will our conscience grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?"
Still on the Books
In Texas, it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
Table Tidbits
A pineapple is neither an apple nor a pine. It is, in fact, a large berry.
Small Wonder
The bumblebee bat is the smallest mammal on Earth. It weighs less than a penny.
F. Y. I.
In Other Worlds
"Knock-a-dolly" is a Halloween trick played in Ireland, where the holiday originated, in which children knock on the doors of their neighbors, but run away before the door is opened.
Quotable
by Voltaire, French writer and philosopher (1694-1778)
"Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
Spooky Spending
Americans spend an estimated $6.9 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country's second-largest commerical holiday.
States Stats
Oregon has more ghost towns than any other U.S. state.
On Record
The largest pumpkin ever grown was 1,689 pounds. It was grown by Joe Jutras of North Scituate, R.I.
Back Then
Early Halloween celebrations in America included public events held to celebrate the harvast, where neighbors would share stories of the dead, tell each other's fortunes, dance and sing.
"Knock-a-dolly" is a Halloween trick played in Ireland, where the holiday originated, in which children knock on the doors of their neighbors, but run away before the door is opened.
Quotable
by Voltaire, French writer and philosopher (1694-1778)
"Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."
Spooky Spending
Americans spend an estimated $6.9 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country's second-largest commerical holiday.
States Stats
Oregon has more ghost towns than any other U.S. state.
On Record
The largest pumpkin ever grown was 1,689 pounds. It was grown by Joe Jutras of North Scituate, R.I.
Back Then
Early Halloween celebrations in America included public events held to celebrate the harvast, where neighbors would share stories of the dead, tell each other's fortunes, dance and sing.
F. Y. I.
Flying High
At 5 feet, the whooping crane is the tallest bird in North America.
Terms of the Trade
The side of a hammer is called a cheek.
Quotable
by Isaac Bashevis Singer, Nobel Prize-winning author (1902-1991)
"If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet".
So Named
The lollipop was named after Lolly Pop, one of the most famous horses in the early 1900s.
Still on the Books
In Oklahoma, it is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Famous Firsts
The peach was the first fruit to be eaten on the moon.
At 5 feet, the whooping crane is the tallest bird in North America.
Terms of the Trade
The side of a hammer is called a cheek.
Quotable
by Isaac Bashevis Singer, Nobel Prize-winning author (1902-1991)
"If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet".
So Named
The lollipop was named after Lolly Pop, one of the most famous horses in the early 1900s.
Still on the Books
In Oklahoma, it is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Famous Firsts
The peach was the first fruit to be eaten on the moon.
Friday, October 15, 2010
OBSERVATIONS BY ANDY ROONEY ON THE MODERN WORLD
On Prisons:
Did you know it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angels. I already have bars on the windows.
I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and gererate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
On Cripes':
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'?
I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?
On Award Shows:
Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commericals. The Cleo Awards, a whole show full of commericals. I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.
On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know". It costs 90 cents to call up and vote...They're voting "I don't know." Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into Phone) I DON'T KNOW!"
(Hangs up looking proud.) "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say "I'm not in the mood."
Did you know it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angels. I already have bars on the windows.
I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and gererate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
On Cripes':
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'?
I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?
On Award Shows:
Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commericals. The Cleo Awards, a whole show full of commericals. I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.
On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% that say "I don't know". It costs 90 cents to call up and vote...They're voting "I don't know." Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into Phone) I DON'T KNOW!"
(Hangs up looking proud.) "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about." This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 to say "I'm not in the mood."
FOOTBALL JOKE
Coach Andy Reid had put together the perfect Eagles team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in>Bosnia. In> one cornerof the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier.
With a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a>15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away.
--ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90mph --bulls eye! "I've got to get this guy! Reid said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Bosnian is celebrated as the Great Hero of football, and when Reid asks him what he wants, allthe young man wants to do is call>his>mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl". "I don't want to talk to you", the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son." "I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment, ther are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight." The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"
With a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a>15th-story window 200 yards away -- ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away.
--ka-blooey! Then a car passed, going 90mph --bulls eye! "I've got to get this guy! Reid said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football, and the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history. The young Bosnian is celebrated as the Great Hero of football, and when Reid asks him what he wants, allthe young man wants to do is call>his>mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl". "I don't want to talk to you", the old woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son." "I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment, ther are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight." The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!"
JOKES
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" She asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16? he asked.
"Yes, I do", she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Eighter you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do", she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... ...I would have gotten out today."
This is very unusual for me. As you may or may not know, I'm not very active in the stock market, for better or worse. I'm not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice. But yesterday, I heard from a friend who is a drug rep for Glaxo/Welcome Pharmaceuticals he told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called "Ginkgo Viagra", and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.
Good Luck!!!
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" She asked.
"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16? he asked.
"Yes, I do", she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Eighter you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?"
"Yes, I do", she said.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... ...I would have gotten out today."
This is very unusual for me. As you may or may not know, I'm not very active in the stock market, for better or worse. I'm not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice. But yesterday, I heard from a friend who is a drug rep for Glaxo/Welcome Pharmaceuticals he told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called "Ginkgo Viagra", and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.
Good Luck!!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
COURT ROOM JOKE
Subject: Don't mess with a woman who hasn't had any!!!!
>>
>>
>>> Defense Attorney: What is your age?
>>> Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
>>> Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
>>> Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
>>> Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
>>> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>>> Little OLd Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>>> Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
>>> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>>> Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>>> Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him,"Take me, young man, Take me!"
>>> Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
>>> Little Old Woman: Hell no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"
>>> Defense Attorney: What did YOU do?
>>> Little Old Woman: That's when I shot the son of bitch!
>>
>>
>>> Defense Attorney: What is your age?
>>> Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
>>> Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
>>> Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
>>> Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
>>> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>>> Little OLd Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>>> Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
>>> Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
>>> Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
>>> Defense Attorney: Why not?
>>> Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.
>>> Defense Attorney: What happened next?
>>> Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him,"Take me, young man, Take me!"
>>> Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
>>> Little Old Woman: Hell no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"
>>> Defense Attorney: What did YOU do?
>>> Little Old Woman: That's when I shot the son of bitch!
WORDS OF WISDOM
Before anyone gets married again I want you to read my collection of words of wisdom about matrimony. You see, I'm smart, I always side stepped their sinster plans for my future.
- Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- The outcome of most marriages depend on income.
- A smart husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
- Marriages are made in Heaven, so is thunder and lightning.
- Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
- Bumper sticker; " DRIVER CARRIES NO CASH, HE'S MARRIED ".
- I like being married, happiness isn't everything.
- Marriage is an expensive way to get your laundry done free.
- She was the mother of the bride five times and she only has two daughters.
- Never critize your wife's judgement, look who she married.
- Men have their pictures on money, women just want to get their hands on it.
YOU'D LIKE THE DAY OFF ?
So you want the day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
- There are 365 days per year available for work.
- There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
- Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving 91 days available.
- You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.
- With a one hour lunch period each day, you have already used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
- You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work.
- We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
- We generously give you 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only one day available for work and I'll be damed if you're going to take that day off!!!
NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY
Sickness: No excuse! We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Death: ( Other Than Your Own) This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that some one else in a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.
Death: ( Your Own) This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two-week notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
Leave Of Absence: (For an Operation) We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you may have about needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.
Rest Room Activity: Too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going to the rest room in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8am to 8:05am, 'B' will go from 8:05am to 8:10am and so on. If you are unable to go at your time it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again.
Death: ( Other Than Your Own) This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that some one else in a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.
Death: ( Your Own) This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two-week notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
Leave Of Absence: (For an Operation) We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you may have about needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.
Rest Room Activity: Too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going to the rest room in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8am to 8:05am, 'B' will go from 8:05am to 8:10am and so on. If you are unable to go at your time it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again.
<< TANG SAY :
- Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
- Virginity like bubble; one prick - all gone.
- Man who run in front of car get tired.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
- Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
- Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
- Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
- War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
- Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
- Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.
- It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
- Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
- Man who sit on tack get point.
- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.
- Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
- He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
- Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion.
- Crowed elevator smells different to midget.
DID YOU KNOW ?
About the Philadelphia Phillies
The Phillies name traces back to 1874 and was informally spelled " Fillies " for any team that played for the city of Philadelphia. The National League franchise known informally as the " Phillies " was born in 1883 and replaced the Worcester Brown Stockings.
Between 1943 abd 1944, the team played as the Blue Jays but fans and sports reporters wouldn't go for it and continued calling the club the " Phillies" It wasn't until 1950 that the league officially named the team the Phillies.
Source: The Dickson Baseball Dictionary
The Phillies name traces back to 1874 and was informally spelled " Fillies " for any team that played for the city of Philadelphia. The National League franchise known informally as the " Phillies " was born in 1883 and replaced the Worcester Brown Stockings.
Between 1943 abd 1944, the team played as the Blue Jays but fans and sports reporters wouldn't go for it and continued calling the club the " Phillies" It wasn't until 1950 that the league officially named the team the Phillies.
Source: The Dickson Baseball Dictionary
SPACE SHUTTLE JOKES
Spencer: How is a wrench used on the space shuttle ?
Shamus: To tighten the astro-nuts.
Serena: Where can the space shuttle be parked ?
Susan: At a parking meteor!
Sara: How do you prepare for a space shuttle flight ?
Seth: Plan-et carefully!
Shamus: To tighten the astro-nuts.
Serena: Where can the space shuttle be parked ?
Susan: At a parking meteor!
Sara: How do you prepare for a space shuttle flight ?
Seth: Plan-et carefully!
F. Y. I.
Quotable
by Kahill Gibran, Lebanese American poet and artist (1883-1931)
"The deeper sorrow is carved into your being, the more joy you can contain".
Table Tidbits
A cucumber consists of 96 percent water.
Still On The Books
In Flordia, you are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Did You Know ?
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
For Your Health
Stepping out for a walk every day has been linked to a better night's sleep.
Quick Meal
A chameleon shoots out its tongue to catch prey at speeds faster than a fighter jet.
by Kahill Gibran, Lebanese American poet and artist (1883-1931)
"The deeper sorrow is carved into your being, the more joy you can contain".
Table Tidbits
A cucumber consists of 96 percent water.
Still On The Books
In Flordia, you are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Did You Know ?
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
For Your Health
Stepping out for a walk every day has been linked to a better night's sleep.
Quick Meal
A chameleon shoots out its tongue to catch prey at speeds faster than a fighter jet.
BROKEN CHAIN
Cute little saying to remember our loved ones at funerals
We little knew that morning
that God was going to call
your name. In life we loved
you dearly, in death we do
the same. It broke our hearts
to lose you, you did not go
alone; for part of us went
with you, the day God called
you home. You left us
peaceful memories, your
love is still our guide; and
though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same;
but as Gods calls us
one by one, the chain
will link again.
We little knew that morning
that God was going to call
your name. In life we loved
you dearly, in death we do
the same. It broke our hearts
to lose you, you did not go
alone; for part of us went
with you, the day God called
you home. You left us
peaceful memories, your
love is still our guide; and
though we cannot see you,
you are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same;
but as Gods calls us
one by one, the chain
will link again.
Friday, October 8, 2010
OCTOBER JOKES
A blonde and her father walking down the street when the father says,"look - a dead bird".
The blonde looks up and says, "Where"?
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical". The rehead's word is "sardonk". The blonde's word is "d**k".
"Guess what I got for my mother for Christmas ? An electric broom!" said the wife. "Why?" said the husband. "So she can get here faster?"
Son: "Dad, where did all of my intellegence come from?"
Dad: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine".
Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "why did daddy leave you ?" To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room. On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, herdriver's license falls out. Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an "F" in sex!"
A reporter asked Henry Ford the secert of his successful married life. "Same as with cars -- STICK TO ONE MODEL."
Sex is like air. it's not important unless you're not getting any!
A wife comes in and yells, "honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!" Her husband yells back, "should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" The wife replies, "don't care! just get the hell out!"
A lady ran into the lobby at a golf course. "I've been stung by a bee!" she yelled. "Where?" asked a golf instructor. "Between the first and second hole," she replied. "Oh," said the golf instructor, "your stance is too wide".
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife". He tells the doctor. "When she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake. "What did you do ?" asks the doctor. "Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail. I yelled to my wife, 'hey, this looks like yours!"
The blonde looks up and says, "Where"?
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical". The rehead's word is "sardonk". The blonde's word is "d**k".
"Guess what I got for my mother for Christmas ? An electric broom!" said the wife. "Why?" said the husband. "So she can get here faster?"
Son: "Dad, where did all of my intellegence come from?"
Dad: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine".
Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother replies, "gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "why did daddy leave you ?" To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room. On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, herdriver's license falls out. Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an "F" in sex!"
A reporter asked Henry Ford the secert of his successful married life. "Same as with cars -- STICK TO ONE MODEL."
Sex is like air. it's not important unless you're not getting any!
A wife comes in and yells, "honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!" Her husband yells back, "should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" The wife replies, "don't care! just get the hell out!"
A lady ran into the lobby at a golf course. "I've been stung by a bee!" she yelled. "Where?" asked a golf instructor. "Between the first and second hole," she replied. "Oh," said the golf instructor, "your stance is too wide".
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife". He tells the doctor. "When she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake. "What did you do ?" asks the doctor. "Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail. I yelled to my wife, 'hey, this looks like yours!"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
OCTOBER JOKES
Q.. Why did the 49ers hire two nuns and a prostitute ?
A.. They wanted two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q.. Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game ?
A.. There was a face-off in the corner.
Q.. What is the golfer's favorite lunch ?
A.. The club sandwich.
Q.. Who earns money while driving their customers away ?
A.. Taxi drivers.
Q.. Why was the scarecrow nominated for a nobel prize ?
A.. He was out standing in his field.
Q.. Which side of a leopard has the most spots ?
A.. The outside.
Q.. What are two things you can't eat before breakfast ?
A.. Lunch and dinner.
Q.. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a skyscraper ?
A.. Sure! skyscrapers can't jump.
Q.. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone ?
A.. He had no body to go with.
Q.. What's the best way to capture a unique bird ?
A.. Unique up on it.
Q.. What soda do frogs drink ?
A.. Croak-a-cola.
Q.. What did the boyfriend melon say to his girlfriend melon ?
A.. I think we're too young -- we canteloupe.
A.. They wanted two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q.. Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game ?
A.. There was a face-off in the corner.
Q.. What is the golfer's favorite lunch ?
A.. The club sandwich.
Q.. Who earns money while driving their customers away ?
A.. Taxi drivers.
Q.. Why was the scarecrow nominated for a nobel prize ?
A.. He was out standing in his field.
Q.. Which side of a leopard has the most spots ?
A.. The outside.
Q.. What are two things you can't eat before breakfast ?
A.. Lunch and dinner.
Q.. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a skyscraper ?
A.. Sure! skyscrapers can't jump.
Q.. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone ?
A.. He had no body to go with.
Q.. What's the best way to capture a unique bird ?
A.. Unique up on it.
Q.. What soda do frogs drink ?
A.. Croak-a-cola.
Q.. What did the boyfriend melon say to his girlfriend melon ?
A.. I think we're too young -- we canteloupe.
OCTOBER JOKES
Q.. What do you call a woman who knows where her husbands is each night ?
A.. Widow
Q.. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead ?
A.. She unties you.
Q.. How are men and parking spots the same ?
A.. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Q.. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubber ?
A.. One's a goodyear; the other's a great year.
Q.. Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan ?
A.. Because every time theystopped the clock, she thought she stopped aging.
Q.. Did you hear Mike Tyson invented a beer ?
A.. It's called nick-a-lobe.
Q.. What's the difference between a ford and a golf ball ?
A.. You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q.. Did you hear the new penality for speeding in Illinois ?
A.. On the first offense they give you bears tickets, and on the second offense, they make you use them.
Q.. What does OJ have that every man wants ?
A.. Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife.
Q.. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
A.. He heard the ref was blowing fowls.
Q.. Why did the coach give his football team lighters ?
A.. They kept losing their matches.
Q.. Why is basketball the grossest sport there is ?
A.. Because they dribble all over the court.
A.. Widow
Q.. How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead ?
A.. She unties you.
Q.. How are men and parking spots the same ?
A.. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Q.. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubber ?
A.. One's a goodyear; the other's a great year.
Q.. Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan ?
A.. Because every time theystopped the clock, she thought she stopped aging.
Q.. Did you hear Mike Tyson invented a beer ?
A.. It's called nick-a-lobe.
Q.. What's the difference between a ford and a golf ball ?
A.. You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q.. Did you hear the new penality for speeding in Illinois ?
A.. On the first offense they give you bears tickets, and on the second offense, they make you use them.
Q.. What does OJ have that every man wants ?
A.. Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife.
Q.. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
A.. He heard the ref was blowing fowls.
Q.. Why did the coach give his football team lighters ?
A.. They kept losing their matches.
Q.. Why is basketball the grossest sport there is ?
A.. Because they dribble all over the court.
OCTOBER JOKES
Q.. Why did the blonde snort sweet-n-low ?
A.. Shethought it was diet coke.
Q.. If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have ?
A.. Palm Sunday.
Q.. Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains ?
A.. Shethought it was diet coke.
Q.. If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have ?
A.. Palm Sunday.
Q.. Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains ?
A.. Because the kids have to play inside.
Q.. What did the baby digital clock say to his mother ?A.. Look ma, no hand.
Q.. What's the real punishment for bigamy ?
A.. More than one mother-in-law.
Q.. What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common ?
A.. In the end, smeone is going to loose a trailer.
Q.. What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision ?
A.. In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Q.. Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy ?
A.. No, neither did I.
Q.. What the speed limit of sex ?
A.. Sixty-eight -- at 69, you have to turn around.
Q.. What's the thinnest book in the world ?
A.. "What men know about women."
Q.. How are men and tile alike ?
A.. If you lay them right the first time, you'll be able to walk all over them for the rest of their life!
Q.. Why do men prefer intelligent women ?
A.. Oppisites attract.
Q.. What's the real punishment for bigamy ?
A.. More than one mother-in-law.
Q.. What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common ?
A.. In the end, smeone is going to loose a trailer.
Q.. What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision ?
A.. In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Q.. Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy ?
A.. No, neither did I.
Q.. What the speed limit of sex ?
A.. Sixty-eight -- at 69, you have to turn around.
Q.. What's the thinnest book in the world ?
A.. "What men know about women."
Q.. How are men and tile alike ?
A.. If you lay them right the first time, you'll be able to walk all over them for the rest of their life!
Q.. Why do men prefer intelligent women ?
A.. Oppisites attract.
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