One Big Happy Family

As the saying goes, all Happy Families are alike.
But what do they have in common?
Take the Quiz to find out ---- and discover how you can have one, too.

There comes a moment in the life of nearly every parent when you look at the chaos around you and think:
There must be a better way!
For me, that happened a few years ago.  Having survived the slog of sippy cups and diaper caddies with our then 5-year-old twin daughters, my wife and I were ready to develop a family culture.  But what are the ingredients that make families effective, resilient, and happy?  It's actually a great time to ask that question:  Recently  we've seen a stunning breakthrough in knowledge about how to make families run more smoothly.  I spent the past few years meeting with scholars, peace negotiators, online-game designers, the Green Berets, evern Warren Buffetts bankers to try to glean the secrets to happy families. 
The questions here are meant to help you do the same.

1. When a team of psychologists measured children's resilience, they found that the kids who ................ were best able to handle stress.
a) Ate the same breakfast every day
b) Knew the most about their family's history
c) Played team sports
d) Attended regular religious services
2. Children are expected to learn how many new words per year during grades 3 through 12?
a) 500
b) 1,500
c) 3,000
3. True or False : When giving children an allowance, parents should force them to divide their money into equal piles for spending , saving, and giving away.
4. What do surveys show that children want most from their parents?
a) To spend more time with them
b) For the parents to be less tired and stressed
c) A bigger allowance
5. Eating dinner together as a family has been shown to benefit children, but at least a third of Americans rarely do so.  Which of these alternatives can offer the same benefits?
a) Eating breakfast together
b) Having a bedtime snack as a family
c) Scheduling a once-a-week Sunday supper
d) All of the above
6. To encourage conservation and draw your family closer, arrange your living room seating in a :
a) U shape
b) Circle
c) L shape
7. The most common time of day for family fights is :
a) Morning
b) Dinnertime
c) Weekends
8. When it comes to discipline, who should pick the punishments?
a) Parents
b) Kids
9. The worst word you can say in a fight with a spouse is :
a) Me
b) We
c) You
d) Your mother
10. If you're having an argument with your partner or teenager, you can help reduce feelings of resentment if you:
a) Lie down and stretch out
b) Sit up with good posture
c) Lean forward and nod
d) Any of the above, as long as you're both doing the same thing
11. When men and women were asked the top three reasons they argue with their spouse, they agreed on only one.  What was it?
a) Housework
b) Children
c) Money
d) Sex
12. When siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 are together, how many times per hour do they fight?
a) one to two
b) two to three
c) three to four
13. Difficult conversations among groups of family members will go better if you have two what?
a) coffee breaks
b) moderators
c) women
d) bottles of wine
14. At family meetings, you should vote about a matter:
a) before you discuss it
b) after you discuss it
15. Research shows that girls delay the onset of sexual activity if they have a close relationship with their:
a) Mothers
b) Fathers
c) Grandparents
16. Which of these out-of-school activities is more popular for American children ages 7 to 10?
a) music lessons
b) religious activities
c) team sports
17. Which behavior is more vital to a happy relationship?
a) supporting your partner during a difficult period
b) celebrating your partner after an accompishment
18. How many Americans attend a family reunion every year?
a) 25 million
b) 50 million
c) 100 million
19. Most people say their family is:
a) Happy
b) Unhappy



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Answers : 1. b  ; 2. c  ; 3. False  ; 4. b  ; 5. d  ; 6. b  ; 7. b  ; 8. b  ; 9. c  ; 10. d  ; 11. c  ; 12. c  ; 13. c  ; 14. a  ; 15. b  ; 16. c  ; 17. b  ; 18. c  ; 19. a

So, then, what do happy families do right? Happy families adapt.  They talk --- a lot.  They go out and play.  And they make the decision to keep working on their family.  In the end, this may be the most enduring lessonof all.
What's the biggest secret to a happy family?  Trying.