Dumb Applicants

Looking for a job?  Make sure your resume is up to snuff.  A lot of job seekers don't, and we've pulled together some actual blunders to prove it.

Objective
"To secure a position as a front office".

Employment History
Last job :  "Drove a toe truck."
Before that :  "Worked in the dessert."
And before that :  "Oversaw all new corporate accusations."  "Responsibilities included recruiting, interviewing, and executing final candidates."
And before that one :  "Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."

Skills
"Perfectionist with a keen I for details."
"Being bilingual in 3 languages."
"Natural born larder."

References
"Clare."

Compensation
"Current salary : $36,000.
Salary desired :  $223,000."

Interests
"I enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians."
"My three biggest hobbies are cars, racquetball, golf, and reading."
"I like doughnuts, cupcakes, chocolate, and ice cream.  Together."
"Honestly, I like doing nothing."


Education
"Graduated in 2911."