Sunday, May 12, 2019

And Just Plain Dumb

I showed up wearing two different-colored shoes to make a major presentation to an audience of 230 people.

This guy came into my Walmart backroom, put on a vest, picked up the biggest TV, put it on a cart, dropped it, and then asked me to help lift it.  The guy thanked me and left with his brand new TV that I'd helped him steal.

At the end of a phone call, I told my boss I loved him.  I caught myself, but started rambling :  "Oh my God!  I didn't mean that.  I absolutely don't love you.......No, I mean, I like working for you but I know you're married and I'm married, and I'm not flirting, so please don't report me to HR......"  At some point, he just hung up.

I once sent a company-wide virus warning by forwarding an e-mail so people could see what it looked like should they receive one and forgetting to remove the infected attachment.

On my first day of work, I accidentally called my boss "Daddy".

When I was a teenager, I applied for a job at a hospital gift shop and was so pumped when I got the call that they wanted me.  When I showed up for my first shift, the manager gave me the weirdest look, then told me to wait while she called someone.  Turns out that they interviewed two girls named Jessica and meant to hire the other one.  They offered me a candy bar "for my trouble".  I'm still bitter.

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