Jokes

The Joke
Why did the geologist get thrown out of jazz band?
He only knew rock songs.

Pocket Watch
"I have some good news and some bad news," a minister told his Sunday congregation.
"The good news is we have enough money to cover the monthly bills. 
  The bad news is it's still in your pockets."

Gift Exchange
One day, I wanted to surprise my wife with a gift so I went to a cosmetics counter and asked the clerk, "Show me some perfume."
The clerk handed me a bottle with a $60 price tag.
"A bit much," I replied, so she returned with another priced at $30.
"Still too much," I said, adding, "what I'd like to see is something real cheap."
She handed me a mirror.

Cold Call
A recently promoted colonel in the Army was inspecting his new office when he saw a sergeant heading his way.  He quickly sat behind the desk, picked up the phone and with the sergeant standing in the doorway within earshot, said, "Why, yes, General, my wife and I would be delighted to join you and your wife for cocktails this evening, and thank you for the invitation."
Hanging up, he turned to the sergeant and asked, "What can I do for you?"
"Well, sir," he replied, "I'm from communications and they sent me over to hook up your phone."

Telling Overture
When we tried to reach a consensus on the definition of an intellectual, people advanced several suggestions ---- one's vocabulary, college degrees, languages spoken, books read weekly.
The discussion rambled on until someone offered a definition that pleased everyone: The true intellectual can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of The Lone Ranger.