OH YEA, APRIL FOOL'S !

• All those who belive in phychokinesis raise my hand.
• Early birds gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
• Ok, so what's the speed of dark ?
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink ?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Bacteria are the only culture some people have.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some don't have film.
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends ?
• Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.
• If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets lonely.
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk ?
• What happens if you get scared to death twice ?
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name ?
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.