JOKES ( TO: SANTA. RE: WHERE ARE MY GIFTS?!

• I'm sorry, but I don't have a chimney....I'll leave the cat flap unlocked for you, but please watch out for the litter box!
• Do you have elves that help or elves that sit on the sofa all day long?
• Mommy and Daddy say I have not been very good these past few days.  How bad can I be before I lose my presents?
• Did you really run over my grandma?
• I'm sorry for putting all that Ex-lax in your milk last year, but I wasn't sure if you were real. My dad was really mad.
• Do you know Tim Allen?
• You really don't need to send me the motor home.  I know that you won't be able to fit it in your sleigh.  I know that the elves won't be able to reach the pedals, and anyway, my mom said I can't get my driver's license yet.
• Pleease! Don't bring me any new clothes.
• Thank you for the remote control car last year, even though it broke the day after.  I know you tried, and that's what counts.
• Do you know Jesus is the real reason of Christmas?  Not to be mean, but he is.