Dumb Customers

Found this gem of an e-mail in the inbox today :

Client : Hello.  My fiancee and I are looking for a wedding photographer but having some issues with the contracts we are coming across.  We want a clause that guarantees us a refund should we ever get divorced, since we would not need the photos in that situation.  Please let me know if this is something you have in your contract or would be willing to add.   Thank you!

A customer came to the counter and wanted to buy a Big Mac.  When I told her we didn't have those, she asked for a Whopper instead.  I told her we didn't have those either, and she got mad at me and walked away.  I work at KFC.

Three designers share their oddest client requests :

I want you to build me an app store.  Like the Apple App Store, but better.

The roast duck on the menu looks kind of dull.  Can you make it look more alive and happy?

Can you please move the image up a tad and down a hair?

When you're a cop, Joe and Jane Public are your clients.  And on occasion you can expect bizarre 911 calls such as these.

A woman requested to talk with a police officer because her house-keeper wasn't putting her towels away properly.

Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can.  Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.

During a disturbance call, a man gave an officer a false name and was arrested after he was found to have warrants for both names.

A woman whose finger got stuck in a drain was reported to be conscious and breathing.

Suspicious people were reportedly doing something with flashlights.  A deputy checked and found the people were not suspicious, but merely Canadian.

It's come to this :  A Florida gas station owner has had to place a sign in her store asking customers not to warm their urine in the microwave.  Parul Patel's Jacksonville gas station/convenience store is just a few blocks from two drug-testing services.  Why the urine has to be delivered warm we can only guess, but when Patel confronted one woman, she indignantly demanded to see a sign that bans nuking urine in her store.  Hence the sign.

I work at a museum, and a woman asked me if mummies were older than dinosaurs.

"We actually get this question on a pretty regular basis,"  says an official with Iowa's Department of Transportation.  The source of confusion: The deer-crossing signs that are posted along the road.  And the question :  "Why don't you put these signs where it's safer for the deer to cross?"