Five reasons why a sprain is lamer than a break

                 As I walked into Doylestown Hospital gingerly clutching the arm I had injured hours earlier, only one thought ran through my mind : How can I make an article out of this?
                When my wrist only turned out to be sprained rather than broken as I originally thought, I couldn't help but think: Darn it! I'm going to have to stretch for this now, aren't I ?
                And it is to you, I present this stretch: five reasons why a sprain is lamer than a break.

1. Sympathy level
    When someone has a broken bone, the sympathy level goes way up.  People immediately want to know what happened because they recognize the amount of force it takes to break a human bone.  The injured person usually replies with a legitimate and interesting story.
    A sprain, on the other hand, is defined as an injury in a joint, caused by the ligament being stretched beyond its own capacity ---- not nearly as severe as part of your carpals splintering and snapping.
    With a broken bone, people feel almost compelled to help you.  With a sprain the reaction ia a collective "meh."
2. Difficulty in completing tasks
    This ties in with sympathy in that it is harder to do things with a cast on, and people will actually help you.  A person with a broken leg gets crutches, someone to carry his or her books and the ability to leave class five minutes early to avoid the swarm of students herded along the hallways like angsty, pimply, awkward cattle.  With a sprain they hand you a splint and tell you to go along with your pitiful existence.
    Also, if you complain with a splint on, you just sound whiny.  For example: "It's slightly harder to put on my sweatshirt than it should be" or "holding this pencil feels awkward."  You half-expect the person saying this to burst into tears over a hangnail (to be fair, those things hurt like heck).
3. Usefulness as a weapon
    Who hasn't been in this position?  You're walking home from school in this suddenly bad neighborhood and it's dark out even though it's 3 in the afternoon and then, bam, you get mugged.  With a cast you can simply whack your assailant into submission with your handy dandy arm-club.  With a splint your attacks are actually softened due to padding.
   With a cast you emerge victorious; with a splint you lie on the ground with your wallet stolen, undoubtedly in need of more useless splints and maybe a cast if you're lucky.
4. Ability to bear signatures
    A cast can be signed.  It is a way for people to show they care by writing their name on your injured appendage.  It makes all the sense in the world, right?
    Not with a splint, it doesn't.  With a splint, the best someone can give is a "hope you feel better" before walking over to that cool kid in the cast, who undoubtedly has a better story than you ---- and his wallet.
5. Perceived cause of injury
    Even if you were climbing Mt. Everest in shorts and a T-shirt with no oxygen, if you have a splint it almost always is initially thought of as less cool than a cast story.
   A broken arm gives the impression the person saved 100 babies and kittens from a burning orphanage while fending off a pack of man-eating tigers and running a marathon.  This guy is just so tough, he only broke an arm.
  When someone wears a splint, the story most likely consists of them falling or landing in some awkward manner on the joint, presumably on steps or their own two feet or even the air, further underscoring their lack of coordination.