BE A BETTER HOUSEGUEST

                       Staying with friends and family can save a bundle of cash, but don't skimp on the courtesy and gratitude, Pay attention to the following tips and you'll be invited to stay again and again.
                       Don't overstay your welcome.  You know the saying about houseguests and fish----they start to stink after three days.  If you're planning to stay longer than that, clear it with your hosts beforehand and try to stay out of their way, never show up unannounced, or with an unannounced friend, child or pet.
                      Bring a gift for your host.  A bouquet of flowers, potted plant, gourmet coffee or bottle of wine is an appropriate gift.  Something uniqueto your city or region is thoughtful, as is a book or album you think your host would enjoy. A thank-you gift isn't necessary, but a card is.  Whether it's a handwritten note or e-mail with photos of your trip attached, express your gratitude after your stay.
                      For visits longer than a night or two, pitch in on groceries.  Either shop with your hosts or go to the store without them, as they'll likely refuse straight cash.  And while it's not absolutely necessary, it's thoughtful to take your hosts out for a meal once, or stay in and cook for them one night.  Also, if you have food allergies or dietary restrictions, give your host a heads-up before you arrive, or supply your own food.
                      Your friend's or family member's place may feel like a second home, but it's not your domain.  Maybe at your house it's OK to put your feet on the furniture, leave the windows open when you leave, or eat breakfast in the living room, but don't assume it's kosher at your pal's place.
                      Always, always, always clean up after yourself.  This means being tidy at all times, even in the guest room.  Make your bed in the morning and leave the bathroom spotless.  Failing to pick up after yourself might send a message to your host that either you do not care about your host's belongings or home, or that you expect your host to pick up for you.  You don't need to fold hospital corners in the sheets or scour the tub every time you use it, but you should be neat and clean.


                      Stop asking if you can help; just do it.  Help with food preparations, set the table before a meal, fill drinks----make sure each meal is a group effort.  After you've finished eating, clear the table for your host and help him or her wash the dishes.
                      Share.  Don't hog the TV or hot water in the shower.  If you go on a morning coffee run, bring back drinks for everyone.  If you pick up a six-pack for yourself, grab an extra six-pack for your host or offer him or her one of yours.  Do not ever drink the last beer, eat the last of the chips, drain the supply of laundry detergent, or use the last of the toothpaste without asking for permission and immediately replacing the stock.
                      Don't expect your host to taxi you around town and act as your personal tour guide.  Maybe one or two days will work out, but most of the time, you'll be on vacation while your host has to work.  Entertain yourself, plan your own schedule and learn how to get around town using taxis, public transportation or a rental car.
                      Respect the written rules of the house. If your host shows you how to lock up when you leave, follow her instructions.  If your host asks you to wipe your feet at the door, do as he says.  If your host has a pet, don't leave the front door open for it to run outside.  And if your host asks you not to curse around the children, keep your conversations clean.
                      Respect the unwritten rules of the house.  Banging pots and pans at 5a.m. while your hosts are sleeping probably isn't the best way to awaken them.  Stumbling inside drunk at 3 a.m. while they're asleep isn't nice either.  See how things flow inside the house and do your best not to interrupt it.  For example, if your hostess wakes up at 6 a.m. and goes for a run, don't hop in the shower right before she gets home.  If your host likes to read the newspaper at breakfast and isn't very chatty, don't force a conversation.
                     Overall, staying with friends and family isn't like staying in a hotel.  If you need the freedom to make tons of noise, lounge around in your underwear or leave a mess in the bathroom, reserve a room in a hotel.