Jokes

There's the Rub
A couple was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary with friends when a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
"I want to travel the world," said the wife.  Poof ! ------ she was showered with plane tickets.
Seeing his wife's wish granted, the husband said, "I want a wife 30 years younger."  Poof ----- he was 90.

In the Bullpen
Two major league pitchers wondered if baseball was played in heaven.  They eventually agreed that whoever died first would let the other know.  A few months later, one died and as promised returned .  "The good news is that, yes, baseball is played in heaven,"  the spirit told his fellow pitcher.  "The bad news is that you're slated to pitch next Thursday."

Trading Up
A woman rushed into a police station with her neighbor to report her husband was missing.  The police asked for a description.
"He's 30, 6'5", with curly blond hair, an athletic build, and a great sense of humor,"  she replied.
"What?" her neighbor said.  "Your husband's 5'3", bald, fat, and crabby."
"OK," the wife shrugged.  "But who wants him back?"

A La Carte
Sally and Michael dated for five years yet not once did he bring up marriage.
"You've waited long enough," Sally's mother said.  "Next time you're out, drop a hint."
On Saturday night, they went to a Chinese restaurant.  Looking at the menu, Michael asked, "How do you want your rice?"
Without hesitation, Sally replied.
"Thrown."