Bladder Up!

                  Baseball season is back, and you're happier than a pig ----- make that Iron Pig ---- in slop.
                  You're enjoying a Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs minor-league game at Coca-Cola Park in Allentown.
                  You and your buds have been enjoying some Buds for several innings.  You disagree with the close play at first base that ended the Iron-Pigs' threat in the fourth; your eagle eyes, even after a few beers, swear the ump missed the call.
                  But that call is immediately followed by another, from nature, and it's one you don't want to miss for obvious reasons.  So, you zip up to the restroom, unzip at a urinal and .... play a video game?
                  Yes, it's true.  Gone are the days when you stood at a urinl at the ballpark and saw only chipping paint and "Good Time" Betsy's phone number.  Now when you have to go, your restroom experience is nearly as much Wii as wee.
                  The new restroom attraction at Coca-Cola Park, and the only one of its kind at a North America sporting venue, is a hands-free video game controlled by urine flow.  As a guy takes his place at the urinal, he seesa video screen mounted at eye level.  Sensors detect the player's presence and initiate the start of the game.  On the screen is a downhill skiing game in which the object is to hit animated penguins for bonus points.  As the player's stream goes left, center or right in the urinal, the sensors read the direction of the flow and that direction is reflected on the screen, hopefully knocking down the penguins and racking up points.
                 Each game lasts about 55 seconds. (How many large Cokes did you have anyway?)  The longer and faster you, uh, go, the more you'll rack up.  Each player is provided his final score and an online access code in the event he'd like to see how his score stacks up with others.
                Top scores are posted on video screens throughout the ballpark.  Imagine the level of pride upon seeing your name ranked above all others.  Hey, I'm No.1 in that restroom video game!  Can't wait to tell the kids!  As you drive home, "Wee Are the Champions" plays in your head.  Talk about becoming a whiz at live streaming.
                Other games to be offered throughout the season include "Art Splash," designed to bring out the artist in the restroom guy by having him paint from a palette, and "Clever Dick," in which true/false trivia questions can be answered by 'going" left or right .
                While the urinal video games at Coca-Cola Park are easy fodder for various types of sophomoric bathroom humor, there is a serious component here.  Lehigh Valley Health Network is sponsoring the games in the hope of promoting prostate cancer awareness.
                "Baseball fans know all about RBI, ERA and OBP," said LVHN urologist Angelo Baccala, Jr.  "But when it comes to their own PSA (prostate specific antigen, a test for prostate cancer), many men don't have a clue.  We see this game as a fun and unique opportunity to remind men about the importance of prostate health."
                The urinal video games are about the guys.  From a far corner of the ballpark, I can almost hear the ladies calling for equal time.  We enjoy beer and video games, too, they shout.  What about us?
                While there aren't restroom video games for women at the ballpark, Captive Media, the United Kingdom-based company that designed the system, has installed video screens in ladies rooms so they can keep track of the men's scores.
                 But for now, it's all about the guys.  And should a baseball-type game be offered down the road, a shout of "Bladder Up!" won't be far behind.