THIS IS NO FISH TALE : IT'S A RELAXATION TECHNIQUE

by  D.L. Stewart, a columnist for the Dayton Daily News

                            In a lifetime of staying at hotels for business or pleasure, I've never felt the need to share a room with a fish.
                            But maybe I just don't travel enough.  Because fish have replaced minibars as the amenity of choice in the rooms of some of this country's finer hostelries.
                            When you check in at New York's SoHo Grand Hotel, for instance, you can have one of the hotel's "goldfish team members" sent to your $320-a-night (advance-purchase, queen-size bed) room.
                            At 23 of the Kimpton hotel chain's properties, you can spend the night with a complimentary Betta as part of its Guppy Love program.  As the website of the Hotel Burnham in Chicago advertises: "When your pet can't travel with you, we provide a goldfish to keep you company."
                            And the reality is that while lots of people do like to take their dogs, cats and --- if they have no other choice --- kids along when they travel, few of them pack their fish.
                            Especially airline travelers.  Even if your fish can survive in the three-ounces of carry-on liquid allowed by the TSA, how will it deal with airport security? (OK, even the most power-crazed security agent probably realizes that youcan't pack a lot of exposives into a goldfish, but that doesn't mean he or she won't give it a full-body pat-down).
                            But many others have to leave their pets at home and suffer separation anxiety as a result.
                            So some hotels offer surrogates.
                            The Ritz-Carlton in Beaver Creek, Colo., has a yellow Labrador available to take walks in the woods with guests.  A black Lab at Boston's Fairmont Copley Plaza has her own e-mail address so guests can book her in advance.
                             But while walking a dog through the Colorado countryside or the Massachusetts city-side might be good exercise, what's the benefit of a goldfish in your hotel room?
                             According to Kimpton, "research has proven that watching colorful fish swim gracefully to-and-fro actually calms nerves, reduces anxiety and lowers blood pressure."
                             It even cites the Fortune 500 company CEO who requested them as a centerpiece on the table at a corporate meeting to help participants relax and focus."
                             Although if my employees needed to stare at a goldfish to get focused, I'd probably consider getting new employees.
                             Then again, any perk that can help travelers calm their nerves these days probably is a good thing.
                              Especially when they check out and realize that the charge for parking their car at the hotel is more than what it used to cost for an entire suite at the Waldorf a few years ago.