Do you know the answers ?
1) Who is the patron of artists ?
2) Near what Feast does the Liturgical year begin ?
3) What month of the year is dedicated to the Holy Souls ?
4) What Commandment is broken when a person mocks their teacher ?
The Answers
1) Saint Luke
2) Saint Andrew
3) The month of November
4) The Fourth Commandment
1) Little Johnny is in the cafeteria and he comes up to a large bowl of apples and there is a sign in front of the bowl which reads " only take 1 apple cause God is watching" then Little Johnny walks up to another large bowl of cookies and no sign in front of the bowl so Little Johnny made up a sign and placed it in front of the bowl which reads "take as many cookies as you want cause God is watching the apples".
2) Gramma took Little Johnny to church and during church service Little Johnny says to Gramma "I have to pee" and Gramma said to Little Johnny "It is not nice to say pee in church what you say is whisper" and Little Johnny says is "ok". Next week Grandpa takes Little Johnny to church and during church service Little Johnny says to Grandpa "I have to whisper" and Grandpa says to Little Johnny "ok whisper in my ear".
3) The teacher asks Sara " what do we get from chickens ?" and Sara replies "eggs" and the teacher says "very good" then the teacher asks Thomas "what do we get from p ?" and Thomas replies "bacon" and the teacher asks Little Johnny "what do we get from big fat cows ?" and Little Johnny replies "well teacher i think we get home work".
A Catholic Trivia questions, and the answers.
Do you know the answers ?
1) What does Emmanuel mean ?
2) What is scripture ?
3) Name the seven Sacraments ?
Catholic Trivia Answers
1) God is with us.
2) The inspired Word of God.
3) Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick,
Marriage and Ordination
Our Teenage granddaughter was thrilled when she landed her first real job waiting tables. But after one shift, the excitement to have waned. "How do you like being a waitress ?" I asked. She shrugged, "It would be OK if people wouldn't keep asking for stuff."
We were dining with my husband's colleague, a therapist, who told us that her seven-year-old daughter had recently asked, "Mommy, what's normal ?" Our friend gave a response that only a mother who's analyzed one too many patients could give: "Honey, normal is what people are before you get to know them
A customer called our Los Angeles travel agency asking how much a round-trip flight to Hawaii would cost. Evidently, she didn't care for the price I quoted her, because the next thing she asked was, "How far is it if we decide to drive ?"
At a mall in Brooklyn, I watched as a gentleman was approached by a kiosk vendor. "Excuse me," said the vendor, "can I ask you a question ?" The gentleman smiled as he replied, "You just did," and kept right on walking.
Reddit.com contributors remember colleagues who got axed fast.
* Guy slept through two meetings on his first day. The second meeting, he started snoring .
--XSITED1
* As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley. Within an hour of starting, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron.
-- JEFF_THE_NURSE
* I work construction. We had two new hires who were friends. Boss told one to take a coffee order and come back. He took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him because it was a big order. They never came back.
--DENDAD1218
Putting up the Christmas tree this weekend because life with a toddler isn't dangerous, messy, and terrifying enough already.
How to Decorate a Christmas Tree When You Have Kids: 1) Unpack ornament. 2) Drop so that it shatters into a million pieces. 3) Repeat.
Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.
Me: I hate putting up the Christmas tree every year. Seven-Year-Old: So why do you take it down?
I used to run into this one guy at the coffee shop who never could remember my name. To prod his memory, I pulled out a dollar and said, "My name is Bill, just like this one-dollar bill." "Got it," he said. A few days later, our paths again crossed. This time he gave me a big, confident greeting: "Well, hello, George!"
My last New Year's resolution was to lose ten pounds. I missed it by 15 pounds!
A strip club near where my daughter lived shut its doors for a while in response to COVID-19. A billboard outside announced: "Sorry, we're clothed!"
After my wife and I took our seats at a restaurant, the waiter arrived to take our order. First, he let us know that the special of the day was twin lobsters. My wife was not impressed. "That's silly," she said. "How can you tell they're twins?"
Husband: Don't be angry at me, but I accidentally spilled grease all over the oven. Me: How about I won't be angry at you, but you have to clean it. Husband: I'd rather you be angry at me.
A serious lung problem landed me in a rehab center, connected to oxygen 24 hours a day. One day the oxygen ran low, so I asked an attendant for a fresh tank. "You'll have to wait," she told me. "We're out of tanks and waiting for a delivery." As she walked away, she muttered. "This wouldn't happen if patients would just stop using 'em all up."
I called to congratulate my parents on their 24th wedding anniversary. "So, next year's your 25th," I said to my step-mom. "Is that silver, or wood, or what?" "Guts, I think," she replied.
Three-year-old and dad start assembling a new toy in the living room. Three-year-old emerges and say to me, "Mommy, what's a nightmare?"
